A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Ok so I've been going out with my girlfriend for 3 months + and today she told me she is losing feeling for me and she wants a break. She says she doesn't want to lose me and that she still loves me. She says she needs a break because we talk every day. What should I do? I asked her when she wants to end this break and she said "when the time is right"Should I ignore her until the break is over?
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male
reader, wardyaus  +, writes (4 August 2010):
 Just give her some time to think things over, you don't want to pressure her into a situation that makes her drift further away from you.
That doesn't mean you will get back together, i was in a simular situation and we never got back but if it happens, it happens.
Such is life.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2010): There are breaks that include dating others and there are breaks that do not allow that. You better make sure you both agree on which kind of break this is.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2010): Maybe it would be best to give her this break,(a break being a period of time where you are not together, am I right) sadly when people are asking for breaks its sometimes because they are not brave enough to break up, or they have their eye on somebody else, but dont want to be called a cheater, so they get with them when you are "on a break" Think long and hard about whether or not your wasting your time. Dont be offended but your very young and this is the sort of problem that most adults struggle to cope with. good luck hun x
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A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (3 August 2010):
 Give her the break, if she is not sure what her feelings are for you. You do not want to be with a person who has no feelings for you, sometimes those break are necessary for you to know if that is who you want to be with.
Just know that on a break either one can seek to date a different person, so be prepare for that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2010): At 13 you will both be going through lots of changes, which is probably what your girlfriend is experiencing. 13 is way too young to be dealing with this as though you're both 25 with some emotional experience and maturity. You are both just starting out in the world of relationships, flexing those dating skills, so try keep an open mind.
This is not in anyway to detract from what your feeling, or how upset you are at your girlfriend suggesting a break, at 13, neither of you are likely to be making this your one and only relationship till your 80. So I think addressing your question as though advising a couple in their mid to late twenties, will not really help you.
I would be say, give her the space she says she wants and needs, as someone who has reached this decision, trying to change their mind, or asking them to explain why, has a tendency to make them more distance.
Let her COME to YOU. And as she has said she wants to remain friends, and that she loves you, may be with a little space she may miss 'TALKING everyday' and contact you.
Love at any age is difficult, so whether 13 or 33, when someone you love says they want a break, it's not exactly easy, and of course it may be her way of gently moving a break into parting completely.
My only concern with ' breaks ' is there are a lot of grey areas, that neither side really appreciate or understand, or in deed discuss in full before a break.
Does your girlfriend want a break, where you have NO contact at all, and you both act as single people able to meet and date others, and just agree to meet up again in certain amount of time, and see if you miss each other and want to get back together. OR does she want a break where neither of you date anyone else, but in essence remain attached, but without the benefits of being together, nor the benefits of being single?
COMPLICATED..see what I mean by grey areas of ' Breaks ' they might seem a great idea, but few bf/gf really think about what it means. Either option is terribly RISKY as it permits emotional detachment, and leaves the ONE who does not want the break in a very vulnerable position.
I would ask her what she wants or hopes to achieve by having a ' BREAK' So sorry that you're going through such an emotional minefield, it's an awful feeling, but hopefully you will be able to talk to her about all this, and perhaps clear the air with her.
Good luck..
Jilly x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2010): I have been in the same situation as you, and it looks like you have not been giving her any space. Sometimes we do not realize that we are crowding those we love and infringing on them. Even in a marriage where two people love each other very much, space or a "break" between the partners should always be given. When I was younger, I made the same mistake with my GF, visiting her almost everyday, calling her all the time etc. This can actually be stalking in the eyes of your GF, as well as other.
Here is what you should do: Give her the space she needs. Tell her that when you are ready to resume the relationship, I am here, and give me a call. After that, do not contact her in any form or manner, even though you may be tempted to, and even if it hurts. Dont even ask her friends about her. You have to stick to with this like your life depends on it.
If she really loves you, she will come back, and she will appreciate you more. If she does not come back or breaks the relationship off, that means that she never really loved you in the first place, and it is better for this to happen now then later. You will have to face this fact, and move on.
I will tell you that if you continue to crowd her, no matter how much she loves you she will break it off. I hope this helps
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2010): If I were you then I'd agree to the break and then let her be the one to contact you if that's what she really wants. But then again she could just be saying she wants a break when what she really wants is to split up completely. If the only problem was that you two talk too much, then surely she'd just ask if you could talk less? I'd try to find out if she's absolutely positive that all she wants is a break and then concentrate on the other things that are going on in your life. You're only young! Good luck x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2010): i think she thinks you are crowding her space and she needs time to herself and she is finding a nice way of telling you that she doesnt wanna be with you but she wants to be friends
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2010): I'm sorry to say this but in my experience break is code word for 'it's not working'. If you ignore her, then at least you will retain some power in the situation, but ultimately I would be prepared for the fact that you won't get back together. I hope you prove me wrong though!
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A
female
reader, cocoqueen88 +, writes (3 August 2010):
 that means he wants to break up with you and she probably won't be calling back. "I wanna take a break" just means "I really wanna break up but I don't wanna hurt your feelings" move on....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2010): Get involved in other activities. Do things with other friends. This might be a polite way to break up with you permanently, or she could be just concerned that you focus too much on her and nothing else. If she sees you having fun, pursuing other activities, etc. she may want to see you again.
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