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Date for the first time - what to do

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 August 2010) 6 Answers - (Newest, 3 August 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hey guys, just a quick question. I'm meeting this guy for the first time tomorrow and I have NO idea what to do. I don't know what to talk about - we've been texting a lot already so I know we do have quite a lot in common already but still - and I don't know how to act. I've never been on a 'date' before properly and when I've been out with people in the past as a younger teen its always been with people I've been close friends with beforehand.

Any advice given will probably be lifeadvice so it would be really appreciated; thanks.

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A female reader, Love_is_all_youu_need United Kingdom +, writes (3 August 2010):

Love_is_all_youu_need agony auntSometimes meeting someone for the first time is a really calming experience!!

I went on a date with a guy who i've been messaging for about 3 months and who I had never met before.

I was nervous beforehand, but when we met up - we just clicked! it felt like I was talking to a best friend and we both had a really nice time :)

There is no set rules on how to act or what to talk about. You simply just be yourself and let the conversation occur naturally! The only warning I can give you is not to invade his personal life, by asking deep questions. Have fun, keep the conversation topics light and enjoy each other's company :)

And if you're lucky, you might get a cheeky kiss at the end of the night.

Good luck xx

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A female reader, londonmiss United Kingdom +, writes (3 August 2010):

londonmiss agony aunthonestly all i can say is be yourself :)

ask him questions like what he is studying/where he works/what he does in his spare time

the conversation will flow eventually and new topics will emerge about of your or his questions

relax! and enjoy

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A male reader, Odds United States +, writes (3 August 2010):

Odds agony auntThe morning before the date, write down a list of 3 conversation-starting phrases in the event of a lull in the conversation. While normally I'd advise simply being comfortable with silence (and gazing lovingly into on another's eyes...), for your first date ever, just the feeling of being "prepared" can help.

Don't be afraid to touch his arm when you laugh, hold his hand/arm when you walk, or otherwise physically display affection - these sorts of clear signals to a guy increase the likelihood of a second date. However, I would strongly advise against having sex before the fourth date - later might be even better. Putting out too early will make the guy temporarily happy, but he will look down on you afterwards.

Additionally, be sure to turn your phone completely off during the date - it's extremely rude for the phone to even ring, and if checking it is a deal-breaker for many guys (probably women too).

Good luck, and have fun!

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A female reader, k_c100 United Kingdom +, writes (3 August 2010):

k_c100 agony auntDont do anything - just be yourself. I know it seems cheesy and contrived but if you try and act a certain way, or plan conversations you will seem fake and he wont like that at all!

You said you already have lots in common so that will come out on your date, you will both be nervous at first so it might be a little awkward but that is the same for everyone on a first date! If no conversation occurs at first at all, just ask him how his day has been or something like that, you can always pick out something relatively interesting from there!

As Cerberus said, make sure you are looking great to give you the confidence boost you need, and then make sure you ask questions about him, make eye contact every now and again and smile lots. Be natural and maybe think back to some text conversations you have had in the past - if there was something particularly interesting you were talking about bring that up again.

You dont need to worry, nerves are natural and just allow yourself to be excited about it. Thats the best bit of a first dates - not knowing what is going to happen and the excitement of the unexpected!

I hope this helps and good luck!

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A female reader, cocoqueen88 United States +, writes (3 August 2010):

cocoqueen88 agony auntcerberus is 100% right. just be yourself. go out and get a new outfit and get your nails done or something to calm your nerves. too much pressure can ruin the first date.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2010):

You don't "do" anything. Just talk and be yourself. There is no set rule on how to act.

Just make sure you're well groomed, nicely dressed to suit where you are going and that's about it.

Treat it like any meeting with any one of your friends.

Listen, make eye contact, ask him about him and talk to him about you. There really is nothing to it.

First dates are fun and you're going to have a lot of fun, just keep telling yourself that and you won't be that nervous.

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