A
female
age
30-35,
*arknessandmist
writes:I am 20 and my breasts have been sagging since I was 18, when I lost a lot of weight. My boyfriend has for quite a long time been asking me(frequently) if I could get a breast lift done in the future. As of now I don't have the money but should I consider this in the future? Is he being reasonable? I know I look bad because of the drooping boobs but I don't feel comfortable with the idea of getting surgery done. I have told him this but I know he finds the boobs really unattractive and I suppose most other guys would find it a dealbreaker.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2009): HiSo, you got advice from your trainer. That's great! And yeah, listen to all these lovely people. Your sagging breasts aren't really the root of the problem here, it is the attitude of your boyfriend towards you and your body. You are too young to even think of surgery here. And I think that you have focused so much on your breasts. I honestly don't think that your breasts are as saggy as you think. BTW, do you know that the location of the nipples plays a great role in determining the perkiness of your breasts or that the location of your mammary glads also play a vital role in how high your breasts look. Ideally, the location of your breasts should fall below your mid-arm, ok. BTW, you never mentioned how busty you are, because that too plays a role. I am well-endowed, naturally, I am more rounder than perky. Also, please do not think of surgery as a permanent solution. Any breast surgery only lasts upto 10years. That too if you take extremely good care of it and the surgeon really knew his job. That cuts out anything to do with running or really sporty! So, you see, at your age, surgery is not a viable solution. Look, I think you have bought what your boyfriend has been suggesting... that you will look better if you get under the knife. I think that if he truly loved you, he'd make you feel beautiful and convince you of it! That is how love works. If you change your body for him, you might end up expecting more (even if subconsciously). What if he leaves you in spite of all that. It isn't unheard of you know. If he loves you, he loves all of you. Period. If not, then there really is little point in your investing more in a relationship. Would he do the same for you? Would he change the way he looks if you wanted it? Have you told him how his suggestions make you feel? Perhaps he doesn't know the anxiety he is causing you. Boys tend to be that way. And if he still keeps insisting... you know best what to do. Look, get the surgery if you must, but do them for the right reasons. Like, do them for yourself. Because you would love yourself a little more after the surgery. But before doing any of this... think it through. After having worked in advertising for so long, I know that glamor isn't at all what it's made to be. Surgery often leaves extremely ugly scars, you don't see them because they are airbrushed. Anyway, do what you must... only do them for the right reasons and take an informed decision. Cheer :)
A
female
reader, BehindThese HazelEyes  +, writes (22 September 2009):
 Honey if he dont like you for who you are....then you dont need him...congratulations on your weight loss...i had an ex who told me if i lost 20 lbs and cleared up my acne, id be a perfect 10! and im 5'7, 150 lbs...for my height thats average! I dumped him! screw that, im not going to let a man talk to me like that! You have to be happy with yourself, if you are, then dont worry what other people think!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2009): Dont worry about what your boyfriend thinks, you have got to learn to love your body and he has to learn to do that too...what you want in the future you do but if your doing it because your partner wants you to then dont give in after all its your body you do what you like to it
hope ive helped gd luck xxx
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (21 September 2009):
Of course he's not being reasonable! He either likes you as you are, or that's it. You shouldn't have to change for him. The idea of a boyfriend is that he LIKES YOU for who you are. Find a better guy. xx
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A
female
reader, darknessandmist +, writes (21 September 2009):
darknessandmist is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyes, I went to the gym and got advice from my trainer over the last year.
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A
female
reader, Rose_red_09 +, writes (21 September 2009):
Only have surgery if its something that you want....its a big step and you should be doing or for you....I know that you have said that you have tried exercises and creams etc - but have you tried a gym where you could maybe get a qym instructor to advise and help?? A friend of mine is doing this at the mo and it's working wonders!!!
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A
female
reader, ffogalilly +, writes (21 September 2009):
If he wants you to have surgery, ask him if he is going to pay for it. I would try Clariss suggestions, I just think what he is saying to you is rude.
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A
female
reader, darknessandmist +, writes (21 September 2009):
darknessandmist is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have tried all kinds of exercises and creams for over a year, but nothing has worked.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (21 September 2009):
If you want surgery at some point in your life then that's up to you.
I know it's something I may well consider when I get a bit older and have more cash as mine have been big and are starting to head south now I'm hitting my later 20's.
But for him to be asking you to change.... that is unacceptable I'm afraid. ESPECIALLY to nag you about it.
It needs to be a case of love me = love my boobs.
Tell him you may get surgery ONE DAY, but that is as far as it's going to go for now and if he doesn't shut up about it then you'll know he's a shallow moron who doesn't really love you.
This should never be about you keeping him, it should be about him showing you enough love and respect yo be allowed to stay in your life.
Good Luck!! xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2009): Hi
Have you tried wearing extra strong bras with underwire? They are a great support for your breast. Also, doing breast pull-ups etc help lift the chest muscles and make the breasts perky again. Yoga is good too. Try to get some free info by just googling for "breast presses" or "breast crunces" or "chest press". I'm sure you'll find help. It will take 3months for some visible changes though. In the mean time, if your boyfriend presses you too much, lose him, before he completely destroys your sagging self-esteem.
Cheers : )
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