A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello! I was seeing this guy for one month. Lately he has been very stressed out and he kept telling me that he gets very tired and that he has many things on his mind. I know, it was all true and not lies. That was the reason we couldn't see each other often. So one night he was at my house, after we had sex i asked him to stay a bit more, although i knew he couldn't and he had explained me that he had work to do. While he was getting ready to leave I told him ''it seems like you are coming here only for this(sex)'' and he said ''i knew you would say that'' and got angry and upset. He didn't want to talk to me and left like that, although i said sorry to him immediately. He only said ''you've never seen me getting angry, please open the door''.Right after he had left, i called him and he was willing to hear what i had to say but was still angry. He said ''i can't understand why you said that''. I explained myself once again and told him i would call him later. Then he said ''Yeah don't you forget'' and we hanged up.It's been a week since that night and he refuses to talk to me. He doesn't answer my calls or texts. I texted him if he wants to break up or if he is still angry and needs time but no response. In my last text i sent him today(a week after) i apologized to him for not thinking how much busy he is and that i know he is going through a lot.Although we don't know each other well,we live close, I know his family and we bump into each other often. He knows for sure that i am a decent person and it would be really wierd if he dumped me without a word and for that stupid reason. We bump into each other often and he couldn't disappear, he knows that. Once -that fact was before we had anything between us- we were all together with his family having dinner and he got annoyed by something really stupid i said, i then told his sister what happened and she told me that he gets angry or annoyed easily and not to bother cause he gets over it soon and that he is a bit difficult with girls.Then what is going on? Please help me. I need your thoughts. Does he need time to cool off plus the fact he is being stressed out by other stuff? Will he ever answer me? Do you think he would end it without a word? What do you think? I would apreciate a male's opinion.I am not asking you if he is worth it, please focus on what i am actually asking.What i'm actually asking is, do you think he broke up with me or is he just angry and acting immature? Thank you reading or answering!
View related questions:
broke up, immature, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2012): Thank you for your time answering my question.
What i don't get is why doesn't he end it with me. I asked him to make it clear to me and be decent if he wants to break up or if he is just angry and hadn't responsed since then. Why doesn't he just send me a text back saying it's over if that's what he wants? His behavior makes me so confused since we live very close and he knows that sooner or later we will bump into each other and that he can't avoid talking to me.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2012): Thank you for your time answering my question.
What i don't get is why doesn't he end it with me. I asked him to make it clear to me and be decent if he wants to break up or if he is just angry and hadn't responsed since then. Why doesn't he just send me a text back saying it's over if that's what he wants? His behavior makes me so confused since we live very close and he knows that sooner or later we will bump into each other and that he can't avoid talking to me.
...............................
A
female
reader, fishdish  +, writes (5 May 2012):
 I think he used the opportunity to break up with you. You had a valid concern and maybe you weren't tactful, but it was your way of saying you need more than just sex for your needs to be met-you have emotional needs too! His choosing to avoid this conversation for this long means he doesn't wish to invest further in the relationship, busy or not.
...............................
A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (5 May 2012):
You do need to consider the question of whether he’s worth it or not though. The problem is that by refusing to communicate with you like this he’s leaving you in a horrible limbo. You can’t try to cope with a breakup, or move forward as a couple, because you don’t know where you stand. I think you will need to force an answer from him. Tell him that refusing to talk to you is not going to resolve anything, and that you don’t know where you stand with him. I would even go so far as to tell him that you will assume a failure to respond within a certain period of time (don’t make it too long) means that he doesn’t want to continue the relationship and that it’s over. You might not like the answer but at least you will know either way. But how long can you tolerate this childish behaviour every time you disagree? Do you want to remain in this relationship? If you do, things need to change. You need to agree a way to resolve disagreements better in the future and stick to it. That will require an open and honest conversation. You should also agree how often you expect to see each other, this should be a compromise that takes in to account how busy he is but also your wish to spend time together. He should want to spend some time with you too.
So, you do need to ask yourself whether he’s worth it or not, and if so, how do things need to change? But before that, you need to find out if he wants to be in this relationship or not, and you can’t wait forever to find out. Make it clear to him that if he wants things to continue, he’s got to respond to you and let you know. Otherwise, you really do need to walk away, because a relationship like this will only make you unhappy.
I wish you all the very best.
...............................
A
female
reader, Eyespy17 +, writes (5 May 2012):
You need to take back the power. Yes he is breaking up with you . Has broken up with you in a cowardly way. He was clearly using you for sex only and when you got wise and called him
Out on it - he got angry and defensive and did the classic flip and blame you.
If he wanted a real relationship with you - when you said the sex only comment - he would have gone out of his way to hug you - buy you flowers - reassure you - stay the night.
Since he is clearly not going to answer you - I would take back the power and text him and say " clearly you are a coward and don't have the decency to break up with me in person. So I'm doing it for you. Goodbye"
And NEVER text him again. That is your closure.
...............................
|
