A
female
age
30-35,
*una91
writes:My boyfriend moved to uni, 200 miles from me.. ever since his been down ther ive always asked him to come down or ill go down to him.. its been 5months since he left and in that time ive only seen him twice...ive spoken to him about this and he just says im at work all the time and uni.. but he has changed alot.. he drinks alot and is always out clubin.. this is why i get mad at him because he has time to do that.. but neva time to see me.. these last couple of weeks have been alful.. i miss him so much but he dont really care.. i stated hanging out with my mate more and we are close, i see him all the time.. but i dont want to lose my bf.. my mate makes me so happy at the moment more than my bf.. what should i do? luna x
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (23 February 2011):
Both posts below are correct. You have lost your boyfriend, and you are already growing closer to this 'mate'. Seems like the time has come for you to move on.
A
male
reader, firstlovelastlove  +, writes (23 February 2011):
 "i stated hanging out with my mate more and we are close, i see him all the time.." sounds to me you genuinely enjoy the company of your "mate".
"he drinks alot and is always out clubin" "he has time to do that.. but neva time to see me" "i dont want to lose my bf" I don't think you "lost" your boyfriend I think he just left.
"my mate makes me so happy at the moment" "what should i do?" I think you should continue to have fun with your mate and forget the bf. Best of luck to you both!
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A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (23 February 2011):
 Your "mate" is making a move on you. You're an easy target right now. You're missing your BF who's not going to be able to be with you due to distance. It's textbook!
LDR's don't work, and this is why. I think you should end things with your BF. This isn't going to get better because it seems he has no interest in changing his behavior.
Read Cerberus's post in this thread: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-ldr-girlfriend-has-just-logged-off-chat.html
I guarantee you'll see what your "mate" is doing in a different perspective.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (23 February 2011):
 I'm afraid you have ALREADY lost your boyfriend, by the sound of it, so that's one less thing you have to worry about.
I know that's hurtful and disappointing, but there isn't a whole lot you can do about it. It's not as if you haven't raised the question of why he doesn't make time to see or phone you, after all.
If you enjoy your friend's company, then why not continue to spend time hanging out with him? No reason in the world not to. Having said that though, I'd still recommend you take things slow with your best mate. What's the rush?
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A
female
reader, lucy.whittaker +, writes (23 February 2011):
 Hi Luna,
I'm in a long distance relationship at the moment, so my advice to you will go against what I believe for myself, but by the sound of it this isn't working for either of you. The problem with going away to University is it changes you - whether you want it to or not. Unfortunately he doesn't seem to be mature enough to work out that he needs to make a decision. To either be with you and to make an effort to make it work, or to end it now and agree that long distance doesn't work for you both.
Because you are the one who recognizes that there is a problem then you're going to have to be the one to do something about it. There are a number of ways you could approach things, but I would have to suggest the hardest route. To talk to him properly, to not get mad with him but to explain that if he doesn't put more of an effort in then you have to end it. It's not fair on you to put yourself through it, and this friend you have might just be the rebound you need, maybe even a future relationship. But unless he agrees to change then you need to realise that you really deserve someone who appreciates you. It might be a case that he's got so caught up in his new life that he hasn't realised how hard it is on you, but by the sound of it he has changed from the person you used to know and love. Unfortunately I hope that it's the latter, only because however much it hurts in the short term, you deserve more than this man is giving you. If there is someone who could make you happy now then embrace it. Even if he does change his ways, long distance is terrible at the best of times (I should know!)
Good Luck,
Lucy XxX
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