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female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: My Granddaughter has writing letter to her father,she has not seen her father since last year. SHe is only 5. My daughter wants to take her to see him, but I against because.I think this man will only emotionally hurt my little granddaughter.I just don't want to see him come in and out of her life when he suits him. I love my little granddaughter so much, I just dont want to see her getting upset. I think my daughter shoulde forge4t him and move on with her life..Do you think am been over protective?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2011): You have not really given any good sound reason, so on this i say you are wrong and selfish. Why on earth should you wish the father of your grandaughter to loose out on a relationship with his daughter and vise versa? why should you have this pleasure if he can't? You are wanting to alienate him and this is wrong and unfair.
He is her Father and NOBODY should stand in the way, you should support and encourage this relationship.
spunky monkey
A
male
reader, freeme  +, writes (7 June 2011):
 I agree with CindyCares, except in cases where the Daughter has her own personal issues that prevent her from being a good mother.
Examples include: Drug/Alcohol abuse, Mental disorders which impair parental judgment.
I think if that were the case, as a Grandmother its your job to step in. But absent of those kinds of issues, its Mom's job to make decisions for her children.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (7 June 2011):
 Hmmm difficult to step back at a time like this but it's what you must do. Unless your daughters judgement is extremely impaired, it is her right to choose for her child to see its father. You might come off worse if you make it into a battle.
As the other aunts have said, be loving and supportive and be there to pick up the pieces if it all goes wrong. Try not to be judgemental, more for your own sake than your daughters, then she is more likely to keep you in the loop and you can maintain closeness with your grandchild.
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (7 June 2011):
 is her dad a bad person or is it just that you feel he has abandoned his daughter by lack of contact? why did this contact break down? honestly, is it all his fault or might your own daughter have played a part? whatever your concerns are, it is ok to tell your daughter how you feel, but unless there is some real worry for their personal safety around him i think you will just have to accept your daughters decision.
be a good mum and be there for them if it all goes wrong again
x
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (7 June 2011):
 I don't know if you are being overprotective- but I feel you are , quite frankly, overstepping boundaries and interfering. This is justifiable, normal in fact, because you are a good ,doting Grandma that only wants the best for her granddeaughter and it's natural you are apprehensive.
BUT : your grandaughter has a mother ( your daughter ) who supposedly is a responsible adult and is perfectly capable to make decisions for her child's life, without your help. Well, maybe she is not , in your view or logic, - but again, that's your opinion. Your daughter may have weighted pros and cons and decided that the possible benefits compensate adequately for the possible risks.
In any caee, the role of grandparents is to give love and affection, and support IF and WHEN required. Not to say : do this, do that, it's better this way or the other.
This is a temptation you MUST resist.
After all, you have raised your daughtr as YOU saw fit.
Let your daughter do the same for her child.
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