A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello women out there. Would it be true that any man within the average range of attractiveness, taking into account looks, clothing, job, education, etc, who is also totally comfortable in his own skin, has his own goals that he's heading toward without comparing himself to others, can sexually turn on almost any sexually healthy woman including the most beautiful ones, without resorting to touch or dirty talk?If not, then what is the reality of what level of beauty an average man can attract, who is comfortable in his own skin, etc (as described above)? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (20 January 2012):
 I'm not a girl, but I can tell you this much: if you come upon someone who is just extremely good, experience teaches you not to believe that. There needs to be a flaw somewhere.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2012): "Would it be true that any man within the average range of attractiveness, taking into account looks, clothing, job, education, etc, who is also totally comfortable in his own skin, has his own goals that he's heading toward without comparing himself to others, can sexually turn on almost any sexually healthy woman including the most beautiful ones, without resorting to touch or dirty talk?"
From an average guy of thirty-five years ago: Absolutely. The secret is . . . (shhhh, don't tell anyone) . . . getting to know a woman well enough to know what turns HER on BEFORE you sleep with her. It's all about her; the more you know (and like and respect and admire and enjoy) about her, the more you can pleasure her because the more you want to pleasure her.
You nailed the key point twice: "comfortable in his own skin." The only way you can really turn a woman on is by being who you are; in my case I've always been aware any false facade I wore to bed would be as flimsy as my imported Italian silk designer boxer shorts, as soon as they slip off the whole world knows I'm strictly Fruit of the Loom cotton tighty whities. Nothing screams "Irish American Baby Boomer male!!!!!" more than a pale stubby helmet-head weenie. I can't even hide behind a spray-on tan.
But I've never had any complaints or problems, always been completely comfortable in my own skin, as genetically and surgically short-changed as I may appear to may be in certain areas, and the select few with whom I choose to be intimate have always seemed to be impressed with my very large, extremely sensitive and highly developed sex organ. The one between my ears.
It ain't the meat it's the motion.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (20 January 2012):
 I don't think so . Individual tastes vary widely, and " an average level of attractiveness " is a vague definition that does not say much. What for you may belong to average level of attractiveness may belong to below average for me and viceversa. Plus, some women will be turned on mostly by looks and less by wit, conversation , education, etc... and others, all the opposite.
I am afraid you'll have to play it by ear , on a case by case basis :)
Being confident and comfortable in your own skin surely helps , though. They are very attractive qualities and so far I 've never heard of anybody who is repelled by a healthy self confidence ( not cockyness or arrogance )
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A
female
reader, natasia  +, writes (20 January 2012):
 Ok. First principle: within max. 13 seconds of meeting someone, you know whether you want to get close to them. This is a physical, chemical thing which operates completely apart from your conscious/subconscious assessment of things like how much he or she has in the bank.
Now yes, some guys will have more women automatically wanting to get close to them than others - and yes, they are likely to be the ones who look/smell nicer.
HOWEVER, after the chemical reaction comes the rationalising, and the reaction to how someone behaves and what they say.
Here is the interesting part:
If someone is damn sexy but a bastard, women will still find it very hard to reject him, because the physical/chemical pull is very strong - it is elemental.
BUT
If someone isn't immediately that attractive, they CAN make themselves more appealing by being other things that a women wants.
And that is why you will see what I guess you would term Class A women with seemingly Class C guys.
I have come across a couple of guys in my time who are good examples of this. One in particular was physically really almost repulsive, I would say, but he (consciously, I think) was so intelligent and determined about making himself the most attractive guy in the room, that he created a kind of kudos about himself, and women found themselves, DESPITE their instincts, falling into his arms.
This is the kind of guy like the character John Malkovitch plays in the film 'Dangerous Liaisons' - sorry to be mean but John M himself can come across as pretty reptilian and repulsive, but he became the absolute apple of the most gorgeous woman's eye - and the strength of his pull was such that she even died because of it.
You might say that is just a film, but there are examples of it all around us. It is real.
So, in conclusion:
- Yes, a guy with average advantages can pull an A class woman, if he works out how best to manipulate her emotions. He can, in fact, make her dote on him.
I'm sure there is a load of technical info on the net somewhere about what you have to do/say to do this.
Or, you could just try being yourself and going for a woman with whom you have an immediate chemical connection within the first 13 seconds - because she also will find that very hard to resist. And it's easier than studying the art of seduction, I would guess.
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A
female
reader, jellybeans20009 +, writes (20 January 2012):
Ok so basically you're an average joe and you want to know if you can score with the hot chicks.
If you look around the world, tons of beautiful women cling on to the arms of average to below average looking guys. These guys make up for their physical short comings with other things instead. For women the very most important thing is stability. If the man cannot offer his loyalty or financial security, then he has got to at least be good looking. Unlike men, women value stability above all else. We women people believe that loyalty and a good life partner usually trumps all other aspects, but medium to high financial situations are definitely in the equation. Last comes looks. Depends on the individual woman but this is usually how it works.
If you got a good job, are fairly attractive, and you are compatible and get along with this woman, who happens to be insanely attactive, then yeah of course it's possible.
However, your question sounds like it's almost phrased as how many flings can you have with beautiful women.
In which case, you might be putting compatibility at the very bottom of your list. That would mean you would be offering very little to no stability to a woman. That would mean, you would have to compensate highly with either insanely good looks or an insanely large bank account. Does the math work out for you?
It's comparable to mediocre looking girl asking this hot guy to marry her, and they are not compatible at all. The feeling you might get if you were the guy in this situation is the same a hot girl would have if this average guy she doesn't get along with asks her out.
Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, PeanutButter +, writes (20 January 2012):
 I do not think that any 1 man could be successful with all ladies as we are all very different in our tastes/likes and a man like that, while attractive to some, might come across as arrogant to others and, therefore, a turn off.
There is someone out there for everyone, but not any 1 man for all women
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A
female
reader, Shadow Rose +, writes (20 January 2012):
 It all depends on what the woman in particular likes.
For example, the body type/clothing/sense of humor that I personally like is way different from another woman's idea of a turn-on.
Here's an example:
(completely made up)
I'm a single woman at a bar, my choices are the guy you just described, the muscled taylor lautner guy, and the creepy goth guy in the corner. I'd personally approach the goth guy in the corner, because that's my type.
(Haha, dont tell that to my boyfriend, though! actually, he's not really goth, but he's still my type!)
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