A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my ex broke up a few weeks ago, in what seemed like an amicable split. I didn't hate him and I stopped my friends badmouthing him even though he broke my heart because I thought that he was a good guy. But now he's just acting like a selfish bastard and I don't know where I stand. My friend had some birthday drinks on Friday and he said he wasn't coming because we needed 'space' from each other, which I respected. But then he rocks up with a group of people from work, sits at the table opposite us in clear view and doesn't even say hi to the birthday girl, who is his best friend. This isn't the first time that he's been deliberately cruel to me despite any contact (i.e. checking that I've given all his stuff back and nothing's lurking in a drawer) being friendly from my side. I just don't understand what he wants from me. Was this a warped attempt to make me keep hurting, or is it a masochistic attempt to remind himself what he's lost because he feels regretful? It cannot have been a genuine mistake because it has been a point of contention in a previous argument. I'm not quite sure what he wants from me - I just need to know his motivation so I can let all this anger go, but clearly it's inappropriate to speak to him when he wants space from me. He told me when we broke up that he wanted to stay friends (yes, I know it's a cliche but I did believe him) but then why is he acting in such a mean way when I have done nothing to hurt him - this has all come out of his weird decision that I'm too young for him (he's 3 years older than me and definitely not as mature - he knew how old I was when we got together and it's never been a problem before now). I just don't know what to do, please help! xxxxx
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female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (20 April 2008):
 Sweetheart askoldersister has definitely got a point the guy is not OK about the break up and he may have regrets but he was the one saying about the age thing and now he is throwing his toys out of the cot, pathetic I'm afraid.
Don't bend over backwards to be a friend to this guy, true friendship is when there is give and take, not take, take, take and acting like a prat which is what he is doing.
Don't stop doing or going to places where his friend might be but turn your back on him and if he acts like a moron then just ignore him, you can display maturity even if he can't.
Don't stop living because he is too immature to handle going to somewhere where he blatantly knows you will be, he is trying to act all macho and over you to his mates when he clearly has no idea how to do that in a mature manner.
Move on sweetheart and if he sees that then he will be the one with egg on his face not you, go out and have fun with your friends as life is for the living and not being ruled by an ex, believe me.
Don't protect this moron any more OK, if he continues to act like a bad guy then let people know that he is, you don't have to go into details but by saying that he hurt you they will realise who is the one who is the victim in all of this and believe me he won't get any sympathy and after a while if people who used to like him see this behaviour they will get tired of it to and won't invite him to their parties etc.
Take care and always around as we all are OK.
BFN
Country Woman
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