A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met this guy recently while I was travelling overseas in Germany. He came over to me and said for some reason he just felt the need to talk to me. We hit it off just fine and spent the day and night together hanging out. He wanted me to stay longer but unfortunately I had to keep moving to the next city the following day because I'd already booked everything ahead. We've stayed in touch now that I'm back in Australia, he calls about once a week or so. He told me he thinks he loves me and admits himself it sounds crazy having spent so little time together. I've never really been a believer in love at first sight, and I told him although I have feelings for him, I don't love him but I'd like to get to know him better. He's keen to catch up either here or there when the time and funds are right. Living on different sides of the world obviously isn't the most ideal circumstance, but I admit I'm generally useless in relationships and for some reason push people away whenever they show feelings towards me. Anyway, the other night I had way too much vodka and got to an ultra special state of drunk... In my haze, I decided to do a bit of drunk dialling. I have absolutely no idea what shit was dribbling out of my mouth. I sent him a message the next day apologising for calling so wasted. He sent back "you were very drunk yesterday but we will talk soon. Have a good day and free your mind" English isn't his first language and I'm probably reading into it too much, but I hope I didn't say anything to screw it up. It's only now I'm starting to realise how strong my feelings are towards him. Am I fucking crazy for even pursuing this? Any advice is appreciated.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2013): Thanks for the responses. CMMP, that's nice to know that someone has been in a (sort of?) similar situation, and that it worked out nicely. Haha So Very Confused, I like that you do admit I'm crazy, but oh well life is short. To be perfectly honest, I'm a little over living in the same place, this doesn't necessarily mean I'm ready to pack my bags and move to Germany, even I'm not THAT crazy. I'm sure the crap I was talking on the phone the other night had something to do with the fact that we need to get each other better before any type of commitment, because he's spoken to me about maybe moving to Australia and I completely agree living with a stranger definitely may not be the best scenario.Sage Old Guy, yeah we slept together. Please don't judge, it's not normally my style to sleep with random strangers, but what's happened has happened. How did this change the answer in your opinion?Thanks again for the quick responses.
A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (9 January 2013):
I met my wife when I was staying in Guatemala for 5 months, but for us it was a lot easier to have a relationship because I was there for awhile so we got to know each other pretty well, she also had a visa to live in the US because she was going to college here (she was taking a quarter off to visit her sick mother).
So we didn't have to make a huge commitment (marriage) for her to come back to the US. We dated for awhile, then decided to get married.
In other words, it worked for us because we had very few obstacles. In your case I see too many obstacles and not enough history with him. I don' think you're crazy, but I think that you shouldn't be exclusive with him at this point. Get to know him through Skype and if your feelings grow you can make plans to meet somewhere that's inexpensive for the two of you to fly to (Kazakhstan?) in order to further your friendship.
A LDR usually has to have a plan for it to work. In your case I think a plan is a little too premature.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 January 2013):
 yep you are crazy. but crazier things have happened.
let's start with the goal of an LDR... what is the goal?
the GOAL of the LDR is to NOT be in an LDR.
so to that end... you have to spend enough time together to decide if ONE of you is willing to give up their entire life and move to be with the other one.... is that EVEN an option for you guys? IF NOT, well then that's your answer.
You can't be LDR for very long and make it work...
I would say that 2 years max of being LDR would work... and that's to get everything settled and make the move.....
then you would have to have two places because being this far LDR means you will have very little contact and may find out that living together with this stranger won't work.
you need the following things for an LDR To work:
honesty
trust
communication
commitment
loyalty
regular visits (at least 4 a year, can you afford that?)
and finally a plan to end the distance....
figure out if you even can afford this before you want to try...
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (9 January 2013):
 I my opinion, there is really only ONE "question" about your submittal.... That is: Did you put out for him when you and he "...hit it off just fine and spent the day and night together...."
You can get widely different responses based upon the answer to that question....
Hope to "hear" from you.....
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