A
female
age
30-35,
*taarshine
writes:Ok, I recently found out that my boyfriend has been going on this website called [name removed but suggests pictures with no clothes on]... ALL THE TIME!.He wont reply to my texts, he doesn't talk to me, i feel like he has emotionally withdrawn from me. We live together so i can see and feel him withdrawing from me. I tried to talk to him about it today, and he said he doesnt care whether i break up with him or not.. like wtf?? then on the way out.. he says maybe this relationship is going south.. i said whose fault is that.. he said it was his.. and left. I'm so confused? does he want out of our relationship? should i dump him? i don't know what to do anymore. he says he loves me when i say i love him. and just after he left, he sent me a text with a heart in it. So dearly confused.
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female
reader, samismiles  +, writes (29 January 2011):
It sounds like he wants out of the relationship and he's trying to get you to break up with him, and to be fair it sounds like you could do so much better than essentially a boy with an overactive crotch with an attitude problem. The living together issue can be resolved easily I've seen plenty people break up who lived together there are always options. Give yourself a break from his nastiness and get out of that awful relationship. Eventually you'll find someone better, it wouldn't be difficult by the sounds of things. Good Luck, chin up
A
male
reader, HelpyMcHelperson +, writes (26 January 2011):
From what you said it seems that he really doesn't care and I'd recomend that you find someone who does.
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A
male
reader, The Realist +, writes (24 January 2011):
 He still may care about you but I think he is addicted to that site. I went and checked it out and saw that it is an interactive cam site. He may be addicted to having these girls focus on him because there may be tips involved for them. It's actually quite easy to become addicted to this sort of thing because it is such an interactive form of porn that really is the closest way to get to another girl wothout cheating.
If you still love him than go at this in a very sensitive matter and see if you can get him to admit that it is an addiction and see if he can get help. It's an addiction with the same withdrawl symtoms as any other one so it will be a process to go through but it sounds like there is part of him that wants to quit. If he won't then I wouldn't stay with him but right now you are the best person that can help him.
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (24 January 2011):
 hi
it sounds as though he may not actively be trying to get out but he is happy to let the relationship slide until you decide you have totally had enough and you dump him. this is cowardly. he wants out but he wants you to end it.
he is not showing you any love, aside from the porn (lots of men enjoy porn and it doesn't necessarily make them bad people) he may be 'saying' he loves you (just words) and sending you a text with a heart in it after he has walked out on you? please! honey you might have been impressed by that but i wouldn't have been!
if a man LOVES you, he SHOWS you, not just tells you. read your post back to yourself, what do you honestly conclude from his behaviour?
xx
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A
female
reader, la la land  +, writes (23 January 2011):
 Jeez guys are so confusing sometimes!! But it does sound likes he cares about u. Maybe he's embarrassed about the porn. It's really not a bad thing to look at porn. But if its bothering you, tell him that you understand he has sexual needs and remind him that you do too. Maybe you could watch porn with him to make sex more intense. Good luck hun
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A
female
reader, SweetSmoochy +, writes (23 January 2011):
 It kind of seems like he wants out. You guys need to talk and decide whether you should break up or try to work things out with each other. Maybe there are buried issues involved.
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