A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Am I wrong for tell my boyfriend that we won't live together or take any big steps in our relationship until he gets a dna test on a child he doesn't know is his or not? We've been together for almost a year. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, notagain +, writes (25 December 2010):
Ok, I just recently wrote my story on here so you should read it. My girl my boyfriend was messing before we got together told him she was pregnat. For nine months, I went through HELL! He would go over to "make sure she was ok" all the time. It made me crazy. When she had the baby. I bought a paternity test from CVS. It was like $30. But when you send the actually kit in it's like $150. Two weeks later, the results came in and it wasn't his! The girl got pregnant so my boyfriend would be in her life. CRAZY! If he is on the birth certificate, he has to have a court appointed DNA test, otherwise she can still hit him up for child support, even if the baby is not biologically his. Let me know if you have any questions.
A
male
reader, rivi +, writes (15 June 2010):
How can he NOT want to know ?
Irrespective of whether he is the Daddy or not there-s something not right in his head.
You need to worry about his general mentality as well as the daddy business.
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A
female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (11 June 2010):
 He doesn't KNOW if the child is his or not? That's rather absurd. Is he prepared to pay child support for eighteen years or better without knowing he's the biological father?
This seems just stupid to me.
I don't blame you for insisting upon facts. But I would raise some serious questions on this guy's mentality and method of dealing with reality, CG is right, this will continue to come up again and again, unless resolved.
Be smart about this. Make no big decisions with this guy until he pulls his head out of....the sand and gets with reality.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2010): What are the views of the other people involved, such as the child's mother? She could have required the potential fathers to take a DNA test, why didn't she? Time you went and had a chat with her.
Without knowing these things, you are being very hard assed up front. You could end up looking a complete fool.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (11 June 2010):
 You can't force him to do it, but I'd not get serious in a relationship with this man when he doesn't even know. This is too immature of a behaviour on his side, a reckless behaviour in the past which leads him to not even know. And imagine, if you are to be serious with him, this kid that might not even be his will also become a part of your life, and if you and him get married, some of your money will go to this child. It would hurt so unbelievably much if it later on was revealed that it is not his.
If there is doubt, get that test. And if he wont do it... think about what you are getting yourself into.
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A
female
reader, foxy7727 +, writes (11 June 2010):
 no ur def not worng this is a huge thing and is something that will effect ur relationship depending on the outcome and ur life so i woulod say stick to your grounds. good luck to u:)
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A
female
reader, Myrrh  +, writes (11 June 2010):
 You are right to ask for a test. If he is the father he will have certain responsibilities towards the child, vsits, child support and years of regular contact with his ex. Its quite a biggy, so you need to know now rather than later. I think you are being very wise.
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A
female
reader, sarcy24 +, writes (11 June 2010):
 No you are not wrong at all. Your whole future depends on this so you have every right to ask.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (11 June 2010):
No, you're not. Unless he knows he's the father for sure, this is problem that will present itself again and again. He needs to know.
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