A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:im friends with my ex ...i am genuine about my friendship and she matters to me a lot as a friend ...but her friends and wellwishers are against this friendship and tell her to break it off because they dont believe in it ...she says she is on my side come what may but i really want her to respect and willingness from her true heart ....i want her to come and say that we can be the best of friends and not just talk for the old times sake ...what can i do about it to earn more respect and make it the honest and sweetest friendship because we really share a special space...i mean i want to listen from her mouth and she genuinely should stand by me...i know we shouldnt be sharing too much closure though
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female
reader, a spades a spade +, writes (20 August 2009):
hey.
its def possible to be friends with an ex, its just not the easiest thing to do.
maybe wanting to be best of friends is a bit optimistic at the moment. i am good friends with some of my exes but its taken time to get there...
just be patient, if your too full on about it then that will just give the pessimist more ammunition.
A
female
reader, Original shiraz! +, writes (20 August 2009):
You always have to be steady with the ex theres no harm in being friends but you have to reach a certain point where you both realise thats it. Obviously you have a connection and a lot of people are close with the ex, its when they move on settle down, get married etc that it becomes an issue. Her friends are so set against it as they live by the rules of an ex is an ex for a reason.. etc, they believe this as a way of protecting their friend from the same mistake girls are close like this and the more you push for her to prove it the more doubt youll put in both her mind and her friends.
Its just like a guy talking his mate around getting back with the ex it simply works that way, nobody likes to see one they love get hurt again.
She has chosen to stay friends with you, shes gone against her friends opinions and is remaing close with you dont push that, respect it and be happy with it.
Have you ever thought that how she feels and if its genuine could mean that you still like her?
Shes staying close to you for whatever reason she shouldnt have to prove it, be happy with it and move on from it the more you dwell on it the more itll affect you moving forward. Leave the past in the past and start finding your future. You should be enjoying your life more than worrying about something that you cant control.
If she didnt want to know you any more shed of left as soon as you split. She obviously thinks more of you than that.
Move on and start enjoying her friendship, dont question the minor details they take over and the friendship will be wruined, you dont want that i can see so just enjoy it for what it is
best of luck
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A
female
reader, helpless_honey  +, writes (20 August 2009):
Hey Bebe,
I am friends with my ex boyfriend of years and I just got married! My husband understands that we are only friends and even let my ex live with us for 3 months... You have to prove to yourself and her that you two will never have any feelings more than friends. I talk to my ex about everything and anything. He tells me stories of girls he's dating and everything. You just need to make sure that you two are fully over eachother and then who cares what other people think. If she is a good friend, she will let her friends know there is no feelings between you and her more than a friendship. I let my friends know and my husband know that as well and everyone is fine with it... including my family.. hope this helps. x0x0x0
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A
male
reader, Six_Floors_Left  +, writes (20 August 2009):
 Most people are against being friends with your ex because either the relationship ended badly and you wouldn't be friends to begin with or it ended with the idea of remaining friends. When this happens usualy one or both of the people involved will still have lingering feelings for their ex. This usualy will end in one person still liking their ex and one person not, which would kill the friendship. or you will both still like eachother and the flame will reignite. This may sound like a good thing, which on rare occasions it can be, but most often the relationship will end fast for the same reasons it ended in the first place. So in my opinion you shouldnt make it the most "honest and sweetest friendship" unless you think there's a chance that you can get back togather with her and stay togather. Hope this helps some!
-SFL
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