A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I really laid it on thick with this guy who already had a girlfriend. I even made made him cheat on his girlfriend by having sex with him while they were together. They were together for two years and broke up two months ago after she caught us going at it. At the time, I laughed about it but now, I feel unbelievably guilty about it. I know what I did was wrong, but I couldn't help it; I'm actually kind of used to doing that sort of thing. I don't pride myself in it, but I've broken up about four relationships already. I've had nine male partners and two female partners and I'm 18 years old. I'm beautiful, red-headed, smart, and I've been told I'm funny as hell and I'm the best-looking thing in the world. So why should I have to punish myself by not having sex with any random guy that I want to have sex with? I don't care what other girls think of me and I actually feel good about myself knowing I have that effect on their boyfriends and guys in general. It just means they like me better, right? Why should I have to suffer? Call me a bitch or a whore but you know I'm right. I'm always right and I do always get what I want. So, once again, why should I have to suffer?
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2009): basicly, you're being used and you know it. That's why you feel so angry. These men are insecure. why date them?
Stop being so shallow.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2009): Dear reader anonymous on 20th February, I totally understand what you are saying. This lady needs help and understanding, I'm surprised that the knives have come out and shown that all people can be hurtful because it comes easier, especially when there are few consequences... People who don't care, don't feel guilt, and don't ask agony aunts for help and understanding.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2009): get over yourself woman, so you may think you are beautiful, well after reading what you had to say, i can safetly assume it is only skin deep, considering your on your own and obviously lonely enough to steal another womans partner. If you were smart, as you stated, then you would realise that the only thing you are achieving through your actions is a name for yourself. What are you going to do when the boys stop comming? fall back on your wonderful personality? ha...get your act together girlie, looks are not everything to us men, we prefer women with substance.YOU my dear sound a very self centered, and spiteful person.get some control over yourself otherwise your in for a sad and lonely life
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2009): Many people have posted 'answers' to this question! It seems that not only are you beautiful and intelligent, you also make a great screen for the projection of other people's fears! Fulfilling your violent desires can be very satisfying and many people have taken the opportunity to do so to the best of their ability here.To answer your question, you don't have to suffer, but if you didn't, you wouldn't be learning anything. Most people on the planet have a violent trained reaction to this sort of behaviour, but there isn't really anything bad about doing it. What matters is what is going on inside your mind.You're not really breaking up any relationships, everyone in the situation is making their own choices. Even if you were somehow breaking up their relationships, presumably using some form of magic, there isn't really anything necessarily bad about that either. And it doesn't necessarily mean the guys like you better at all, but that doesn't matter. What matters is what is going on inside your heart.Part of you tries to say there isn't anything wrong with what you're doing. You have your ideas about what makes sense, and about what you are. Some ideas come from some unknown place, and some ideas perhaps aren't even really ideas, but emotions. So why did I call them ideas in the first place? Because the sentence flows better that way.Your emotions are only an indicator of how well you understand things. You say that you feel guilty. Whether your self-assurances are right or not, part of you doesn't believe them. Perhaps it's all of the other people that don't like what you do, perhaps you believe on your own that it might be wrong. It could be both or something else.There may be nothing necessarily wrong with what you do - it could even be considered a good thing - but your motivations for doing it may come from misunderstanding. Explore your feelings. Find out why you do these things and why you feel bad about it, for a start.Perhaps one reason you do it is to help you feel good about your self, and it has been a good tool for helping you see what that's like, but you don't need it any more. You can thank the experience for what it has shown you and then work out how to feel good about your self again.Your emotions indicate how well you understand. When you start feeling better, you're understanding better.Good luck! But not said sarcastically or with fake nobility.
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female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (20 February 2009):
 you sound like a lost child. i will pray for your soul.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2009): You’re in a love hate relationship with your pretty little self, aren’t you? If you are always right ,why are you suffering ?
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (18 February 2009):
 I think rhythmandblues nailed it. And to answer your question, why do you have to suffer? I think you are experiencing the blowback of just a teensy tiny smidge of the suffering you have engendered. So think about this, the relationships you destroyed? Those women felt a whole lot more pain that you do right now. Maybe that will put it in perspective for you. It's a good thing to have, a little bit of perspective.
Good luck.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (18 February 2009):
 You know I think this was written by some poor, unhappy, young thing who sees all her friends have relationships and she sits home with no action. BUT on the off chance she is telling the truth...she is a bitch and a whore. Hey she said I could call her that!
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female
reader, DIE-romantic.  +, writes (18 February 2009):
 Well, by the sounds of it, you have it all pretty much figured out anyway, so why are you asking for our advise? Well no, you shouldn't have to suffer, I mean it doesn't matter about all the girls hearts you've broke and how they've suffered as long as you don't have to suffer right?
Well go for it girl :) Keep up the good work!
Just when you're all alone and all the guys have had abit of you, just think about everything you've put those poor girls through, and you'll end up feeling as bad as they felt, nobody will give you any sympathy.
And you're only 18?
Pfft, I feel sorry for those yet to meet you.
Good luck to them.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2009): I think that your very up yourself, and obviously other men are too. I think that you need to get of your high horse and stop sleeping around.
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female
reader, shortstuff4789 +, writes (17 February 2009):
 this is going to bite you in the ass someday your finally goin to find someone who you love and want to spend the rest of your life with and some little whore will do this to you. casue you will probably loose your looks eventually.good luck. its people like you that cause problems for the rest of us you sound so miserable im not sure if you piss me off or if i feel really sorry for you becasue you WILL suffer some day and your not going to know how to handel it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2009): Babes you sound so very unhappy. I know your beautiful and popular and everybody wants you. Yes I understand all of that. But I don't understand why your feeling guilty, I don't understand why your hurting so much. Where is your boyfriend or girlfriend, how come you don't want to settle down with anyone? Why do you prefer unsatisfactory sex relationships, with cheating partner's who you can never respect? Why are you feeling so low, why are you trying to hurt yourself like this? What the hell is going on in your life? Your in so much pain, and we would really like to help.
Your not stupid and your not vindictive or mean, so why are you doing these things? Why are you trying to ruin your life like this? I dare you to respond, your used to people hating you, let us show you some love, kindness and understanding.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2009): HHAHAHAH by the sounds of the words 'why do i have to suffer?' somehting you've done has turned around and bit you on ur ass. HMM let me indulge in my imagination for a bit, perhaps the guy you wanted to sleep with refused you, or the guy u slept with annoyed you because he and his girlfriend are still going strong afterwards.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2009): I pity you, trying desperately to justify what you're doing.Sad thing is, you probably already know you're easy as do the guys you're sleeping with. It's not like they want you because you're "smart and funny as hell", they want you because you're a sure thing. One day this is all gonna come back and bite you, and just think of all the people who are gonna stand around and laugh.Good luck - you're really gonna need it.
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female
reader, huneygyrl +, writes (16 February 2009):
 Your upbringing must have lacked tremedous amount of parental guidance with any positive influence. Your life will lead to a great amount of troubles and more. You will get what you deserve. I hope your sexual partners checked themselves at the local clinic..any clinic that is. You definitely should do the same. You must have have been passed around a lot and not even know it.
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female
reader, BabygurlVa2090 +, writes (16 February 2009):
 Well im not going to call you a bitch or a whore because i don't judge people that i hardly know, but do i think what you're doing is right??? NO i don't, because you broken up 4 relationships..and you know what? i'm a strong, strong believer in karma and what goes around WILL come back around.One day you might find that one guy who is the one for you and you might love him to death and he might do you like those guys did to their girlfriends by sleeping with you.I'm the same age as you are and i know where you coming from, as a woman. And in this world today, you need to have more self-respect for yourself as a girl, because you slept with 9 dudes and 2 girls and they can have AIDS, or some other kind of Stds, or u might even get pregnant. I just think you need to grow up a little bit and THINK BEFORE YOU ACT!
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female
reader, 2dancinfeetxx +, writes (16 February 2009):
i dont understand what youre asking either but i think you can use better judgement. And no, just because a guy is cheating on his gf with you does not mean he likes you better, it means that youre easy and he knows youre a quick fun. youre psychotic and you know it and thats why youre suffering. you know what youre doing is wrong and disgusting and thats why youre suffering, you need help
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male
reader, Replacement  +, writes (16 February 2009):
 "Clearly you won't be making friends or having long term friendships with women, but yes, guys do like a little tail on the side, for the most part, only a foolish man would turn down a willing sex object, especially as hot as you sound."
Pvtguy, you have some serious issues if you are referring to women as "willing sex objects". And please don't try to make women associate all guys with your belief system. I've been a cheating guy before, and I certainly wasn't any better off for it, I was a selfish and immature little shithead at the time who thought women were good for nothing more than sex. Hopefully one day you'll grow up like I did, you'll be happier and a better man once you realize that being in a committed relationship is much more satisfying without hunting for "tail on the side".
As to the original poster- if you want to sleep with men, go for it, but do you have to make a game out of trying to convince partnered men to sleep with you? As you are young (I assume closer to 18 than 21 judging by your tone) and clearly extremely immature for your age, I expect that one day you'll grow tired of playing cat and mouse with weak-willed men. And then you might look back on these days and wish you had aspired for something more than being a little "tail on the side" for horndogs like pvtguy. Aim higher!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2009): Far from being angry, I take great pity in the OP.You have had such a sychphantic upbringing.How will you react when you enounter a man/woman you want and he/she refuses all your pitiful attempts at seduction?DO have any idea how sad you will look when you chase after someone who has no interest in you, because you feel you DESERVE anyone you choose.You will eventually pay for your callousness. It may not be for years or even decades, but it WILL happen because someone will wise up to your bullshit.Or you will wake up one day and realise how empty and alone you really are, even in the arms of some moron you met at a club.Then your body will be used up and you will have lost all the looks you seem to think make you so special. Having neglected tp develop a personality that someone might actually like, you will be left a dull and pitiful shell of a woman.You think you are suffering now?Continue how you are and I guarantee you will run out of road and fall into an abyss some day. ALl us decent people have to do is wait and see.And for such a fate, I pity you.Of course you could just go and get help and figure out why it is you cannot seem to progress beyong the physicality of a relationship and why you so intently seek out relationships that are doomed from the start (affairs and such).Again. For your inability to find and/or feel or express love in any form (sex is not love. Sex is pleasure... at it's most potent and incredible when the people involved are actually in love with each other).I hope someday you might feel regret and remorse and shame at the type of person you are now... but I can only hope.Flynn 24
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2009): Rythmandblues2: THAT WAS PERFECT! Besides the fact that it was reminicent of my dearly departed ex husband...I enjoyed every word! When I answered this girls post...I struggled with what I wanted to say...she brought up such anger in me! And now I know why...she's a sociopath just like my ex was!
Pvtguy: no, you don't wish you knew someone like her when you were 18...she probably would've scarred you for life. She only wants to use people, and bask in her wreckage!
Thank you both for your great answers! You made my night! As for the one with the sort of question...I have nothing to say! Actually I don't think she really had a question. I think she wanted to let us know she's beautiful! LOL
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2009): lol You are a bitch. You are completely full of yourself and can't realize this guys just want you because you're an easy piece of meat. You give it up easy and they can read that a mile away. lol It's hilarious how you think you are so good looking when, by the sounds of it, you are just some freckled freak.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2009): SOCIOPATH You have some of these characteristics?
Without conscience
Glib and superficial charm
Manipulative and Conning
They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims.
Grandiose Sense of Self
Feels entitled to certain things as "their right."
Pathological Lying
Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests
Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt
A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way.
Shallow Emotions
When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises.
Incapacity for Love
Need for Stimulation
Living on the edge. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal. Promiscuity and gambling are common
Callousness/Lack of Empathy
Unable to empathize with the pain of their victims, having only contempt for others' feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them.
Irresponsibility/Unreliability
Not concerned about wrecking others' lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed.
Other Related Qualities:
Contemptuous of those who seek to understand them
Does not perceive that anything is wrong with them
Authoritarian
Secretive
Paranoid
Only rarely in difficulty with the law, but seeks out situations where their tyrannical behavior will be tolerated, condoned, or admired
Conventional appearance
Goal of enslavement of their victim(s)
Exercises despotic control over every aspect of the victim's life
Has an emotional need to justify their crimes and therefore needs their victim's affirmation (respect, gratitude and love)
Ultimate goal is the creation of a willing victim
Incapable of real human attachment to another
Unable to feel remorse or guilt
Extreme narcissism and grandiose
May state readily that their goal is to rule the world
Goal is to have willing victims
Primary Motivation is to Win the Game
Without Conscience
Has no remorse over hurting others
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2009): Why exactly did you even come on this website and let the world know what you have been doing? We're not here to help you feel good about yourself, when you go and do the things you have; and you feel no remorse about it. The way you go on, saying you've been told, you're the best looking thing in the world, makes it seem like you really are not. It just seems like you feel so damn insecure about yourself, you just decided to write this, hoping to get some kind of good reaction from people, saying what you're doing is right. Sorry sweetie, that ain't gonna happen...at least not from me.And you know what, go ahead and have sex with any guy you want. In the end, you are the one who's going regret it. Like britt429 said, Maybe you should visit your local county hospital, take a tour of the Aids ward, and then ask yourself why shouldn't I have sex with every random person I meet?Even then if you don't care. You deserve what's coming to you in the end.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2009): Just remember, what goes around comes around...payback is a bitch! I can't imagine getting such happiness hurting people. You know, some day your looks will fade and then what?
Maybe you should visit your local county hospital, take a tour of the Aids ward, and then ask yourself why shouldn't I have sex with every random person I meet?
You started out by saying you feel guilty but then defended yourself and your behavior...who are you trying to convince?
I don't really get what your questions is. You ended by asking why should you have to suffer. What suffering have you had? From your posting it sounds that you are causing the suffering, and laughing about it. What is your point? That you don't have to be kind to people cause you can get whatever you want and you are beautiful.
I'm sorry, but I just don't get what you are asking us.
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