A
female
age
26-29,
*indy12
writes:Hey I'm 15 and i really want a baby I'm an honour student and I'm responsible.I have thought about this so many times before, about how am i going to work with school. My friends say that I would make a great mother because I'm caring and sweet towards children and have a great societyto raise it in. Everytime i see a baby i just imagine myself with one and it makes me jealous. I have been saving money for a great few years. When i'n the shops I can't just walk past the cute tiny baby clothes. I have a nephew and a cousin both 2 and when I'm outisde with them people always walk past looking at me and saying how much i pay attention to the kids and they wish me luck with the next one.I have asked my mother what they think if i got pregnant at 16 and she said that she would be mad at the first day and then she will think of how responsible i am and then help me, and about my stepdad he would be mad at the guy who did it not me. and about that my mother said that she would sue my boyfriend if he got me pregnant i don't undrestand why because it would be my chouice not his and he is willing to help witht he baby and the fianances. since i was 8 a baby was all i wanted and now when i can manage why not? but i have a feeling that some people think other wise and i want to know what do you think? Do you think i should get pregnant at the age of 16? it would help me a lot to know your opinon.
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female
reader, deirdre +, writes (13 August 2011):
are you kidding me? your 15, & you probably only did your junior cert this year, and you think you can look after a baby aswell as school and work?? you do realise there is no work in Ireland? so presumably you expect to get social welfare for your selfishness and irresponsibility. there are enough people in Ireland living on the system without more kids having kids. finish your school, get a job, live your life and go travelling. THEN think about things like this because at 15 your still a child.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2011): I'm 18 and I have felt that many times I have wanted a baby... but it is best to wait a few years. I would prehaps leave it until after higher education- such as college or sixth form and see if you want to have a career that involves University. By the time you would finish Uni you would be in your early 20's, so its not too long to wait. I also think you need to be in a steady relationship before you have a child. I think you will have a lot more to give to a baby if you have a baby in a few years rather than have one now. I hope this helps :)
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2011): See if you can find one single person who got pregnant at your age and does not regret it by the time they are 18-20. Think about this. I'm not asking for a consensus that agrees with you. I'm only asking for ONE example of someone who does not completely disagree with you. Hindsight is ALWAYS going to say don't do it and there is a reason for that.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2011): The fact of the matter is that many girls have this desire to have a child. However, you need to think very carefully what would happen to both you and your child if you were to have a baby. At such a young age you would essentially destroy your future. You would not be able to go seek a higher education and you probably would have a very difficult time finishing up high school. As a result, you will probably be stuck in a minimum wage paying job for the rest of your life. In essence, you will have to work harder than you have ever worked before just to allow your child to have a glimmer of hope at being successful. Oh, and even then you will need financial assistance from others. Lastly, is that how you want to raise a child, having to completely depend upon others? As a parent you should be completely independent and able to fully provide for your children.
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female
reader, misfitschik66  +, writes (1 August 2011):
ahhh! no! when i was 16 i wanted a baby too and i even went ahead and got myself pregnant ,I miscarried and i hate to say it but THANK GOD!!!
i'm 22 now married and i am not with the same guy i got pregnant with when i was 15 i matured since and left him when i was 18..he just wasn't "for me" anymore
The crazy thing is i don't want kids anymore no desire what so ever at all and if i do eventually i really just want to wait until i have done everything I want to do
I have a great job managing a store i just got married 2 months ago and I own my own home and vehicle..
if i had of had that child when i was 16 i know for a fact i would not have been married by now i would not have probably had a job(let alone the position i have now) i would not of been able to afford a vehicle or home and i would have been raising that child with someone i don't love anymore or raising it on my own..i would even probably still be living with my mother! and i probably would have never met the man i am married too now the thought.. IS HORRIBLE!
it was a fazz in my life and i was so "ready" and "responsible enough" to have a baby. but in reality i wasn't and i was about to ruin my entire future
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2011): My little sister had a baby at 18. She is a fantastic mum, is still with her partner, and live in a council flat. They have never had any time alone and she is beginning to find it difficult now the baby is a toddler. You may be the most responsible person in the world. But wouldn't you like the chance to experiences all your 'firsts' before you have a baby? Your first flat your first legal drink in a pub... There are so many, and you have your whole life. Think hard first.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2011): Just found out a girl I go to school with who is 16 like yourself is having a baby! This girl thinks its great! She gets top priority at the dole line! My mom is a childminder and runs a montesorri school! so Im around kids all the time! I personally never want kids as I dont have the patience for them I find babysitting incredibly stressful but that could be just me! Anyways your not even legal to have sex yet by Irish law! Concentrate on your studies! My mom had myself and my twin at 18..Her life practically ended. she had no social life she had to drop out of college,my grandparents kicked her out. A baby is a huge thing! Your bringing another life into this world!
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (1 August 2011):
 You already know the answer to this one. But, in all sincerity, I'll be honest with you. Teenagers shouldn't have babies for a number of reasons. Most common reason being that they aren't ready, in any means. Mentally you aren't ready, even if you think so. The later you wait the better, so have the wisdom and knowledge on how to get by in the world on your own two feet without asking your own mom and dad for help.
You said you asked your parents what they would think? If you were ready, mature, and had everything sorted out, why would you ask what your parents would think? I'm 25 and I don't think I need to ask my mom "hey, what would you think if I got preggers?" Because Im an adult. And I don't need to ask permission. Don't you think... if you want to be a mother you should also be an adult first?
Then, practical things... You live with your parents I take it, and you are dependent on them. You said you saved up money, but do you pay for your own food, electricity, water, rent, gas, car insurance etc? Maybe all that money you saved up would be put to better use when you decide to move out on your own and learn to be an adult. You could also use that money, if it is substantial, to buy your own place to live.
A place to live would be necessary if you plan to start a family. Speaking of which, you said your boyfriend would be "happy to help" as if he was some sperm donor. No offense. But wouldn't you rather the father of your child gets to be a part of the family, and not simply be the sperm donor that occasionally helps out? Wouldn't you want a husband as the father of your children?
Look at it this way... having a child with someone is a much bigger commitment to that person than marrying them. If you are not ready to MARRY your boyfriend, and live the rest of your life with him in it, then you shouldn't have a child by him either. Because with a child you are tied to him for the rest of your life, to an even higher degree than if you purely married him. You don't get to move where you want, don't get to spend your money as you want, there will be dispute over what surname the baby will have even.. the fathers often insist that the child has their last name. Even if he says "okidoki" right now, he can ALWAYS change his mind, and if he does times will get tough.
He could change his mind and fight for custody for example. He might even get it. Then you get to see your baby every other weekend and one day midweek. Ah, yes, that's the other hatch. Seeing as you and your boyfriend aren't married, and aren't living together, the child will have to commute between the two of you.
Now, maybe you didn't have to do that as a child? Move between mother and father every week? It's tiresome. It's hurtful. It takes a toll on you, the child I mean. I wouldn't deliberately put a child into that position.
Think about what would be in the best interest of your future child, that is what will make you a good mother. To place the needs of that child before your own. You feel like you want a baby now, which is YOUR need. But will the baby have a chance at a better life if you had one now, or if you waited 10 more years to get yourself properly settled? Sperm donors will always be there, so don't worry about that part. If you're ready to be a single mom at 26 then at least by then you will have a better chance at a real job, an income, a place to live, and a better idea of how to get by in the world on your own without having to ask mom for help.
Think about it.
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male
reader, Ronnie70  +, writes (1 August 2011):
 You say you've been saving for a great few years. Trust me - you haven't even LIVED for a great few years yet!
Bad idea. Very bad. You and your baby would be yet another burden on the poor hard-pressed taxpayer who would have to fund you by way of social security payments. I for one would bitterly resent that. Why should I pay for you and a baby through what I pay in taxes?
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reader, Mark_25_ +, writes (1 August 2011):
 Again, why the rush?? I know you don't feel like it now, but honestly, you would regret the decision to get pregnant now when looking back on your life. - If you got pregnant now, you wouldn't have a life of your own. I think you probably knew what the reaction on here would be - hence you trying to justify the idea so much. Honestly, enjoy your own life before you consider the responsibility of having to raise one. Spend more time with your nephew and cousin if you want to be about kids, but really, you shouldn't be considering kids for at least another 9 / 10 years
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reader, angelDlite +, writes (1 August 2011):
 why the rush? you have got a lot of life ahead of you, enjoy your youth and freedom a bit longer. being good with other peoples kids is a hell of a lot different than dealing the hard slog of dealing with your own babies, who you don't get to hand back at the end of the day. there is a world full of opportunities for you, when you have kids a lot of these doors will be closed to you. your teenage hormones are responsible for this baby craving. they are a powerful force but just do your best to ride this out and not give in to the craving. when you are in your twenties with an education and more money and a stable relationship is the best time to have a child, wait until then. you will be glad you waited i promise you!
x
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2011): No, do not make haste choice. Wait till you turn 18 and understand the guy who is gonna make you pregnant. It will your child's future. What if he runs away after getting you pregnant. You cant mess up your child's life just because of your childish fantasy. I am sure you would be a great mom. However give it some time and get married to a decent guy once you are 18. You can have as many children as you want. Do not mess your parent's life, your life and the little one's life. Best of luck!!!
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female
reader, sweetiebabes  +, writes (1 August 2011):
 You are responsible at your age but not mature enough to know responsibilities as a parent or as a mother.
Since you are responsible and an honor student, why not focus yourself on how you will become successful in your studies and be successful later on in your career.
You will be much more happier if you are financially stable to take care of your children's future. This is the greatest happiness a parent can give to their children.
Now, if you want to become a successful mother, focus on your life first as a student, study hard, be an honor student so that your parents will be proud of you and you may as well tell this to your future children on how successful you are and they will admire you and follow your footsteps...isn't this a great plan. :)
As you have said, you are a responsible person, BE ONE. First be responsible for yourself (FOCUS ON YOUR STUDIES)...having a baby will come next when you are ready (ready means you are independent and financially stable) to face more challenges in life.
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reader, VSAddict  +, writes (1 August 2011):
 Please rethink this. Don't get pregnant. You aren't ready and you don't even know what it takes to raise a kid. Once you have that kid, he/she will be attached to you FOREVER. You won't have time to hang out with your friends, your time will revolve around the baby, you will lose countless hours of sleep, and you will end up regretting it. But it'll be too late to regret it then because you'll be stuck with them. Wait until you fall in love(a few years from now) and then start planning for a baby. And if you really can't wait until then, then wait until you're at least 20 and have a steady job. But please don't ruin your childhood over a thought about having kids. Kids aren't all they're cracked up to be and if you have one now, you'll realize it very soon.
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female
reader, Brokenhearted19 +, writes (1 August 2011):
 Honestly hunny.. No you should not get pregnant at the age of 16. Just because you are responsible and caring towards other children doesn't mean you are ready to raise a child. A child can not raise a child. Why would u want to have a child knowing our economy is messed up??..Girl continue your education and enjoy your life while your young because once you have a child your freedom is gone and that child becomes your #1 priority.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2011): Out of interest, have you ever had sole charge of a small child for a day? I have, and I'd thoroughly recommend it: see how you feel after a few hours, then imagine having to deal with that - with no respite, mind - every single day for at least the next 5 years until it starts school!
In all objectivity, if you have a baby now, chances are you'll regret it forever. You need to live a little first; meet people, have fun, finish your studies, travel, work... build a secure base for your future children. I promise you, you'll be a much more settled, content and capable mother for it :) Good luck and take care x
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2011): Ask any woman, or man for that matter, that had a baby young and see how many wish that it could have been different. All of them I bet. Not that they regret their child, they just wish things could have been different. Don't have a baby. Get a dog or something.
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reader, dmartin89 +, writes (1 August 2011):
 You say you're responsible and yet you're asking us to condone you getting pregnant at your age..seriously?!
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (1 August 2011):
 No
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