A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year. I love him so much. He's my best friend and we do everything together. I have an issue though. I seem to get satisfaction out of flirting with other people and leading them on and talking to them sexually. I got caught a while ago doing this and my boyfriend wanted to break up with me. He found out I was talking to this other guy who wanted to go clubbing with me and how I would talk to him all the time. I cried and literally begged for him not to leave me to the point where he forgave me and we moved on. I promised I wouldn't do it again but those temptations are coming back now. I'm scared I'm going to lose my boyfriend. I really do love him but I just don't understand why I'm like this. I don't want to be like this. Advice?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (8 December 2010):
 Your too young to commit yourself to dating only one man. You want to have choice and opportunities, and you when your with other men, naturally you want to feel attractive and wanted. Yes you love your boyfriend, and yes you like him and he's your best friend, but you are very aware, your life will be long and your unlikely to marry the first guy you date.
Best to leave your boyfriend and be his best friend and date casually and give yourself the chance to experience all that life has to offer.
You will not change, and that's ok, because your very young and your still curious and adventurous. Pity really, it's always hard when we fall in love too young. Maybe you and your boyfriend stand a chance if you get back together when your older.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2010): Flirting does one thing, it advertises our availability.
You are doing that.
You are advertising that you don't want to be committed, so break off the commitment and be fair to the other half.
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A
male
reader, FreshPrince  +, writes (8 December 2010):
Im not one to judge at all but this may have something to do with your ego. we all like to be liked and by receiving positive, even sexual feedback from someone of the opposite sex, can give you a sense of fulfillment. Obviously getting the attention of guys will make you feel good. But if you really love your guy, these encounters wil mean nothing to you. You will fantacise about other people when in a relationship. it is nieve to think otherwise. People dont instantly become unattractive to you. It is exciting to flirt with others and very exciting in terms of sexual confrontation. Imagine they find out though, this might help you see your fault. I bet 10 out of 10, you felt guilt for talking flirtatiously with this other guy when caught, where as if not caught you would have continued to do so. There is nothing wrong with wanting to feel liked. But loyalty is not easy, and i stress that. Your desires for other people will only grow.Indulgence in these desires will cause them to subside for a while but will only return.They will need to be conquered, for a sucessful, honest relationship. As much as you love him, you may not be ready for a relationship.Needless to say, there are many people out there, your young, and there is a whole world to explore. Having been in a relationship 4 years, on and off, i still keep my eyes open and heart open towards other people as im sure she does too. This guy you want to go clubbing with may be the next guy. only you can decide what his intentions and your feelings are.Noone here can tell you that. Either way i wish you the best of luck and hope you feel happy with every step along the way
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