A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Me and my gf split 3 months ago but we had sex 3 days ago we both wanted it and i woke up 2 her the next morning she was crying saying that i had raped her she never told me to stop untill half way through and it was in her playful way the way she did when we were together i didnt rape her and i still love her she says she is thinking about going to the police did i rape her? i dont understand what do i do. we were together for 18months before splitting up i dont know. plz help ????!!!! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (21 April 2008):
 We don't know what exactly is her motive in saying you raped her.
It could be that she is blackmailing you .
You would know later what is her intentions.
She can report to the police and you will find yourself in trouble.
Proving it in court is another matter and it would most
probably be thrown out as there were no evidence of rape.
To prove rape , you have to prove reasonable force was
inflicted onto her , like she was tied up or you had a gun
or knife to put fear into her.(The knife or gun with your finger prints on it .)
You will be put through alot of troubles if she goes to the
police even if you are innocent.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2008): Well you do realise she could get youin serious trouble?!
I think you need to steer clear, Im not sure how the police would take her case as she remained in the same bed the following morning and didnt run a mile?! She might be thinking that you pander to her every need for fear of her reporting you, so it might be an attention thing - what a horrid thing to do.
Either way, if she does go to the police tell the truth, exactly what you said here, from the information that you have given I would say she may have said the words no but she did not fight to get you off, she did not scream and shout, she was not drugged or tied down and she did not even leave when it was all over....steer clear of her and let it be a lesson learnt! let us know how you get on x
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A
female
reader, Stayc63088  +, writes (20 April 2008):
 Most likely she did it and now regrets what she has done. Like when some girls say the guy took advantage when clearly she wanted it too (not in all cases). Technically though if the girl says no, it means no and you stop. I don't know how strong her case would be being that you dated for so long before with no previous history of abuse or rape and she stayed with you the entire night. I would try talking to her and explaining you thought she was playing when she said no, that you love her and would NEVER harm her or do something she is uncomfortable with. If she insists on going to the police I would take it very seriously if I were you and talk to a lawyer or any trusted adult to see your options. It is definitely not something to be taken lightly. She may let it go, I don't know the girl or how serious she is. In any case good luck, sincerely.
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A
female
reader, sweetheart03 +, writes (20 April 2008):
Yeah she feels guilty!! And that's wrong cause rape is serious! You need to leave this girl alone! If she will do that to you or even say she would you don't need her in your life!!! Plus 18 months!!!! The police should think that's crazy for her to cry rape! Stop talking to this girl please! Don't worrie its been days she can't prove rape cause they would take her to the doctor and need evidence of rape to charge you! Its kinda to late plus your her ex boyfriend!!! Just don't call her cause she can be trying to set you up save all voicemails and try and save any texs of her saying it wasn't rape or anythin that might help out if she does go to the police! But I think nothing will happen its to fishy!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2008): You said she never told you to stop until half way through. What does half way through means? and more importantly did you stop after she asked you to?
Give yourself an honest response to these questions and i am sure you will know if you raped her!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2008): It seems to me it's a case of your word against hers. The fact you woke up together suggests that she didn't find it too distressing or she'd have run off down the street in whatever she was wearing at the time of the alleged rape.
Whatever happens, she sounds like bad news and the sooner you get her out of your life the better.
Let her try to prove it if she wants to go to those extremes. Maybe a chat with a solicitor wouldn't be a bad idea right now.
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A
female
reader, cute angel  +, writes (20 April 2008):
 well the girl seems to be crazy!!if she would want you to stop she could have said more clearly or just pushed you away!!may be she wants you back and only way she can do it is the whole rape thingy!!!dont be scared of it,she would do nothing.and police wow the girl is nuts dude,,she has no reason to go to the police..its not your fault..
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