A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:How do women gain more confidence in themselves? I always thought if you got a good education, found a good job, made decent money, were fairly happy with your appearance, you would have confidence. But I don't. It's almost like, your either born with it or you're not. I know some of the most beautiful women, who are terribly insecure. In my opinion, they have perfect bodies, but think they're fat; they have beautiful hair, but find every flaw with it. And I am no exception. My parents didn't raise me like this, so what is my problem? Unforunately like alot of women, I find myself with men who don't always treat me well, or I settle for someone "safe" who really isn't my type because I hate being alone and worry that I can't get someone better. What's a gal to do???
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female
reader, r0ckah0l1c  +, writes (21 August 2009):
It sounds strange but I went by the phrase "fake it 'til you make it" and really pretended to love myself and be confident in front of others which eventually resulted in my beginning to see the unique beauty in myself
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (20 August 2009):
 Stop being dependant on someone else for your own happiness.
Because the insecurities that you really focus on and the consequence of your own insecurities all come down to one simple thing.
MEN.
And men, at least the kind of men insecure women are attracted PREY on that insecurity, re-inforce it.
An insecure woman will only ditch a man for another man and if she feels insecure enough, she will never think another man would want her.
A confident woman would ditch a man the moment he shows to be the wrong kind. She won't care about wether she has another man to run to, she doesn't need one to be happy.
Look at your own line. "I always thought if you got a good education, found a good job, made decent money, were fairly happy with your appearance, you would have confidence."
All the ingredients for single happiness are there, the only thing you worry about is your looks.
If you want confidence then go for a year without dating ANYONE and learn to enjoy being your own person. Stop depending on a guy to make you happy. As long as you do, you will go for the wrong kind.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2009): Hi there, i am a female so I can relate to what you are saying. Unfortunately society shapes us very often into vain creatures, who worry too much about our looks, and men know this (especially marketing men trying to sell products, thats why the airbrushed adverts look so good!!!)
Please, try to focus on what talents you have, this is old fashioned but believe it or not, if you can show people what talents you have besides looks, they will take you more seriously and give you respect, which in turn should give you more confidence. Take it from me, you need to focus LESS on looks!!!!!!!!
they are temporary anyway, when u start to get lines on ur face or grey hair u will think back to the time u worried over nothing. (and i dont have lines yet but it wont be long so im being kind to myself now while i still look youngish !!!!)
take care of yourself, learn a new hobby or skill, enjoy life, its for living honey, all the best.
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A
female
reader, Starlights  +, writes (20 August 2009):
 Everyone has insecurities.
This is normal and part of life.
I do feel however, women of confidence have a strength that which comes from within, its that power of knowing they are different, unique, and beautiful, they dont latch onto what everyone else is doing or thinking.
The best thing you can do is love yourself for who you are, never settle for 2nd best in a guy, and dont be so fearful.
if your fearful of life your never going to get what you want.
if your bold and confident with your life, your life will conform to you.
Good luck!
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