A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How do men honestly feel about attractive, good looking and even hot female friends? Many of my boyfriend's female friends are gorgeous. He has known them for several years and claims that he only has platonic relationships with them. Is it possible to really just stay purely friends with girls who are attractive? I've read somewhere that for men it's impossible to be just friends with girls whom they find attractive, and ultimately men would want to get into their pants. I know I am insecure but I just want to know if it really is possible for him to feel absolutely nothing for these girls.
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male
reader, Phsyciatrist-to-be  +, writes (30 December 2008):
 My apologies, "anon e mouse." Perhaps I should have worded my "statistic" differently.
"A TEENAGE guy (ie, sort of 15 up) thinks about sex ABOUT once every 10 seconds, ON AVERAGE."
Better? Can I ask your age? I'm 16, so I think I can vouch for that fact pretty well :)
A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse +, writes (29 December 2008):
 Yes it is possible, I have quite a few female friends and they are purely platonic. If I were interested I would've made a move.
A year ago, I ended a relationship with a girl who was jealous and insecure. She couldn't comprehend that I had been single for 5 years (and played the field a little) and got together with her. If I were interested in any of my female friends I would've made a move long before she was on the scene.
It may be difficult to believe but we do have the ability to think about other things than just sex.
"A guy thinks about sex about once every 10 seconds, on average" - What a load of rubbish. Read that in some crap text book perhaps?
No wonder you're concerned with people quoting crap statistics like that :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2008): Men can be just be friends with their girl mates,, however from experience I believe if a man is attracted to one of their girl mates they may simply think of then More than a friend
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A
male
reader, Phsyciatrist-to-be +, writes (28 December 2008):
Friendships differ in relation to the genders. Guys treat other guys differently to how they treat girls. The whole "getting into her pants" thing is what's called "a caveman urge." It's a basic instinct: to put it bluntly, men want to mate with women who seem healthy enough to support a family, and that are pleasing to the eye. It's a primitive feeling, and a guys thoughts don't generally read "wow, she's hot, I'd like to sleep with her." They usually stop at "wow, she's hot." If the guy THINKS about this fact, then he will eventually feel a desire (however small) to sleep with her. "A guy thinks about sex about once every 10 seconds, on average."
As I said, though, it is a Caveman Urge, and not to be bothered about.
So the simple answer is, yes, a guy can be friends with a girl without wanting to sleep with her, but guy-girl friendships are different to guy-guy ones.
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A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (28 December 2008):
 I think it's possible. It depends on their intent. If he's been friends with them for years, wouldn't he already have obtained access down their pants if that was his intentions? If he was interested in dating one of them, would you be dating him now or would he be with one of his long time friends?
Trust him for what he's dong now, with you. Lack of trust, when he doesn't give you a reason takes away from having the best relationship you can have. Being insecure comes from two separate areas. (1) Desire to be loved (2) Fear of loosing love.
At least he's not hiding his friendships from you. That would be an issue, but having friends may not be.
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A
male
reader, Unknown boy age 15 +, writes (28 December 2008):
Hi there
im a boy myself
i do understand where you are coming from!
hnoestly i do.
I say it depends?
i have Hot girlfriends, one's that i may flirt with, some are just good friends.
well he may feel something for the girls however he may not want to reck their friendship.
i know it isn't the best advice
but thats all i can say
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