A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I`m feeling blue and I don't see how I can ever be happy. I don't want to date or marry someone just to be dating or marrying someone, I want to share my life with someone I really love. Being lonely is horrible but I won't settle for someone I don't care about either. Well, the problem is that I'm 32 years old, and an American woman, but I'm not attracted to guys from my own culture. I KNOW in my heart that I never will be... the thought of the little boy down the street is just so boring and disheartening.I have lived, taught and studied in Mexico and Spain and my heart is in those cultures and I feel like they understand me. I think Mexican guys are amazing but because of my age I don't see how I can find one... they all tend to marry younger and by my age, they're all married or gay or otherwise not suitable. I have a few friends who are single and not gay but they are younger than me and probably wouldn't be interested in a granny like myself! I am in no way racist, and I DESPISE racists and racism, but I am just not attracted to white, American men. There's nothing wrong with them, I'm just not attracted to them. People say that I've closed my mind, but the fact is that I know my heart and I realize that white American guys just don't make my heart jump because the chemistry and attraction aren't there. I am not prejudiced but I know I'll never be attracted to an American white guy. I want someone with dark skin and hair and eyes who will be romantic and sweet and knows how to dance and speak to me in Spanish. Someone who will appreciate my music. I'm not physically or emotionally attracted to guys from my own culture... I am a boring white American woman from Florida, almost all my ancestors were European, I have mostly Irish and Euro Spanish ancestry. I think that Mexican guys are absolutely amazing but I feel that it's impossible for me to find one as a bf. I feel like I have to choose between being lonely and winding up with some guy I won't love. Please forgive me if I have offended you... I am just not attracted to white American anglo men and never have been. Nothing wrong with them, I just don't identify with the culture and don't feel physical attraction for those features. I want someone warm and loving with dark skin and eyes... I think that fair skin and blond hair are gross... maybe it's shallow but I'm human...Would a woman my age have a chance with a Mexican guy, or are American white guys the only ones open to me? I'm not interested in Mexican-American guys because they're no different than other American guys, other than slightly different features. Most of my ancestors were immigrants (long ago) and my family could not be more American. I am not tryi8ng to be mean but I know in my heart that I'm not attracted to white American guys, I feel like I don't have a chance with a Mexican guy. How can I ever be happy? Or do I just get over wanting a boyfriend? I think one reason I'm into Mexican guys is because my time in Mexico and Spain opened my eyes to the fact that I have the heart and soul of a latin person. I love Mexico more but I am uncannily similar to a European Spaniard. Also I love exotic things and adventures, and hate the thought of an ordinary life, and being married to some boy from down the street is boring to me. My mom says those are the marriages that work, but being bored does not meet my definition of success in a relationship. I play the guitar in a blues band and it's my absolute passion... Latin guys understand my love for the guitar, but white American guys just try to keep me away from it. An American white guy won't appreciate my music, he'll just squash my soul. I can't be happy with someone like that. American culture just seems cold and passionless and logical... I want someone with soul. I've never had a serious boyfriend, unbelievably I have never even experienced sex with a man! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2011): Look I really believe you have to take the whole culture issue from a totally different perspective.I do understand being part Italian and I had it fixated that I might want someone with some Italian. But in the end the right person for me was the one who loved me the most.There is nothing wrong with appreciating culture and your own culture.Being fixated on thinkinh that you want this and that for the sake of chemistry and romance really cuts out a lot of things, like loyalty, appreciation for who you are as a person. It is quite possible that you may meet someone outside your culture who as a true appreciation for all things mexican and is willing to adapt this into their life style. I believe if you do not at least consider this option then you may end up winding around in circles fixing ideas on the wrong things!All the best simply by looking at things in a different way - you may find the ideal person - from your culture or not! It's a good adventure - you do not have to know who it is going to be exactly down to the last detail right now - just to be open to the right thing.
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reader, gaydating +, writes (8 June 2011):
Hey I understand you. I'm Mexican but I'm gay lol..anyways, I'm not really attracted to Mexican guys. I LOVE white guys lol. You are still young. My advice to you, is try to go to places where most (if not all) are Mexican guys. You need to be exposed more to the Hispanic culture like going to hispanic restaurants, clubs, malls and places like that.
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reader, Adorskable  +, writes (8 June 2011):
 go to Mexican clubs, go to Mexican gatherings, go to Mexican restaurants, and you will find Mexican men. Your not to Old not at all. I have to agree with you Mexican Men rock!
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reader, lory  +, writes (7 June 2011):
 Cheer up... you are not yet over 45, and i believe life begins at 40. you are too young to that. and you do are not mean to american guys, youre just trying to be true to your self and that is your right. its also ok to be attracted to mexican guy. and YES, yes and yes, there is a mexican guy will come on your way, just keep your self healthy and ok and everything will be ok and your wish will come true..
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reader, mystiquek +, writes (7 June 2011):
 I can tell this is really bothering you because I believe you have posted this in slightly different forms several times on here. Perhaps I can make you feel a little better. I am a petite blonde haired blue eyed woman from the US. I too am not interested in American men at all. I ADORE Japanese men. I have from the time I was about 14. I can't explain it, I just find them fascinating. I grew up in Ohio and then moved to Florida where there were very few opportunities to meet a Japanese guy. None of my family or friends could understand how I felt, and many of them thought I was strange. I married (an American), and had 2 children. Something was always missing in the marriage, and we eventually divorced because of his alcohol problems. I decided to try again to meet an Asian man. Since I had no friends that were Japanese, I turned to the internet. I was very careful, and placed an ad on a dating site. After talking to them for awhile I met several really nice men, and my suspicions were correct...there was something about them that was different. One man wrote to me and from his 1st letter, he was very special.....we've been together for almost 10 years now. He is the love of my life, and says I am his. We are not together right now, but are working to be. I love him more than I have ever loved a man, and I'm happy I kept looking for him.
So sweets, what I am saying to you is this...if you feel that you really want to be with the man of your dreams..DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! Its not just going to happen ok? You need to help things along..talk to friends have them introduce you to their friends, family members. Join a dating club, try an ad on the internet (BE CAREFUL!) put yourself out there! You'll never get anywhere if you don't try. But anything is possible..and if that's your dream, its what you really want..go for it! My guy is from Japan, 1/2 way across the world and yet he came over here to the states for a job, and then we found each other. Want to hear something funny? All his life he said he didn't want to marry a Japanese lady, he wanted to marry a "blue eyed princess"....He too had been married and then divorced because his wife wasn't what he really wanted..so you see? ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE..but you have to work for it. There's a guy out there looking for you...HELP HIM!!! Don't give up. And don't settle for anything less than love and what you really want. I wish you all the best. I hope I encouraged you in some way.
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reader, HoneyEyedLatina +, writes (7 June 2011):
 I seriously understand where you are coming from. I'm hispanic and I'm not attracted to hispanic guys. I love white guys! My fiance is white and he has brown hair and blue eyes and he's not really into white women. Don't get me wrong, there are lots of good looking hispanic guys and they are good boyfriend/husband material but I was raised around hispanics and I just want something different.
I am not racist at all and I do not agree with racism. Everyone has their own taste and everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I'm sure white guys would probably get offended if they read this post but I'm sure some of those white guys reading this post are more interested in women outside their culture. See my life has been dramatic and everyone in my family is loud and wants to have partys or get togethers for every single holiday etc etc. I like men that are more low key and are comfortable with just staying home and watching a movie.
I'm not into partying and all that non sense. I'm probably the complete opposite of you. You are probably more into exotic people and places and have an interest in exotic food and culture and I'm laid back and had enough Mexico that I can stand. I have dated hispanic guys in the past but like you said, my heart did not jump.
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reader, DanceInTheDark  +, writes (7 June 2011):
 Look. You don't need to justify yourself. It's okay if you're only attracted to Mexican guys.
You're 30-35 you're not a granny yet.
Have you actually asked any of these guys out? Or do you just wait around assuming they won't like you?
Pick a guy, and just ask him out. Doesn't matter if he's younger or not. That's the only way you'll get anywhere.
Have you thought that maybe they're just to shy to ask you because they think you might not want them? Or too shy because they think you'll think they're too young for you?
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reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 June 2011):
 I think whatever floats your boat, whatever makes you happy is what you ought to go for. Be he from Mexico or Iceland.
Just realize that there IS a cultural difference between US and Mexico. Something you would have to asjust to and try and fit into, while still being you.
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reader, RedAthena +, writes (7 June 2011):
 You identify more with the Latin cultures. No harm in that!
Depending on where you live, are their groups you are associated with, families you know, church you attend, etc.?
Look at all your social groups. Tell trusted freinds that you would like to find a husband! You will need to get out there and meet people and identify who ELSE is looking:)
Do not worry about your age-you are still young darling! You have your own blessings to offer! Are there any dating groups or websites where other singles are registered in your area? Figure out all your OPTIONS, then start developing a plan.
Remember most of all-it is your confidence and believing in yourself that is going to catch the eye of an available, marriage minded gent! You have a VERY tall order for your ideal man. You have high standards. You know what you want and will not settle...just keep in mind that narrows your options.
Try dating for FUN and not with your mind that it MUST end in a wedding. That tends to scare a lot of men away.
Last, think about your local dating pool. Is the kind of man you want to marry..even EXIST in your area? What kind of woman would that kind of man be looking for? Could you be that kind of woman and still be true to yourself?
Best Wishes.
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