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How is an abortion done?

Tagged as: Pregnancy, Teenage

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Question - (13 March 2008)

114 Answers - (Newest, 8 July 2008)

A age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I need an abortion, but words can't explain how worried I am.. Could anyone explain what happens when you first step into the hospital/clinic and onwards? Thank you so much.

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A male reader, Flynn 24 +, writes (8 July 2008):

I'm curious... how else is a person supposed to feel after killing someone? Happy?

Anyone who aborts a child for any other reason besides a medical issue that will kill either one or both the child and mother before the term is completed... deserves all the ill feeling they have.

And if it lasts a life-time then all the better. What right have they to deny a chuld a fair chance if it has one, simply becuase they were stupid and got pregnant a bit too early. Why should the baby be made to pay for the mistakes.

And Diovan, shame on you for suggesting the baby would UNDERSTAND why it's mother chose to selfishly murder it. It would NEVER.

It would feel nothing but anger and pity at such a soul-less and pathetic person.

I'm sorry if this comes across as insensitive at the very least, but abortions in such a selfish circumstancr should be treated as murder and nothing less.

And any further children this girl has I hope find out about this and disown her, for that is the very least that she deserves.

Flynn 24

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2008):

I'm sorry. I've brought it all up again, I've probably upset you. Sorry, but I didn't read all the posts, found them too irritating. I jumped in too quickly and my advice was too late.

I hope your ok, you did what you thought best. Sorry, for bringing it all up again. You made the right decision for you and the baby, whatever happens your baby will understand that it wasn't time to be born. Sorry for bothering you. Take care, I'm thinking of you and sending you love and blessings.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2008):

Oh yea, here's the link for NHS direct, you can also phone them 24/7 and get advice over the phone. http://www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk/ Good luck, take care.....

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2008):

I can't bear this, I really have to step in.

Dear Poster, I'm really sorry your in this difficult situation, and can only imagine how your feeling. You need to brave and strong and decide what you really want. I'm sorry if the ladies on this board have forgeten their duty of care to you, in their attempts to prove their point and get their opinions across.

I know you probably have both sets of advice ringing in your head. My stance is against abortion, but that's my own personal opinion for my own personal circumstances. Stay strong babes, whatever you decide to do, it will be the best decision for you. You may regret it every day, you may feel relief because it's the best thing you ever done. Nobody can know how you feel, not even you, untill you make the decision and get the proceedure done. You may even change your mind at the last moment and decide to keep the child or give it up for adoption.

Only you can decide. I would warn you however to stay away from advice given out by religious groups. They have strong opinions on this and will only give you advice they feel comfortable and make you feel guilty. They are not an impartial source of advice.

I don't know much about the proceedure, but I see your in the UK, which makes things easier for me. I see you present aged 16-17 which means your legal to have sex in the UK.

Contact your local family planning clinic, you'll find the address in the yellow pages, or through NHS Direct. They'll give you impartial information, they won't push you into anything, but will discuss how you feel and why you want an abortion. You'll need to be sure you don't want the baby because you have to convince two doctors that having this baby will ruin your life. Abortions (contrary to popular opinion) are not given out willy nilly in the UK. I know I used to work with them.

They're used to seeing young girls in this situation, and will be very sensitive to you. They won't push and they won't judge and they wont do anything your uncomfortable with. Don't worry whatever you decide to do will be alright. You gotta look at your circumstances, what you want from your life, and what you personally can cope with. Book an appointment to see your doctor, they'll explain what happens and will take it from there.

You can change your mind, even right up to the very last moment, your not wasting anyone's time, there's no force. Put your trust in the NHS and they'll help you make your decision in the most painless way possible.

I'm sorry your in this situation, and support you in whatever you decide to do. Don't worry, everything will be ok. Book an appointment, ok, book an appointment today.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2008):

If you want to get an abortion, it is NOBODY'S place to tell you that you can't. Just go to the clinic and they will talk you through the entire process and you can decide if it is right for you.

Don't let people push their fanatical rekigious views on you.

I know someone that get pregnant when she was 17, got an abortion, and was just recently given a national award at a convention in California. She was also accepted into Brown University about a month ago. None of this would have been possible if she would have had a kid on her hip. Think about it.

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A female reader, natasia +, writes (10 April 2008):

You're more than welcome. Just get those exams done now - do WELL! - and then who knows, maybe you'll still be a young mother : ) I am going to tell my daughter that it's ok to have a kid when she's 21 or so if she wants - that all the stuff about waiting until you're 35 is bollocks ; ) - because it is!

Just get better now. xx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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A female reader, natasia +, writes (9 April 2008):

I can't bear to read this. Really, I just can't bear it. I tried so hard to tell you, and it was exactly the same as happened to me. I tried to get it across, and I felt and feel such a failure that I didn't manage to communicate it to you. I'm sorry. I really tried.

And I am so so sorry that you're feeling like this ... trust me, I know EXACTLY how you're feeling, because it is totally what happened to me. I don't know why I couldn't explain it to you, but I didn't want to use words like 'murderer' because everyone would have said i was putting you under too much pressure, and you would also have thought I was mad. But yes, I felt exactly the same, as if I had allowed a murder to take place, as if in doing that, I had murdered my baby.

I thought by the end of the thread that you were probably going to be ok - you sounded so determined, and i thought perhaps you were one of those women who weren't really bothered (there are some!!) - but now I see that, sadly, you aren't - you're just normal, like I was.

God. Look. You WILL be ok. If you're anything like me, you won't ever forget, but you'll go on to have other children, and they will make you happy. Every pregnancy and baby will remind you of your first baby again, but you will manage to live with it. I PROMISE. It just feels so terrible now, I know. You will have other babies, I am sure. All I wanted to do the second I woke up from the op was to be pregnant again.

I have been through it. I've been totally honest with you about my experience. Unfortunately you're seeing that everything I said was right - I wasn't just some idiot with a bee in her bonnet, but just a sane person who made a dreadful mistake (by listening to people who said it would be ok to have an abortion!!!!!!!! but don't get me on to that - i DO feel angry about that). Anyhow, I was right about everything else, so trust me now: IT WILL BE OK. I am sure. You need someone to love you right now, though. Hope that nice boyfriend is there for you.

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A female reader, Gena Bullock +, writes (9 April 2008):

Thanks, honey... I was worried things were worse than what you feel. Hang in there. Time will heal things and you'll be better before too long. Like some of the other gals said, your baby (like my 3-2 misscarriages and one abortion) are in heaven looking down on me too; just as yours is. Have comfort in knowing they are waiting for us!

Blessings,

Gena

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you, everyone, I have no idea what I'd do without you all here..

And to Gena, I had the, the thing, yesterday.. :[ and now it's gone forever..

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A female reader, Gena Bullock +, writes (8 April 2008):

what is wrong,??????????????????

Gena

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A female reader, Twirly +, writes (8 April 2008):

Oh Sweetie,

Please try to stay positive. A lovely friend of mine once said that when you lose a baby, you get the same soul back next time. You've plenty of time to have lots of children.

Try to think how scary it would be if you had chosen to keep the baby. Both options are tough ones, what's done is done and you're going to be fine.

You're going to feel emotional for a while, as your body will be adjusting to being not pregnant and your hormones will be all over the place.

Have lots of hot cups of tea and lots of rest and you'll feel better soon.

Huge huge hugs x x x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

my*

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I want my baby back :[ Help me, please.. I'm begging you.. I need me baby back..

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A female reader, carebear +, writes (8 April 2008):

What your are feeling is natural, this is a very hard thing to go through and you will get through it pet.

You will cry and feel guilt but it will get better and just because you feel this way does not mean you made the wrong decision.Please don't go through this alone, if your b/f is no help then please tlk to your dad he will understand and support you pet. You have been very mature and strong in theis predicament, remember you are not alone. Mail me if you every want to tlk, I will be there for you anytime.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (8 April 2008):

I'm sooooooooo sorry, honey. Just let the tears flow for awhile. It will take some time but each day will be a bit easier. You've just experienced one of life's harsher moments but you will ultimately be stronger for it. Give yourself time to recover okay? Keep us posted.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2008):

Honey, you did what you thought was best and even though you feel like you have changed your mind, you had your reasons and you need to stick with them. What you need right now is support, is there someone close to you that you can rely on for support? I suggest you phone the clinic or doctor that you went to today and ask them if they can refer you to some kind of support or counselling network. Its the only way you will be able to truly get over this, otherwise you risk repression and denial which can cause you psychological problems later in life. We are here for you hun but you need as much support as you can get. What you did was the right thing for you personally and you just need to remember your reasons. xxxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2008):

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I had the abortion today, and I can't even bare to think about it right now. I can't stop crying, and somehow I feel as though I've lost someone so close to me... Its possibly the worst thing I've ever experienced :[ i want to kill myself for what i've done, murder deserves murder surely? And only now i realise this. How can I live with myself. So now i find myself lying in bed, tears streaming down my face and clutching my stomach, as if my baby will somehow come back.. I.. I hate this...

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A female reader, natasia +, writes (7 April 2008):

Why the countdown? Incidentally, I've just given birth to a beautiful daughter. She is amazing. Now 5 days old, and already looking into our eyes and wondering at the new world she finds herself in.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

2 days to go now..

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2008):

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Thanks.

I went for another check up today, just to make sure everythings okay for the abortion to go ahead. And yeah, everything is fine.. Just a waiting game until tuesday..

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A female reader, carebear +, writes (2 April 2008):

Hi Poster

I checked when you go as had not heard from you. You seems to be coping it just seems like a long time has passed. I understand youre still scared hopefully someone either b/f or friend will accompany you so you don't feel alone, if you do I am always here for you to pick my brain. Thinking of you and if you need to talk post again or mail me.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

The abortion is next tuesday, so just under a week now.. Still pretty scared, but I'm just riding my fears out. Thanks for all your help guys, I'll post again on the abortion when its done.

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A female reader, carebear +, writes (30 March 2008):

Just thought I would add on here if anyone is interested as Tish suggested I was looking back the forums and there is one Re Abortions!!!!

Poster I would advise you check this out as I think this may help you.

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A female reader, natasia +, writes (28 March 2008):

Peaches said only you know if you will be able to cope with having a baby - I think that's the whole problem. You don't, because you've never had that experience. You just don't know what it's like, and you have a choice of a foggy, scary future where everything changes forever on one side, or a simple procedure to make everything go away on the other. I can see why you've gone for the abortion, really. Only thing is, there's no guarantee it will all go away so completely!

Are you further on than 12 weeks? Because if so, honestly, what they call a medical abortion is really something else again. Just make sure they've told you everything before you sign on the dotted line (and remember they're getting cash for it, so they want you to sign : )

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A female reader, carebear +, writes (27 March 2008):

Poster

If there is anything I can do to help and support you I am only at the other end of an e-mail if you want.Thinking of you.

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A female reader, peaches83 +, writes (27 March 2008):

Hiya

Ive been reading some of the comments that other people have put on here. I myself put one on quiet earlier.

You can see how people differ in their opinions and beliefs.

Abortion is a huge subject and you will get all sorts of opinions but at the end of the day the decision is yours.

No one should be made to feel bad simply becasue they have decided to do it.

Ok i myself dont agree with it but maybe that is becasue i have a child already and know the ins and out of what i am able to cope with. But its taken me 5 years to learn it lol.

Im 24 and have a 5 yr old son and a 6 year old stepson that spends 4 days out of 7 here. Im studying for a Bsc in psychology and yes it is very hard to be able to fit in. But i manage. If you are in a situation where you dont have children and are currently studying then of course you will find it difficult. Not too mention your age to.

Ok so there are a lot of young mums (taling like 13 and 14) and im not putting them down because i know some of them are brilliant parents. What im trying to say is that you know your life better than anyone and you know whether you will be able to cope.

Theres always the future.

Good luck and i hope you can move on from this s:)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2008):

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Oh, I should probably mention too.. I'm still in a relationship with a great guy. We've been together 16months and he's promised to support me. But he's more of a "There's no point worrying about it, coz you've decided now" kind of guy.. But I do love him, he's amazing most of the time. So I have him, but us girls need our girl time don't we? And I don't really have a girl.. Especially not my mother..

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2008):

sweet heart I feel for you your young and you know that your choice to have an abortion is yours and yours alone, there are many people out there that dont agree to them but you are to young to have a baby. abortion is a short stay in hospital not even over night its like a curette just a clean out. how far along are you? when i was 16 i got pregnant i was going to abort but i didnt then when i was 20 weeks (5months) pregnant i went into laybour and the baby was born he was to small to survive on the outside world and he died a few minutes after birth personally i would rather have an abortion than go through that again.. end of the day this is your body your choice and noone has the right to judge you, you do what is best for you after all people can say its the wrong thing to do but are they going to help you raise this child ? are they going to send you money every week to feed and clothe it no i dont think so. good luck hope everything works out for you.

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A female reader, korculan queen +, writes (26 March 2008):

Sweetheart you have made the decision because it is your decision. Instead of some of these posters bagging you they should be bagging the male who put you in this position. It is so easy for them to walk away but the woman has to be responsible for the decision. Have you got a friend who can go with you? You shouldn't feel alone in this you should feel supported. Just remember to seek some counselling afterwards when you are ready and don't be so hard on yourself. Remember the circle of influence. Ok the big circle is your emotions your thoughts your feelings and how you react to them and others. The smaller circle is how others think, feel and react to your thoughts and feelings. Of these two circles the only one you can influence is your circle ie you can't change how people react and think but YOU can change how you let that affect you in your circle.

Try this relaxation exercise.

Sit yourself in a comfortable chair in a room or outside.

say aloud 5 things you see. ie wall clock window floor etc.

now say aloud 5 things you hear. ie cars birds clock ticking

now say aloud 5 things you feel. ie chair on my back, hair touching my neck etc,clothes.

now repeat this step but go down to 4 things see hear and feel. They can be the same things or different.

Now say 3 things you see hear and feel.

Then say 2 things you see hear and feel.

then say 1 thing you see hear and feel.

This exercise is designed to get you out of your head ie your worries and back in your body and actually helps calm your breathing and your thoughts. Try it and let me know how you go. It works for me. Take care sweetheart and be kind to yourself.

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A female reader, Fairy_Lu +, writes (26 March 2008):

Huni its your decision you have made your mind up i know your scared and worried and feeling guilty but its whats BEST for YOU your just a baby yourself and its unfair to expect you to bring up a child,if it was me i would do the same thing i dont have the physically or mental ability to raise a baby so i understand completely.Dont listen to anyone who says your wrong or a murderer because your not you are making a decision and choosing whats best for you and a baby, you know you cant raise a child and give it the best life and at the end of the day both you and a baby wouldnt have an amazing quality of life.

I know your feeling bad but one day you will be able to give a great life to a baby but now isnt the time, you have out alot of time and effort into deciding and come to the conclussion thats best for you.

You have made a very hard decision and made a brave choice.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2008):

I had an abortion about 6 months ago. I would not go through it again, not becuse of the physical pain but because of the emotions that come from having an abortion. I am in college and have been daing my boyfriend almost 2 years. It was totally unexpected and I did not know that I was pregnant until nearly 3 months in. As soon as I found out that I was pregnant I had the abortion without much thought. At the time that I was pregnant I told my boyfriend that that was the only option. He wanted me to have the baby, but my only option was to have an abortion. Sometimes I think what if I had not have had the abortion and that I would have a baby now...it's upsetting,but I feel at the time it was the best decision. So I'm not going to tell you what to do/ what not to do. I just want you to think about it before you do it. But here's how it is done from first hand experience.

You go to the clinic and you are there about 8 hours. When you first get there you wait until they call you back (which can take a couple of hours) and you get an ultrasound where they are just confirming you're pregnant and how far along you are. After this is done you get your finger pricked for bloodwork, get your height/weight checked, and your blood pressure taken. You then go in for counseling where they basically just go over the procedure and make sure that you want to go through with it. After this you wait until it's your turn to have the procedure. The procedure itself only takes a few minutes. They put you to sleep and when you wake up you're in the recovery room. You do not feel anything. When you wake up you will probably experience bleeding and cramping much like heavy period cramps. They will gradually stop over the course of an hour or so. But the most pain you will feel the entire time is cramping, you do not feel anything else. You're in the recovery room for an hour or so then you can leave. So that's how the procedure is done at a clinc.

Good luck and I hope that everyhing works out for you sweetie!!

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A female reader, natasia +, writes (26 March 2008):

I too want to wish you all the very best and hope you will come to terms with what, whichever way you had chosen, is a huge and stressful decision to be making on your own. I really hope you have someone good to talk to, who can support you and be with you.

For my part, I was responding honestly to the post and just trying to give you the benefit of my hindsight, because if someone had told me before what I know now, I wouldn't have terminated my baby. But to be honest you've had more than enough input here - making it all even more stressful, I'm sure.

I'm haunted by the last appointment I had before the operation. My own GP refused to refer me for an abortion, because he said he couldn't sign and say that it was honestly right for me = apparently 2 doctors have to sign, and they have to confirm beyond any doubt that you would suffer more emotional and or physical harm if you had the baby than if you had an abortion. He couldn't do that, and he said he would have nothing to do with the operation. So I had to be signed off by 2 doctors at the abortion clinic, one of whom had met me for about 1 minute - literally said 'do you want an abortion? ok' and signed, and the other of whom I never met. Anyhow, the day before the operation I had to go to a GP surgery that would accept to take responsbility for me if I had problems such as haemorrage after the operation. I saw a nurse there and she was actually crying, and said to me 'you don't have to go through with it, you know - you can still say no'. I don't know why I didn't listen. So I'm sorry if I sound like I'm trying to persuade you the wrong way or something - I just know how I feel and felt, and I just thought here I have the chance to communicate it to someone else, in case it's useful to hear.

You will get over it. You will go on and have other babies. I think if you're feeling bad already, you'll probably need a lot of support after, but eventually you'll be ok. I am. Really, honestly, good luck with it all.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2008):

Hey. I just thought I would post a little message of support and to see how you are doing. I appreciate that the heated exchanges which your question seems to have generated might be very upsetting and I just wanted to say that whatever decision you have made it must have been very difficult for you, but if you are sure it is what is best for you then you are doing the right thing. Look after yourself, and whatever decision you have made please remember that there are people out there who can help and support you. Take care of yourself.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (26 March 2008):

Okay, all, it sounds like it's time to end the debate here. Why not use the forums or articles on dearcupid to continue discussions?

And, to you, our poster, I think you've done a thorough job researching your options, and I hope you have the support and help you need in the future.

All the best to you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Please.. I can't click on those links. Not only do I not want to, but I've made my decision and I don't want to go back..

I feel like some people on here are telling me about the pain and regret I'll feel.. can't you see I'm feeling it already? This is why I posted the question.. Almost every night i'm crying myself to sleep, unable to cope with these feelings. You may say its because i'm too young, maybe I am, but telling me doesn't help this situation..

I just, I don't know.. I've got a child growing inside of me and I'm killing it, but it kills me as well to know this. But I'm just reassuring myself i've made the right decision, because in the long run, i feel i have.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Please.. I can't click on those links. Not only do I not want to, but I've made my decision and I don't want to go back..

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Please.. I can't click on those links. Not only do I not want to, but I've made my decision and I don't want to go back..

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A female reader, carebear +, writes (26 March 2008):

Laura

Read back your post to this girl, you are making out she is evil if she goes through with this. that is wrong maybe she does believe in God I do I am not evil I will not be judged by you or anyone else that didnot walk in my shoes, you are just being downright horrible not just to me but to everyone that has had abortion because this is your view. I am sorry but we don't need this kind of judgement on this site by all mean you have your views on this but thats all it is same as me your views

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A female reader, carebear +, writes (26 March 2008):

Laura

You have lost this battle, and its not up to you read what the posters last update was! poor thing trying to explain WHY! her GP is a DOCTOR what qualifys YOU I am no dictor just trying to HELP not tell her what to do I have never said go get an abortion yes agree with Dr Pete you should be ashamed of yourself JUDGE AND JURY!

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A female reader, Laura1318 +, writes (26 March 2008):

Dr.Pete,

That is not relevant here and it is simply not the same.Period!

Are you a real Dr?

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A female reader, Laura1318 +, writes (26 March 2008):

A reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Laura1318, I'm not heartless. This is why I asked this question - I need opinions, medical and non-medical. I don't know whether you've ever had an abortion or not, but surely you have no right to say I'm heartless if you've never been put in the situation? You don't understand how it feels.

Thanks for all the other replies, really, its unbelievable how caring you guys all are. Thank you :]

[Unquote]

She subsequently posted this.

I do not agree with your opinions and I am voicing it out here.

You told her to go for an abortion and asked her to do

this and that and don't listen to those pro life, don't look at those pics.

You tried to stop others from voicing their views and attack their prolife stands.

This is a public site and others have a right to say their piece.

Basically you belittled her and thinks she has no mind of her own.

What are you?

Speak to which professional, her abortion GP?

That is like going to the executioner and pleading for your life. Ha! ha!

Great advice from you!

Goodbye to you too!.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2008):

Laura, would you post pictures of a decomposing body if someone were to post on here that they were finding it hard to deal with a loved one's death and funeral?

You should thoroughly ashamed of yourself.

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A female reader, carebear +, writes (26 March 2008):

Laura

You seem to be missing the piont here this is NOT about YOU or ME is this girl asking about feotus pic? NO! Is she asking YOU how SHE will feel if she goes through with it NO! NOBODY KNOWS THAT! She is doing what has been advised go speak to proffesionals now are you questioning THEM aswell. You really need to get a grip here hopefully this is goodbye to you.

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A female reader, Laura1318 +, writes (26 March 2008):

[Post removed by Andrew]

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A female reader, Laura1318 +, writes (26 March 2008):

Does a private GP gives you good advise?

If anybody thinks a private clinic will advise you against abortion,then the GP will have to close shop

There will be a conflict of interest.

Those abortion clinics are opened for business to perform

abortions and not to be anti abortion.

Only fools like some posters think those GP will think what

is right for you ,

for it is their pockets and not you or your baby that matters.

Abortion practice is a very lucrative business and with the

record numbers of abortion in the UK, there will be plenty

of millionaires who made their money out of the miseries of

mothers and child.

Saving a life is important but if she wants to end it ,

that is her choice whether she is well informed or

uninformed , right or wrong , she will bear all the consequences .

Abortion is irreversible.

Once done , your child will go to Heaven...

Goodbye !

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A female reader, natasia +, writes (25 March 2008):

Suggest you read some of the other posts on this site, from girls who've just recently had abortions and are now completely in despair at what they've done. They too thought they were making the right decision.

Try the one 'How do you deal with the pain of abortion' - posted recently. Some posters here seem to think that we're just talking about the baby here - we aren't. We're talking about you, too, and how you're going to feel. Even more so than the baby. Have I ever once said your baby has a right to life? No. He or she is yours, and their life is in your hands. I'm just trying to tell you how you might feel, before it's too late.

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A female reader, carebear +, writes (25 March 2008):

Hi Poster

Just got to add SOME of the other aunts are just sorry they didn't get you to change your mind and want to make you feel even worse by saying to look at pics.These aunts have kids of there own they made their own choices nobody telling them one way or another and also they are alot older than you.I feel like I am the only one promoting abortion I am NOT I just think everyone has the right to decide as I would be saying to another young girl if everyone was telling her to abort to think for herself. Also some of these aunt are persistant offenders as I see it and thats why I had to respond back. I am no hearless monster just trying to help a young girl in need.

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A female reader, carebear +, writes (25 March 2008):

Hi Poster

Glad that you went to GP and clinic where they can give you the best advice. The only other thing I can suggest to you is if you can't talk to your mother, talk with a friend/relative for support to go with you as yes it is scary for anyone not just you. Please don't go to the websites that others are suggesting to look at feotus pic as this is hard enough to go through I never ever said it was easy, I will be thinking of you take care.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Okay today I saw the sex clinic, and I've decided the best thing for me to do would be to get an abortion. It's booked now.. I just, I'm just scared. I'll be fine soon, it just takes time for me to get used to the idea.. And I will get used to it - I'll have to. I'm going private so it's booked for the 7th April.

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A female reader, natasia +, writes (24 March 2008):

If you can have the abortion pill up to 12 weeks, are we saying that the poster here is beyond 12 weeks? If so, you will have to deliver your baby through induced labour. Can you imagine how bad that is? I think in an earlier post I said 'after 12 weeks, forget it'. Why, if you really want an abortion, has it taken so long to make a decision? Just check out a few websites of what stage of development babies are at after 12 weeks. They're happily swimming around. They're well on the way. This isn't just a little cluster of cells any more.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2008):

Thanks xx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I got told it was up to 12 weeks.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2008):

Just a question for anyone really, thought I would post it on here as it is relevant, how far gone do you have to be before the abortion pill is not an option?

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A female reader, natasia +, writes (24 March 2008):

I meant to warn you that doctors often advise abortion - it's almost like they feel they can't advise otherwise, because there's such a taboo about being anti-abortion. Interestingly, I am pregnant now, and it was unplanned and is about as difficult a circumstance as you can get. I'm pregnant with a man who risks losing access to his two children (aged 3 and 6) if the mother of those children finds out about our baby. There was every reason to have an abortion, but when I went to my doctor, I said straight out it wasn't an option. She said 'Are you sure?' and then she said 'Goodness - what am I saying? It's just that nowadays we're given so much information about abortion, and are trained to propose this as an option - maybe we've gone too much the wrong way.' She seem genuinely struck by this.

I have a feeling you're going to abort the baby. I'm sorry I haven't been able to communicate what might happen, and how final it is, because I feel if I had, you'd decide to go with the baby. I know you're still at school, but I think you'd be proud of yourself one day if you kept him/her. You'd really have fought for the baby, and, I'm sure, suffered a bit (more inconvenience and embarrassment than anything else) - and I think that's preferable to the awful ness of abortion. But this is my last word on it all ... as I said, you're the mother.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Well, I went for an appointment with my doctor today, and I've got the sex clinic tomorrow. In a way, it seems like my doctor is actually advising me to have an abortion. I'm too late to take the abortion pill now, so if I was going to have one, I'd have to have the full operation.

I'll report back tomorrow once I've been to the clinic to update you on things. Thanks.

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A female reader, Laura1318 +, writes (24 March 2008):

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/health/womenfamily.html?in_article_id=299146&in_page_id=1799

(Copy and paste the link in another window if clicking on the link does not work.)

The above link does not work in here.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/dailymail/home/

Go to the Daily Mail site and in the search window type these words;-

Eyewtiness to abortion

Just follow the spelling exactly or copy and paste .

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A female reader, Laura1318 +, writes (24 March 2008):

An Eye witness account of an abortion from a mother.

We often hear of the children wanting about an abortion disregarding the mother's wishes.

The child is so young and takes the major decision without considering the mother's views.

Here is a poignant story of a mother , whose child insisted on having an abortion and she tells her side of her story.

Very sad when life is so cheap .

Many women do not regret having children but many regret killing their child.

From;-

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/health/womenfamily.html?in_article_id=299146&in_page_id=1799

(Copy and paste the link in another window if clicking on the link does not work.)

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A female reader, natasia +, writes (23 March 2008):

I'm surprised that you're surprised people feel so strongly about this! They feel so because it's a matter of life and death, and what you do now will affect the rest of your life.

I thought i felt the same as you, and particularly the same re: adoption, but I now so wish I had at least given my child the chance of life, and let her be adopted. And then she would be alive, and there would be a chance of one day seeing her, and somehow sorting things out. Death is incredibly final, you know - just remember that.. If your child is dead, that's that. No amount of regrets or mind-changing can do anything.

And Laura is right - there's loads of support, if you only ask for it. If you do love kids, as you say, then this abortion could be a really bad experience for you.

Your choice. You're the mother.

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A female reader, Laura1318 +, writes (23 March 2008):

PREGNANCY and ABORTION

What is it?

If you are facing a pregnancy with a sense of fear, rather than wonder, there is help for

you.

Trained counsellors can help you deal with what being pregnant means for you and how it will affect your life.

If you decide not to go ahead with the pregnancy, there is also counselling available to help you deal with the impact of abortion - even if you are still feeling the effects decades later.

Where can I go for help?

To find a pregnancy counselling centre near you, visit www.pregnancy.org.uk or call the Care Confidential Helpline on 0800 028 2228. The centres can also provide free pregnancy testing.

Pregnancy and abortion advice is also available from the British Pregnancy Advisory Service. Visit their website at www.bpas.org.uk or call their Action Line on 08457 30 40 30.

For more reading, please go to

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/health/womenfamily.html?in_article_id=155458&in_page_id=1799

(If you click and does not lead you to this site, please copy and paste the link in another window.)

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A female reader, Laura1318 +, writes (23 March 2008):

In the UK , single and unmarried woman with child can qualify for child benefits.

Some help is available to pay for the costs of accommodation, living expenses, childcare and even free NHS prescriptions.

You might like to take an interest on this site

http://www.hmrc.gov.uk/childbenefit/cb-key.htm#b

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A female reader, carebear +, writes (23 March 2008):

Poster

Glad you responded, sorry this had turned to a debate, as I said you don't have to explain yourself.I hope you make the right choice for YOU, take care of yourself and I wish you the best whatever you do.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Wow, lots of responses! You know, its really intriguing to read all your opinions on it - to be honest, I didn't realise how strongly some people felt about abortion.

I see where you're coming from, by saying that abortion is such an easy thing to have these days. And I agree. I know of perfectly capable pregnant women, but aborting their baby simply because it is not wanted. The reason I'm thinking about abortion is because I simply can't have a baby. I'm 17 - and to be fair, I love kids! But I'm in the middle of studies, I hardly have enough time for myself as it is. I couldn't give it the time it needed, never mind the space as I'm living with my parents, and my job just wouldn't pay.

I understand your points on adoption, but I couldn't.. It might seem selfish, but I couldn't give my baby away. I know for a fact that, as a child-loving person, my heart would break because I'd become so attached to it. I know what I'm like, I would love it so much and not be able to give it away. But then again, I simply couldn't keep it. So this is why I'm thinking my best bet is to not continue the pregnancy at all..

I'm going to see my doctor, and also a local sex clinic, to discuss my options with them, and see what an abortion would bring about, and also what effect actually having the baby would have on me.

Again, thanks for your help. I'll keep you updated :]

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A female reader, Laura1318 +, writes (23 March 2008):

I think the Daily mail site have tons of info on abortion

and the poster can go there and after reading can form her own opinions.

That said , it is useless to say anymore on this topic.

Whatever she chooses, I will wish her all the best.

Take whatever is good and throw away those that are useless.

Nobody is imposing any of their wills here.

It is just their opinions.

You can take it or leave it.

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A female reader, Laura1318 +, writes (23 March 2008):

No one not even YOU can tell if this poster is goiong to suffer mental health problems, you are preaching against abortion plain and simple scaremongering, being influenced by the catholic church it a bloody disgrace. I am not a catholic (thank god) but I have catholic cousins who have also had abortions because at that ime they did not want a baby, they have went on to have familys so I am NOT the only one. I know of lots of woman for reasons of there own have terminations all legal and have not went to hell yet!

[Unquote]

Yes! That is correct , nobody is going to know she will

suffer mental health problems or not.

I am not God and so are you .

The Daily Mail article says it all.

If you don't agree, it is your right.

The poster has a right to be informed and I am not preaching here.

There are always two sides to a coin. The poster can choose whatever to believe. It is her right.

This is not scaremongering and stop labeling me as such

because you cannot accept the stark naked truth.

You are not the religious type and what do you know about religion?

How do you know whether they will go to hell or not?

If you do not know about religion , please don't pretend you

know when you are totally ignorant.

Little knowledge is dangerous.

You are telling her to go for abortion ,

the very thing you judge others about scaremongering and

you tell her it is nothing and you have no regrets or remorse about it.

Yeah , your abortion is like going to the toilet and pooped

end of it, without any side effects or psychological and mental damage.

Go to that Daily Mail site and read all those who went for abortion and regretted it.

In UK , you only need the signature of 2 GP to have an abortion and no GP will not sign.(According to the Daily Mail)

Even a 14 year old can have an abortion without the mother's knowledge.

Just because your cousin also had an abortion does not make you right.

Just because in your land it is legal it does not mean that

you do not have to face a much higher power.

You shall reap what you sow legal or otherwise.

You can reject or disagree with my views.

You are entitled to believed anything you want.

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A female reader, natasia +, writes (22 March 2008):

guys, I don't know if any of you in this heated argument have read my little contributions to it.

I am not especially religious, I am not anything much at all unusual - just a straightforward, thinking, feeling kind of person. I had an abortion at 21 and unfortunately I was one of the ones who suffered terrible grief and anxiety after it.

My point is that this poster asked what's involved. It's only fair to tell her what the possible outcomes are, and what she will actually be agreeing to do. If she goes ahead and her life's ruined after that, well, she knew what she was risking. Surely that's the beginning and end of it? So we aren't trying to persuade her one way or the other - we're giving our opinions, based on our life experiences, so she can decide for herself. Let's not attack each other. It's hard enough. It's taken me nearly 20 years to get to this point. Abortion is such a sad and awful thing.

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A female reader, carebear +, writes (22 March 2008):

Annalisa & Co

Stand by everything I said before, sorry I thought you said you had an abortion before,like others have said before me this poster asked "How is an abortion done?" what happens when you go to clinic/hospital not moral religious views rights/wrongs adoption and everything else you care to throw in.Right from the start of this post someone anon was trying to tell this poster what she should do without answering the question and the rest of you followed that wrong in my view and has nothing to do with the question she asked. Take a look back and see.

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A female reader, carebear +, writes (22 March 2008):

Annalisa

Correct me if I am wrong here but did you not say you had an abortion? (sex before marrage)did you think it was an easy choice? As for rape and being forced into unwanted pregnancy, it's not the baby's fault, is it?! That statement say it ALL. So tell me how many kids do you have NOW that your married you should not be using birth control neither should any other catholic acording to the church? and what about gay/lexbians not allowed OMG, BUT when it comes out that the Catholic CHURCH and all there good abuse children that were put up for adoption and abused by there nuns/priests there is an outrage. I am sorry to all other catholics I sound like a nutter but this is my view I think folk bend the rules to suit themselves. Poster I am sorry you have been caught up in all this, some of my replys have not been added wonder why?!

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A female reader, carebear +, writes (22 March 2008):

TO THE POSTER

YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN PREACHERS I REST MY CASE FOR LAURA & ANNALISA BLA BLA BLA GO SAY A FEW HAIL MARYS AND ALL WILL BE FORGIVEN!

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A female reader, carebear +, writes (22 March 2008):

laura

I see your only updating your own responces to this and not included mine preach all you like dear its only your views

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A female reader, Laura1318 +, writes (22 March 2008):

What REALLY happens during an abortion:

One surgeon finally tells the truth.

From the Daily mail

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/article.html?in_article_id=487377&in_page_id=1879

Please do not click on this link as it will not work on this site but to copy the link and paste it in a new window.

Sorry for the double posting.

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A female reader, Laura1318 +, writes (22 March 2008):

What REALLY happens during an abortion:

One surgeon finally tells the truth.

From the Daily mail

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/article.html?in_article_id=487377&in_page_id=1879

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A female reader, carebear +, writes (22 March 2008):

Laura

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A female reader, Laura1318 +, writes (22 March 2008):

Women who have abortions are three times as likely to suffer depression and other mental illness.

"Surely those who support a woman's right to abortion must also support her right to know the risks associated with that choice.

Choice is only a reality if women know exactly what it is that they are choosing."

Anna Pringle, a spokeswoman for LIFE, said its own research showed some women suffered post-abortion trauma that left them with psychlogical suffering.

We know that, for many women, abortion can have a devastating impact on their psychological health."

"Women have a right to know the medical facts in order that they make fully informed decisions and get the help they need, and doctors, and particularly the Royal Colleges, have a responsibility to impart accurate information and provide proper care."

From;-

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=413039&in_page_id=1770

I would suggest for her to go to this site and read up all those articles on abortion in the UK.

Just type,'Abortion ' in that search window.

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A female reader, carebear +, writes (22 March 2008):

Abotion is just to easy in the UK who says that YOU?

And you can't just walk in and have one there is a procedure you have to go through like everything else, so your WRONG!

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A female reader, carebear +, writes (22 March 2008):

laura

read my notes I AM A MOTHER OF 2 I know what being a mother is ALL ABOUT also a single parent.I just hope you never find yourself in this position yes you make it sound easy anyone wanting an abortion can just walk in and get one!!!!!

If only these young people got the proper guidance, it is available at her GP and clinic!I am just pointing out I have no regrets same as some other posters that have had to go through this, others have a hard time dealing with it, neither you me or anyone can tell if this poster will but that don't make her heartless or unfeeling, she's scared emotional and she should really have her mother or another adults support in these situations. Poster I cant tell you what to do only whatever you do do it for YOU! Laura again for the record I live in Sotland and we have a high record of teen pregnancys, single parents, child poverty, not everyone is queing at the clincs for a termination but seeing what some of these poor babys are having to live in it makes you wonder!

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A female reader, Laura1318 +, writes (22 March 2008):

Abortion is just too easy in the UK.

Anyone wanting an abortion can just walk in and have it done.

Some women who resisted the urge to abort realised what a

world of difference their baby made in their life.

If only those young people got the proper guidance and counseling .

She has the power to let her baby live or die....

No regrets like you tell her.

Because it works in your case.

It was right for you at that time

But will it be right for her ?

Does what works for you also works for her?

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A female reader, carebear +, writes (22 March 2008):

oh and just for the record i did answer the poster question as best i could and i have had termination. the hospital i went to was very kind and supportive, they did not judge me, even when i was in theatre before the put me under they asked if this is waht i wanted.when in recovery they were helpful and did their job without judging and again i will say i do not regret termination i wish i didn't have to go through it but like everything else in life you have to make choices this was mine same as poster she is young, has her whole life ahead of her. i didnot say i do not believe in anything i am not heartless just because i don't agree with you stop picking on a teenager in need of help if you have anything to say say it to me!

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A female reader, carebear +, writes (22 March 2008):

laura

This is the knd of reply I am trying to piont out, there is too many folk on here saying this girl will kill her baby, she will regret having termination, it is HER RIGHT IN THIS COUNTRY to have a LEGAL ABORTION WITHOUT HAVING TO JUSTIFY IT TO EVERYONE. I get really angry when folk stait this as YOU ARE PUTTING YOU VIEWS ACROSS TO CHANGE THIS GIRLS MIND.

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A female reader, Laura1318 +, writes (22 March 2008):

WHOA! I did not say it was you and I did not mention you .

You got me wrong.

Some one said she had no regrets.

She asked you to do like her and don't feel guilty about it.

In your original question, you only asked about the

technical aspects but people gave their views and judgments on this issue.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for all the other replies, really, its unbelievable how caring you guys all are. Thank you :]

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A female reader, Laura1318 +, writes (22 March 2008):

Abortion is legal in your country .

In some countries it is illegal except in rape cases and you can be persecuted where you live there.

If your law does not persecute you , there is God's laws , Universal laws and Karma.

If you do not believe in anything , that is your right.

Abortion is not just disposing a dead tissue but a life .

You may kill your own baby and walk away feeling nothing.

You have no remorse and no regrets.

Are you a cyborg or are you a heartless human being?

The other aunts are putting their thoughts about abortion in the proper perspective .

The decision to abort is the sole prerogative of the poster.

Stop criticizing those aunts .

Just give your opinions and let her decide for herself.

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A female reader, carebear +, writes (21 March 2008):

Hi Poster

Its me again after reading all the updates. I just don't get this I had termination 20 odd yrs ago I was before 12 weeks, I went to GP he referred me to hospital appiontment went there couple od days later admitted put to sllep had termination yes it was emotional, yes I was scared & I was older than you, staff at hospital were very very nice & supportive not judging, no problems after went on to have another daughter as I already had a daughter and do not regret my decision. I am sorry that I put myself in the position to have a termination, I do think about it but i do not regret it. I did the right thing at the time for ME. Please do the same for yourself as I think you do want to terminate but are just scared and worry about people judging you. I will say this again this forum is good but any medical questions should be answered by a nurse doctor not these aunts and as for the views everyone is entiltled to have one but this is just wrong what these guys are doing making you feel guilty killing a baby there must be alot of murderes walking around some of these aunt included why are we not in jail????????????

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A female reader, natasia +, writes (21 March 2008):

p.s.

and as to your original post about how is an abortion done - it is really, really grim. Really. You imagine it won't be, but it is. And then they take of the remains of your child and either incinerate it or use for medical research, and that thought torments you pretty much forever.

If you're before 8 weeks or so, you can have that injection. If up to 12 weeks, the suction thing. After that, don't even consider it - induction of labour to deliver a tiny life? Jeez.

There's no way round it - it is horrible. And that's from me - just a normal sort of person - no strong beliefs or websites with flowers and links - just a regular female.

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A female reader, natasia +, writes (21 March 2008):

I think what I was trying to say is that what's best for you may well be what's best for the baby as well.

If you have the abortion, you have no guarantee of how you will feel - you may skip off feeling fine, or you may be absolutely devastated. From my own experience, that isn't a risk worth taking. I suddenly found that all the arguments that had seemed so sensible, about how I wasn't in a position to bring up a child, better to wait, focus on my career, etc etc, - those arguments suddenly just dissolved into nothing, and all I felt was terrible grief and regret. And then I had to leave my job anyhow, because I just cried in front of the computer all day. I only realised years later, when my dad died, that it was grief I suffered.

If you have the baby, you DO have a guarantee - without any shadow of a doubt, you will never regret having him or her. Have you ever heard a mother look at her baby and say 'oh bloody hell, why did I have you?' - nope. The pregnancy will probably be the time when you keep thinking 'have I done the right thing?', but once the baby is here you will wonder how you could ever have lived without them.

When your 2-yr-old is rushing up to you with a card and saying I love you mummy, you won't regret she or he is doing that. When they do well at school. When they need you in the night. As you help them grow into being their own person. All the time. I promise you. And when you hold them, you will have such a feeling of contentment and joy. And any amount of 'sacrifice' of your time, or money, or whatever - you just won't count it. It will mean nothing - it will feel like a pleasure to be doing it, for them. And you will manage your life no problem - kids really aren't that difficult. You get back a hell of a lot more than you put in.

If you cancel this - zero the baby - you can't say how it will affect you. If you have him or her, you can. To me that's the bottom line, if we're talking about decision-making. In one situation you can't be certain; in the other, you can. You can potentially ruin your life, and risk lifelong regret and longing, or you can change your life, with the addition of a child.

It is your choice, but I hope I've helped make it a truly informed one.

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A female reader, Laura1318 +, writes (21 March 2008):

Here is an inspiring story for you ;-

http://laura1318.wordpress.com/2007/12/20/the-best-christmas-present-from-god/

Do not think of the present but think for your future.

Fast forward to 20 years in the future....

Whatever decision you make will be yours alone.

Think carefully.

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A female reader, BButters +, writes (20 March 2008):

Put it this way they will abort(kill) your baby and that innocent baby will feel pain,they suction out the baby with a vaccum type machine(whatever it is called) so you can only imagine what happens next....it is sad Please dont let that innocent child suffer,that baby has no fault of your decisions that you decided to make and came out pregnant."Don't kill an innocent child just to live as you wish" Adoption is the most wonderful thing and God will reward you for that.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I know where you're all coming from - one one side the baby dies, but on the other, its probably best for me. To be honest, I see it as whether I should do what's best for me, or what's best for the baby.

I really appreciate all your replies and different sides to the arguement, so thanks again.

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A female reader, Laura1318 +, writes (20 March 2008):

No one is pointing a gun to her head and asking her to believe anything here.

She is very intelligent judging from her replies .

It is only someone who thinks that she should listen to her only and belittling others and the poster.

The poster can decide who she wants to believed.

You want her to make an informed decision but yet you want her to stop listening to others.

What makes you think you are right and others are wrong?

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A female reader, natasia +, writes (20 March 2008):

'Piss off all you pro-life nutters'???? Aren't we all pro-life? If you saw someone dying in the street would you consider it odd to help them?? I am anti-abortion not because of any religious beliefs, but because I trusted the establishment and my family and friends, and people like you saying 'oh, it's your choice', and I had an abortion, and it was the most dreadful thing that has ever happened in my life, even worse than the death of my father. And my PROBLEM with that is that people DIDN'T tell me what I was really doing - they bloody well glossed over it, so I'd have the abortion and 'remove' the problem.

That so-called problem was my own child, and they persuaded me to kill her. I'm sorry, but you can piss off with your anti-life rubbish. This girl who is considering abortion needs to know what she is doing before she does it, not after, when it's too late. And if she knows and thinks she's ok with that, so be it - THEN it is her choice. But don't try and stop people telling the truth about what is happening here. There is a life inside her, and an abortion means extinguishing that life. End of story.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2008):

I have a message for all you pro-life nutters.

PISS OFF AND LEAVE THIS POOR YOUNG GIRL TO MAKE AN INFORMED DECISION REGARDING THE REAL UNADULTERATED FACTS AVAILABLE FROM THE N.H.S.

Stop trying to redirect her to these stupid catholic propoganda sites and stop trying to make her feel guilty about coming to her right decision, whatever that decision be.

This is a young woman who has full rights as to what she wishes to do with her own body. Ejist I appreciate that this is completely alien to some of you it needs to be realised that nobody at all has the right to tell her what she should do - least of all idiots that have been brought up on the fear of the church who also seem hell-bent on putting this fear over everybody else they wish to control.

STOP YOUR BULLYING TACTICS AGAINST VULNERABLE PEOPLE NOW and leave this poor young girl alone.

Every woman has the right to choose and to take this right away is truly wicked and evil.

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A female reader, Laura1318 +, writes (19 March 2008):

You can view a picture of an embryo at 4 weeks here;-

http://www.paternityangel.com/PicsAndPhotos/FoetalDevelop/1stTrimester.htm

Whether you can consider it another life or not depends on you .

Those doctors just suck out their brains and body parts during the process.

Some of those doctors have conscience.

Abortions may cause pain to foetuses at a relatively early stage of development, a leading doctor has said.

Professor Vivette Glover, from Queen Charlotte's and Chelsea Hospital in London, says she believes that foetuses over 17 weeks old may feel pain.

She says doctors should consider carrying out terminations under anaesthetic.

From

http://www.ivanfoster.org/article.asp?date=11/1/2000&seq=5

You can read all about abortions on this site or you can Google it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abortion

Don't call people idiots or freaks in here, because it takes a bigger idiot and a bigger freak to recognize one.

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A female reader, korculan queen +, writes (18 March 2008):

Honey I hope that you are well and firm in whatever choice you decide to make. I assisted a woman with a further pledge towards her termination today. This woman already has 5 children and was facing being on her own with baby no 6. Really the issue of abortion should not be an issue. Being a dv worker I have seen some pretty sad cases of control where women a little older than yourself ask for assistance as they are having baby no 3,4 or 5 as a product of rape, incest and are battered and bruised and pregnant. Would it be wrong to assist women like this? basically what I am trying to say is that every woman on this planet owns her body and has the ultimate say and in this day and age has CHOICE. Do what it is is right for you. I am sure that the doctor performing the procedure will arrange for post procedure counselling. Honey it is your life. Stand strong and do what is comfortable to you. Take care.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2008):

please don't kill your baby.Give them up for adoption alot of people out thier would love to raise your baby. I know your young but do the right thing go with adoption. If you have an abortion you will regret it the rest of your life.I wish you the best of luck.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Okay thanks guys, I understand both your points of view, religious and otherwise. They're both really helpful and appreciated, thanks :]

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A female reader, carebear +, writes (17 March 2008):

Annalisa

Glad you got back to pick up on your statement wither it was 4 weeks6 weeks "what exactly did you see on the scan" A BABY!!! fully formed I disagree but what the heck. You are reiligous I just read another post about abortion and yes your on there saying the same thing why should she talk to a priest? it's a bloody doctor she should see not the church you are preaching she did not ask which church she should go to or which minister priest to talk to. Again I respect that some people are like this but please do not try to influence folk this way when its not in their question. I am not picking on you just stating the facts.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2008):

Listen, NO ONE is trying to make you feel guilty or bad about anything. At least I am not....I got pregnant during school and I was thinking about getting an abortion as well. But the amzing bond I had with the life inside me stopped my inital intentions. I have a beautiful son now. The most handsome little boy who will soon grow to be a wonderfully intelligant strong man. He is my everything and made me into someone I love. I love myself and respect myself more because of him. I am a better person now. Yes it is hard but I wouldn't ever chande a thing. I still am in school and working hard and fast torwards being successful in my career. He was meant to be here and will be great. You have to get both sides before you take action. I 3 You and good Luck

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you so much everyone :]

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A female reader, korculan queen +, writes (14 March 2008):

In Australia there are two methods for abortions. One is the medical abortion which an agency near to me gives the woman a series of pills and this will help to create an abortion and there is alot of bleeding. I think it is that RU pill.

The other method is by booking yourself in for a doctor who performs the procedure known as a D AND C. this is a dilatation and currette. The procedure is done under local anaesthetic and involves dilating the cervix and then using a vacuum type of equipment which then scrapes and cleans the contents of the uterus to expel the foetus. also there is bleeding post op.

Our organization pledges money for terminations and although I am christian my personal belief being christian is that I do not have any right to judge others on their life. I assist with pledges because it is the woman's body and HER CHOICE. The procedure in Australia costs $820 for the d and C and free for the medical abortion. The woman then gets $200 back on medicare. I do not know if you have a children by choice in your country but they also pledge money for terminations. Remember it is your body your choice and your right. For people to say they are christian AND JUDGEMENTAL OF YOU is not being a true christian. A true christian has love and respect for all people WITHOUT JUDGEMENT. Ok mate.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2008):

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not listen or take any notice of the way that GINA BULLOCK, ANNALISA, SEXSEAHOT, SHABOOZIE, and some of those pro-life idiots are trying to threaten and scaremonger you.

They are no doubt religious freaks that seek to control the personal opinions of others AS OPPOSED TO ACTUALLY HELPING THEM.

That is NOT what this place is about and they should be ashamed of the so called advice appaling as that what they give.

Get all the real information from hospitals, from doctors, nurses and the professionals who know their job and know exactly what they are talking about.

Look at some of the medical sites listed here and please take on board the previous answers of "Carebear" who offers good unbiased advice and so obviously wants to help you the right way.

We are now in the 21st century and it is about time we had our choice on matters - our bodies - our choice.

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A female reader, carebear +, writes (14 March 2008):

Hi again

Just to see this from another point of view its like teen asking about child birth, now everyone has diff experiance some have it easy some have it a bit harder, do we tell everyone that labour is a nightmare & all the things that happen? NO just because you experiance that doesn't mean someone else will, its the same with terminations poster I will assure you you will not be awake, they will not strap you to a bed they will speak to you in a helpful and understanding manner they will not judge you please do what you feel is right for you and don't think you are alone you are not.

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A female reader, carebear +, writes (14 March 2008):

Just to add you removed the bit about a baby being fully formed at 4 weeks I wish to disagree with that & I am sure I will not be the only one!!!!

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A female reader, carebear +, writes (14 March 2008):

Dear poster

My hear goes out to you, you are only young 16/17 and you have not one but 2 older aunts on here scaring the living daylights out of you (shame on them!) Annalisa and Gina Bullock just because you both regreted termination doesn't mean this girl will. Also I have had abortion at 12 weeks and you get put to sleep not in strapped to bed (god sake) they ask just before the put you to sleep is this what you want, are you sure so nobody forces you to do anything. it is hard enough to do this without scaremongering. I respect that some are against abortion for religous reasons and am sorry this happened to you, Annalisa, as I say I had abortion and it was definitely not like that. Please think before you answer these posts as this young girl needs care and support.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008):

Don't let anyone make you feel guilty for your choice- what is right for them may not feel right for you, and it is your body and thus YOUR choice and YOURS alone as to what you do with it. People will judge you for it, but don't listen to them. If you are comfortable with your decision, then there is nothing wrong with getting an abortion. You know what is right for your life and your body.

That said, call a clinic nearby your house, they will guide you through it step-by-step. They will answer all your questions and help you to feel comfortable. It is normal to be frightened and nervous but there is really no need.

Good luck darling.

xxxxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008):

Hey, firstly, please don't let those anti-abortion types upset you. According to the British Medical Association "mainstream professional guidance suggests that a fetus cannot begin to have the possibility of experiencing pain until after 26 weeks’ gestation" or in plan English.....having an abortion before 26 weeks will not cause the fetus any pain...so you don't need to worry about that.

Here is the link for further information: http://www.bma.org.uk/ap.nsf/Content/AbortionTimeLimits~Factors~pain

Oh, and according to the NHS, there is virtually NO risk that having an abortion will affect your future fertility.

Secondly, I am a 27 year old female who had an abortion when I was 22 and have never, ever regretted it. I was not in a position to bring a child into this world, and whilst I was using contraception - nothing is a hundred per cent full proof. I never had any feelings of guilt or regret because I knew that in the situation it was the best thing possible.

When I had my abortion, I went to my GP who referred me to a hospital. I had one hospital appointment, and then was admitted at a later date to have the abortion. The abortion was fine, I was asleep for it, and only had heavy like cramping for the next day. Then it was all over and I carried on with my life (without any regrets over having the abortion).

Go to your GP, who is not allowed to tell your parents, and have a look here for some more information http://www.brook.org.uk/

You are not alone. There is help out there, and please don't worry. Good luck lovely!

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A female reader, Fairy_Lu +, writes (13 March 2008):

Please do think about this long and hard and make sure your doing whats right for you, as with every procedure there are risk some small and some large including if it goes wrong you can rsk losing your ability to have children (its very unlikely but can happen).

Of course if you do have it ALWAYS remember to use PROTECTION!

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A female reader, Gena Bullock +, writes (13 March 2008):

"I need an abortion, but words can't explain how worried I am"

#1-If you are under-aged or live where it isn't legal-don't.

#2-Make sure this is really what you want.

#3-Talk to a preacher/priest/clergy or counselor

"Could anyone explain what happens when you first step into the hospital/clinic and onwards? Thank you so much."

If you are in school, go to your nurse. She will set you up with the right people/place to go.

You usually have to pay up front a few hundred dollars, so be prepared for that.

They will have you fill out paperwork and usually draw blood to check your blood type.

You will be put on a table, after undressing and given a gown. The nurse will strap your arms/legs in stirrups. They will give you injections to deaden the cervical area (much like dentists do when you have a tooth worked on).

Then the doctor will insert a long tube that sucks out the fetal parts and pieces into a vacuum. You will hear the sounds and never forget them. You will start to have cramping and bleeding. Once they are done (about five minutes-which seems forever) you will be taken to another room to rest, given orange juice and cookies to get your blood sugar levels up. You will feel faint. After about an hour or more they will have you get dressed to go home.

I had one done when I was 18 years old and that was 30 years ago--I was 2 days from being 3 months pregnant and it was not pleasant. I suggest you think long and hard about it. I would NEVER do it again. You never forget...

So, please make the right decision for the baby. There are other options, like adoption. Do talk to the school nurse about it or the counselor. That's what they are there for.

Keep in touch, Gena

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008):

You should talk to your doctor, it will be completely confidential and they will explain everything you need to know. Also, if you are pregnant it's important for you to see your doctor anyway. You will feel much better after you have seen a proffessional and you know exactly what options you have and you will get the support you need too. This is a very difficult decision to make if you don't have help and support behind you so I definately suggest that you speak to a doctor as soon as possible. xxx

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A female reader, sexseahot +, writes (13 March 2008):

There's two different things they can do for you. One is the pill that you take and the other is the vacuum that they use to suck the unborn baby out. As long as you are below the 3 months, you should be fine and no problem with having the abortion. Just make sure that's exactly what you want cuz you can't undo it once it's done. They will explain everything to you that you need to know there. They will answer any questions that you have. Just make sure you can handle the idea of having an abortion. It don't come into realization until it's already done, so make sure you are ready for it.

Good Luck!!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008):

Go to a planned parenthood clinic or other pregnancy help center (RESEARCH THEM BEFORE YOU GO! Some of them are anti-choice clinics parading as pregnancy crisis centers and when you get there they will shame you and try to talk you out of an abortion- google is your friend).

There are counsellors at the abortion clinics that will talk you through your decision and answer every question you can imagine.

It will all be fairly quick and painless- you'll feel cramping similar to that of a heavy period.

Really though the best thing you can do is to grab a close friend and go to the clinic with her and ask the people there. They will be very kind and helpful. It's really not that bad, and (at least for me) the relief you feel afterwards is astounding. I actually cried with relief.

Good luck sweetheart.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008):

Why?! Honey, honestly think about what you are going to do. Don't just casually say this as if it isn't a big deal. There are all kinds of emotions that come with having sex and being pregnant..whether you go through the pregnancy or not. The is a huge amount of guilt that follows from doing such things as aborting a baby. You can't go through life carelessly and recklessly acting out and not taking the consequences of your actions. Not saying you did anything bad, but if you are having sex then you should be responsible enough to protect yourself. I hope you really think about it. Its not something to take so lightly.

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A female reader, shaboozie +, writes (13 March 2008):

Please think this through before you actually go through with it there are so many things that are wrong with this that baby could have a wonderful life with someone who has never been able to have children and you are just going to throw its life away if you were adult enough to get pregnant you need to be an adult about this instead of taking the easy way out. You will regret and wonder about this forever. I am pregnant and i know how scared you are i am too but there is a live baby inside of you and you need to consider that.

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A female reader, peaches83 +, writes (13 March 2008):

Well it all depends on far gone you are really. If you are under the 3 month mark it is generally a pill that they give you which starts you off and then another which aborts the baby, a bit like having a really heavy period.

Check out this it may be of use. http://www.abortionfacts.com/

Peaches

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008):

Hello, well you may not like my answer but this is my opinion. They kill the baby you do know that, the baby is alive, and although you and some others may feel defrently, its true. I was reading an article about abortions and even at a few weeks old the babys respond to the pain of being killed. So please try a different option, you don't have to keep the baby, im sure there are thousands of familys who can't have babys and would love yours. please for the baby, don't.

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