A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:HI ladies please hear me out advise me?!!!i have 2 sons. before my first son was born i had to leave to my country to fix some papers my (boyfriend back then stood here) i was alone over there and didnt know i was pregnat then i found out in my country, my dad was mad everyone didnt talk so that meant no help. i didnt have a job and my husband didnt send me no money i was 5 month and he still didnt sent till my sister here told him. then i finally came back because my papers delay, i came my first son was born he was 4 months old when i find out he was cheating on me! when i left he spend his money on that hoe buying her sneakers and me dying of hunger i dint have money to buy vitamins. i broke up for 2 months dont let him see his kid but then i felt alone still living with my mom no work to help her nor my son so i forgave him, then my i find out he wasnt still with the hoe but he was still talking. we fought and then i give in, when my son was 1 year we fought so bad we always fought because of my jealousy but this time was a huge fight that he left us alone for 2 months no money no calls to see hows his son. he came back beg i give in then when my son was 3 years old i find out he was after a lady at work?? what is wrong with him? every time we go out hes always looking at girls butt? i caught him in so many lies about women about the air he breathes when i see his change he lies again hes nice one moth for him to lie 3. now we live together i havent caught him in an affair!! but my jealousy has consume my thoughts and now we fight because of my jealousy and because there time ..he doent kiss me he doesnt say honey i came and hugs me! we sleep in the same bed but we are far from each other he comes home he eats play ps3 dont help with my new baby he goes to sleep no talk when i say lets talk he says no not again what i did? i dont wanna hear it? what i am doing wrong??is it my jealosy? i have a reason for being jealous when i needed him the most he was cheating on me?! does he love or did he stop loving me? he says is my jealousy and wanting to control his every move! but i need to know i dont wanna fall in love deep again with him then he breaks my heart again i cant tolerate that i have 2 kids if i collapse they need me to be strong!!!what should i do?
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female
reader, StephJayne  +, writes (3 August 2010):
 You're not a sucker and you're not shit! Why not try and reason with him? If you keep taking him back then you must love him but it doesn't seem that he loves you.
If he really truly did love you, he would have been there for you through your births of his and your child, sent you money to help you with the children and would have been there by your side through it all. He hasn't done that and that shows that he doesn't love you really,
You need to think about you and your children, what is going to be best for you and your children's future? Can you trust him? Or would you be better finding someone who you can trust and who will be there for you?
I hope you really work it out hunny, Good Luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyes i know i am sucker i am shit, i deserve this cuz i took him back.so many times i try leaveing him never looking back but my sons men i love them and whene his treating me coldhearted and doent wanna spent time i feel like i hate him but...my sons...
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A
female
reader, StephJayne +, writes (8 July 2010):
That sounds like a bad situation!
Well, your boyfriend doesn't sound like a good boyfriend really, while you were away and pregnant with his child, he cheated on you?! Once a cheater - Always a cheater. Unless they find the one they are after.
I would really try and sit him down and have a talk to him, a serious talk. Don't raise you're voice, don't shout, just talk normally and show your emotions. Show him how much he means to you and ask him if he sees how serious your lives together are. You both have 2 children, and he doesn't want to talk to you or spend any time with you by the sounds of it.
He needs to spend time with you or he is going to lose you and his children. Your children will grow up with out a father figure which would damage there life.
Try your best and talk to him calmly.
He doesn't seem worth the worry, stress or upset moments
Hope any of this works. Good luck
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (8 July 2010):
 Hun, you need to get out of the relationship - he has treated you badly and you have accepted that treatment, so therefore he feels its his right to treat you like that.
You and your children dont deserve this kind of treatment. You are in a destructive relationship and it will never get better.
You need to find a way of being on your own, get a job and support your sons.
Your feelings are as a result of hurt and anger at being cheated upon by the man you love, but sorry to say, he doesnt love you and he never will.
Sorry hun, but its time to make plans for your life and that of you children. You are a lot stronger than you realise, and both you and your children deserve happiness!!
Honeygirl
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