A
female
age
30-35,
*alu
writes:Hey need some advice, my teacher has recently passed his masseuse course. And he gave out these 50% off vouchers to work mates. I was helping out in his class as I often do and I don’t know if it was in absent mindedness or not, but he gave me one. Now I quite fancy him. Not seriously or anything, just a fleeting fancy. I’ve been looking for a good masseur for a while, and although I don’t know if he’s any good, I feel like I can trust him not to be perverse. But I’m only 15, am I actually allowed to use this offer my teacher has given me? My mum knows about the offer, and how I got hold of it, the whole story, and she’s fine with it as long as she doesn’t have to pay for the session. Which is fair.But I want to get your opinion of whether it was absent mindedness on his part, or if he genuinely thought/wanted me to use it. And also if it would be ok for me to use it? Because I don’t want to put his school career at risk because of a shoulder and neck massage. Because people's tongues will always wag.One final thing. If you think it is ok for me to get this massage, is there anyway I can do it without feeling awkward or nervous about the whole thing? I’ve never gone for a massage before, and although it doesn’t feel wrong in anyway, just thinking about it makes me feel slightly nervous.Any help will be much appreciated :)Halu xx
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (9 September 2010):
 I'll go a different path then these other aunts because i understand that you want to do this and there is no sexual connection here for either you or the teacher. The fact that you fancy him does not mean sexually he may be a very nice person and that is why he is liked. His advertising techniques although they are a little unorthodox are actually very clever.
Wait until you are no longer his student and let him know that you are waiting so that no one misinterprets this proffesional work with a teacher/student issue. As long as you are no longer his student the rules do not apply. Not every teacher wants to abuse their students, he probably just wants to get this career up and running and younger people will be long time clients.
A
female
reader, happy24birthday  +, writes (9 September 2010):
 He knew exactly what he was doing in giving you the 50% off voucher. Do not get a masssage from him. It's just icky.
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (9 September 2010):
 No. This would not be an appropriate meeting of teacher/pupil.
Regardless of your age, outside of school that would be classed as inappropriate conduct with a pupil, because he is your teacher.
The fact you also have a crush on him, which he should never reciprocate is also a big warning bell. Even if this was an overture to something more perverse, you should not take it.
Give your Mum a nice present.
If you really want a massage, find a different masseuse. Altho I believe you would have to get written parental permission to have a massage, if not have them present because you are under 16.
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A
female
reader, halu +, writes (9 September 2010):
halu is verified as being by the original poster of the question ok thanks, i don't need a masseuse but as i work out a lot, my shoulders feel like they're made of iron, my trainer occasionally notices and has repeatedly told me to go to a qualified masseuse, as he can only do so much good. and me working out isn't for vanity, to make me slim or anythin, but it's training so i can get my fitness up for the armed forces. i also need to find better ways of dealing with stress. but i will manage.i did suspect that it would be hazardous to my teacher career which is why i asked about it.thanks for the advice about giving the voucher to my mum. i think i'll do that. but i wont tell her i used the voucher, her birthday's coming up so i'll pay for it all :) (using the voucher of course, i'm always short on money haha)
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (9 September 2010):
 I agree with Q, give the voucher to your mother so she can have a nice treat and you don't have any worries about whether or not this is an appropriate student/teacher contact. You've spent so long trying to explain it, it's pretty clear that it will be a problem.
Your other alternative is just to tear the voucher up and thank him for the gesture. Then forget about it.
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A
male
reader, skates89us +, writes (9 September 2010):
Yep I agree..Your 15 sorry you dont need that and neither does he
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (9 September 2010):
 Why do you need a masseuse, your 15? I would be very uncomfortable going to get a massage from my teacher. It's understandable that he passed his course and is excited, giving a 50% to his co-workers is fine but you're his student. So I think that's highly inappropriate that he gave you a voucher and no one else in your class got one? No teacher is allowed to touch a student, a keep your hands to yourself rule and I'm sure that applies to off campus as well. If admin caught wind of this I'm sure he would be in a world of shit. Find yourself another masseuse.
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