A
female
age
41-50,
*rwneyes2010
writes:Hey all,Iam a happily marrieed woman but I have one problem. The problem is with my brother in law. This started a while back before I got married. I was suppose to meet my BIL at a party in 06 that was arrangged by a family member, but he didn't show up at that time, instead I met my now husband who Iam very much in love with. The problem is my BIL makes these remarks, that I think is very inappropriate. For example weeks after I had gotten married he said to me "If I had married him instead I would have lived in the house he had purchased". My husband is not as rich as him . This past week he made another remark a family dog licked me on my ( b***)and he said " he wishes he was the dog". Please help me how should i deal with this. The sad thing is when he makes these comments he says them in front of his parents without my husband being there in the room. He has said a lot of stuff in the past and I won't mention it here. How should I handle this without sounding paranoid.Thanks Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, brwneyes2010 +, writes (10 December 2010):
brwneyes2010 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey all,
Thanks for helping me. I will be going to a chrismas part on the 24 and 25th at my husband's parents house. I will let you guys know what happens. What is funny is that his brother doesn't even live in the same town and he says things whenever he comes over for family visits. I am really glad that he doesn't live in the same city as us. If i count the whole time i met the guy like 20 times and he says all these things. I don't even know him that well.I think he is jealous of my husband because i picked him.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2010): be straight forward nothing will happen, it looks like spoiling your relationship and be open with your husband he will deal it well.
...............................
A
male
reader, Snowshoe  +, writes (8 December 2010):
 I have to agree with the other writers on this.
Don't let him be a bully. If his own parents won't tell him to act appropriatly you have to. I think if you haven't spoken to your husband about this it is time you did.
He should be aware that his brother is being a Perv towards you and that it is unacceptable. Another option may be a quiet word with his mom about his comments. However, he doesn't sound like someone who respects women so that might be usless.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 December 2010):
 Paranoia has got nothing to do with it, in the sense that it does not really matter whether he says these things because he is attracted to you or because he has a bad sense of humour. The point is, he is being crass , and he is making crass jokes at your expenses, and you have no obligation to accept it.
Any time he says something inappropriate to you, don't cringe or blush or be intimidated, just look straight into his face and tell him : This is gross. Stop it .
It may take a few repetitions, but eventually he'll get it.
...............................
A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (8 December 2010):
Be curt with him. When he says "If you had married me instead you would have lived in the house I purchased". Well, tell him that one of the reasons you married your husband is because atleast to him it doesn't come down to money, but love. When he says: "he wishes he was the dog" tell him: "And I wish you would stop trying to be funny because you're not particularly good at it."
You don't have to be nice to him, even though your manners tell you to. He has the upperhand right now because he's a douche and you're a nice girl. So don't be nice to him. Stand up for yourself and your husband when he's not around to defend himself. And if he says something you don't have a quick rebuttal for, just tell him you don't have time for his nonsense and that maybe the kids at the other side of the road would be more amused.
...............................
|
