A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey Guys: Just for curiosity's sake, at what age do you figure you will want to be married at and why? And for those of you married already, at what age did you tie the not? What made you want to get married and was it more about the person or about the timing? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (8 July 2010):
 When I was 14, 24 sounded perfect. When I was 24, 30 looked pretty good. When I was 30, I realized there was no point in setting a goal. I married at age 34.
I wasn't conscious of being incredibly picky about a mate, but I just never felt like getting married to just settle down and the exact perfect right guy never showed up. Well, he did eventually, I'm glad I didn't settle for someone else earlier.
I just couldn't imagine life without him, we had the same goals, we figured out how to communicate (we're still working on it, of course), we talked about everything we could think of before we got married. And there are still surprises, amazingly enough. It's what keeps things fresh and prevents things from going stale.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2010): Getting married next april. My fiance and i will be 24. Has nothing to do with age, i always knew i wanted to get married and have kids 'one day' it was when we got together that it became 'to this man' No other relationship was right for it, different values, expectations, emotionally immature etc. This one is perfect. I agree with what most other ppl have said, it really isn't what age or timing. Had i met my fiance when we were younger, who knows. We were both quite different back then. But were friends for a few years before dating and are just right for each other.
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male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (8 July 2010):
 Married at 29.
The only good reason to get married is if the idea of not being married to this specific person seems unbearable.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2010): Obviously there is no 'magic' age for getting married. It depends on how old you are when you meet the right person, AND if you are mature enough for the responsibility. You can meet the perfect person, but if you are still looking around at other guys, then you aren't mature enough.
My wife and I got married at 17 (both of us only 17). I was a little bit of a player and was around the block many times. My wife was very innocent, but mature (as much as you can be at 17). I wanted to get married because I loved this woman (and I have to admit, I was tired of waiting for sex since she was 'saving it' for marriage). My wife wanted to get married partially to get out of a bad home situation. So even though we loved each other very much, we probably should have waited until around 20 or so.
However, our love was so strong, this summer we will be married 29 years, and have 3 wonderful children. SO I re-iterate, it's not the age, it's the right person and not just a one sided love thing, you both have to be each others best friends, and love each other so much that you would die (and actually if necessary) for each other.
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male
reader, Serpico +, writes (8 July 2010):
This is what I will tell you - there is no single decision that will have a larger impact on your life than who you marry. Who you chose is the most important decision you will ever make by a country mile.
With this in mind, I find it surprising to see how many rush into blind, almost to "see how it works out." With divorce rates hovering around half, we are seeing how its working out.
My advice to you is the following -
1 - Fall in love with a person - DO NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH MARRIAGE. This is especially true for women, where I have seen many a lady get married for the sake of getting married vs making sure it was the right person.
2 - When you're deciding who to marry, think with your head as much as possible. Have as much information as possible. Understand it is a business arrangement as much as an emotional one. (Dont think so? Talk to one of your divorced friends and ask them is money/property was a non-issue.)
Like I tell most of my friends - when you're deciding to marry, be as selfish as possible, after you've decided, never be selfish again. Im 42, and have never been married but will soon marry the girl I am with now. I look back on the "maybes" and am thankful everyday I left them to someone else.....
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2010): I don't have any plan on when I want to get married, in fact, I never wanted to get married all throughout the first 20 years of my life. I simply was turned off by many girls, and was let down by others, so I figured marriage and relationships weren't for me.
Then along comes the most perfect girl, and we have been in a relationship for a while now. I want to marry here, but the thing is-I have no "I need to get married before I turn xx years old." When it happens, it will happen.
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male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (8 July 2010):
 HMm interesting well marriage has been on my mind for a awhile now that i think about it the first girl ever wanted to marry i was n 4th grade,, still remember her name.. but since then i met a girl when i was 18 Ive wanted to marry her since... But Im not crazy enough to get married..
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (8 July 2010):
 I wasn't ever planning on when to get married, but when to have kids. I wanted to start having them at 25. That is not likely to happen. But around 25-30 should be a good time to both get married and have kids. However I don't think I will be upset if I have to wait a little longer to make the timing perfect. No point in rushing into something because of a "deadline", when a couple years later you will regret your decision.
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female
reader, StephJayne  +, writes (8 July 2010):
 In my opinion, marriage shouldn't be tagged with an age, neither should falling in love.
After I met my boyfriend, I have wanted to get married to him as soon as I could really. I know that he is the one. I have would love to get married when I am around 19/20/21. As long as I feel I am ready for it, then I will do it.
Getting married should be when you feel ready for it
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2010): I think you should get married because of the person you are with, not how old you are. I also think that someone should wait until they fully develop thier personality and have gained life experience. And remember that there is a difference between maturity and life experience. Someone could be a very mature 18 year old but just hasn't been around long enough to experience many aspects of life.
I got married when I was 23 (he was 21). We loved eachother very much but we were just waaaay too young to settle down. We lasted about 4.5 years then parted ways. I am not the same person I was back then. Your tewnties are a time to learn about yourself, your passions, your wants...to travel, to develop, to mature, to experiment. You cannot give yourself fully to a person until you know who YOU are first, and that doesn't usually happen until later on in life, after yu develop a relationship with yourself.
I will be 30 this year and although I am in a long term relationship (2 years) I am in no rush to get married. I would like to eventually but right now I am just enjoying the time I spend with my partner. I still have a lot of growing to do and want to make sure that when I make the commitment to marry it will be because I am ready (and not because it's what my family wants or what society expects, or because I don't want to be 'too old').
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2010): Since I was a little girl, I would swear up and down that I was going to get married when I was 26. I wasn't even willing to compromise a year or two! But, my lovely high school sweetheart asked me to be his wife not too long ago and now I'm not willing to wait longer than 6 months (I'm 24 & will be married in 5 months). Not exactly my target age, but close enough!
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male
reader, 11muds11  +, writes (8 July 2010):
In my family it's all about timing. Our motto is never get married before 35 if you're a man, unless it is with the ultimate woman and she will get away. There is not one divorce in our family tree, and most of them are the sloppy in love kind. The average age for the man is 39.
As my grandmother said, a man needs to sew "his royal oats" before he even thinks about getting married. Get out his singleness then he is really ready to "settle down". That's where the phrase comes from. That way there is no mid-life relationship crisis and therefore a lot less chance of a divorce. It's worked perfectly for our family. Good luck.
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (8 July 2010):
Marriage shouldn't be about age. It should be about whether you're ready. Some get married in their teens, and the truth is they're not ready. At the same time, some get married in their 40's an aren't ready. It shouldn't be about age, it should be about whether you're with the right person, whether you yourself are ready to be married, and whether your partner is ready. Try not to focus on a specific age. Focus more on finding the right person, and being ready for it.
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female
reader, out of reach  +, writes (8 July 2010):
For me, you should be at the legal age, you're finacially, spiritually and emotionally stable. I think these are the most important things to consider before deciding to finally tie the knot.
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female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (8 July 2010):
 Well I always wanted to be married by the age of 24/25 (I am now 23) - but life has come along and shown me it doesnt quite work that way! I am with a lovely guy now and we hope to get married in the future, but frankly we cant afford a wedding yet as we want to buy a house plus we have only been together 10 months so it is a bit soon! As long as I am married before I am 30 I will be happy!
As for person vs timing - a marriage should always be because that person is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. They have to be right for you, and you right for them otherwise the marriage will fail. So it could be the best timing in the world but if the person was not quite all you hoped and you only marry them just because you "want" to get married at that particular time, then you are just heading for a divorce. Surely waiting to get married, even if it is longer than you hoped, is better than a divorce!
But timing is important in a way, there have been a few guys in my life that have been lovely and I could see myself being with for a long long time, but in the end because I was too young, or because they wanted different things to me etc we would always break up. So I think it is about the right person at the right (ish) time. Because you need everything in your life to be in place in order to get married and have a happy relationship, so in a way timing makes you ready for a serious relationship. But timing should never be more important than the person! Just because you want certain things in life doesnt mean you should "settle" or rush into something purely because you want to get married so bad.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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