A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a girl I fell madly in love with, we fit perfectly, I think the world of her, gave her the world. After 8 months we moved in together. 9 months later she left me. Many conversations and weeks later I got the reason that she didn't want a serious relationship, she is afraid of commitment. We struggled for weeks, falling further and further part, eventually I left her, unable to take the cold shoulder that she carries any further. Two weeks past'ed and I again approached her to get closure, to understand what went wrong. Another two weeks past, I have begun dating again, trying to forget her to move on. There are plently of other girls willing to give me a chance and appreciate what I would do for them. For some reason I am consistently hung up on her though. She called me over last night to talk. It was an emotional conversation, she still wanted to see me (as I her), but she doesn't want it to be serious or exclusive. I on the other hand disagree. She feels that its ok to date others (no sex) and still be together with me. I can't stand the thought of that, it leaves the door open to hurt each other. How do you deal with this type of situation? She agrees however that if I left her for someone else it would hurt, that is however the point to leaving the door open is it not? To see what better comes along? If you really love someone, isn't it worth being serious, exclusive, and avoiding hurting that person?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, lilmisse2424 +, writes (21 April 2008):
 One thing for sure is that you have to stop feeling bad because you haven't really aren't respecting yourself and what you deserve. Secondly, you need to stop being passive, and start manning up. You may have to start drawing the line that your girl doesn't deserve the goods anymore because of how she has treated you. You sound and seem like a great guy, but confused. There are definitely better women out there for you, and you do deserve someone better. Someone who loves you and just wants to be with other people other than you is someone you wouldn't want to be in a relationship with. The truth is an open relationship may lead to heartbreak, if you really love the other person. She wants you to compromise, and if you really love her and want her and this is what she wants, do not give into it. I would advise you to leave the relationship because it may be hard, but it is best for you in the end. You gave her the world and everything, but she hasn't given that back to you.
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