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41-50,
*outhernMan25
writes:As a young man 25 years old, I want to know if there are any other people from 18-35 who have standards and want to remain virgins when they marry, also would not marry a person who has been divorced and had kids of of wedlock?
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male
reader, SamuraiRick +, writes (22 April 2008):
 Dude, a nice girl I know is one of the posters that responded to your question, and you answered her back in a private email which was filled with filthy language. She shared it with me and I had to laugh along with her. The stuff you wrote to her can’t even be printed here… It’s that pornographic! You are an ASS and a PRETENDER. Don’t come in here talking about how righteous you are and then talking the crap you just did to my friend…you call yourself a holy man, a man who follows the Word? You are a fine piece of work my friend, and not only should you never marry or date women based on your pious and warped mind you do need to get some serious help from a clinical psychologist.
There’s word for you: NUTCASE. She didn’t respond to you because she saw through you and didn’t want to entertain your ranting in her direction. I can see you standing in your pulpit and whacking your dick off as you responded so rudely to her with your language which was uncalled for.
You play a nice game and you bring in your prepared Biblical quotes to defend your views, but when you get to send a nice girl a private note, the Devil comes out. You know… that OTHER guy. You are a closet monster, and you are the kind of guy women should avoid like the Plague. You are Ted Bundy lying in wait. You seem to be all good on the exterior, but when the lights go out in the most private moments you are the Beast. Charles Manson also quoted the Bible to defend himself. I think Daumer was also a virgin at 25.
You need to do a few things to straighten out your life my friend. I would say you should just get laid, but I would fear for the life of the girl falling prey to you. Maybe you are better off being Gay and letting some other guy fuck you so you know how it feels like to be a prostitute and an adulterer. Maybe then you can have a little more compassion which you sorely lack.
Among the great qualities Jesus had, Love and Compassion were the chief traits he possessed. The fact that you have not found a good girl for you by now reflects how much love you have in your heart. A man of God should also be a man of Love. And when you show and express love you get it back tenfold. Jesus had people flocking to him and around him not only because he said the right things, but he also expressed a Love that people were attracted to….God’s love. That love was expressed ultimately when he gave his live to save us and erase our sins (that is, if you believe in that, I’m not sure you do)
What I am saying is nothing new. If you are a Christian like you pretend to be you know that if you believe in Him all sins are forgiven. All Christians know this…why are you forgetting this?
You forget this because you are the “Southern Man” brought up with fire and brimstone ….raised with a church that preaches the Fear of hell instead of the Love of God. Why do you fear hell so much if you are a true Christian? Look yourself in the mirror and ask yourself that. Where does this fear come from?
I am not a preacher, and I don’t pretend to be one. I can speak the truth without quoting the Bible. I also have the common sense and decency to know that you are a Pretender and a Charlatan. A false prophet if you will. Whatever you are you definitely are not the Christian you claim to be.
I hope you do find God in your life someday. Then you can erase all this hatred you hold, and this selfish Fear of hell.
Peace out.
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reader, duskyrowe  +, writes (18 April 2008):
 Oh Tellulah what you said is BRILLIANT. I wish I thought of that lol. People on here must think us Brits are barking mad xxxxxx.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2008): Ok. Let's get serious.
The answer to your question, so far, would appear to be a resounding 'no'.
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reader, TELLULAH +, writes (18 April 2008):
 Jesus Christ and the Prostitue... Did you not know that in the Days of Moses that the Adulter and the Adulteress were to get stoned?
" Oh my God" no wonder they are all fornicating. I didnt even know they had drugs in those day's. Well you live and you learn.
Im off for a shag!! God be with you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2008): I'm the other "anonymous" and I'm not Southernman.
I am not a virgin, I am not criticizing anyone for having premarital sex, and I am not religious.
I am saying that Southernman's wanting a virgin spouse is just one more thing about choosing a mate. I see no difference between this choice and the millions of other things that people want in a spouse.
How many times in your life have you listened to someone say, "I'm not attracted to _____"? And do you self-rightously respond to your friends' issues the same way that you responded to Southernman's question?
And how many of those whimsical things that people complain about are TOTALLY stupid and illogical? And how many of those things are not even in (the afflicted person's) control AT ALL, and never have been?
On the other hand, choosing to have sex is 100% in control of everyone on earth (rape doesn't count as sex). It is a huge decision that everyone makes for themselves, and it tells you a lot about who they are & were, and it carries a lot of consequences & risks & potential damage with it. (And emotional damage from a relationship does not end when the relationship ends.) Choosing to have sex is just a LITTLE BIT more important than some of the stupid things I've heard people reject their dates over in my time.
You don't all have to like & support Southernman's choices & beliefs. But if you can't respectfully deal with his legitimate right to spend his life with whatever kind of spouse he wants, then maybe you're not quite as tolerant and forgiving as you think you are.
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reader, Twirly +, writes (17 April 2008):
 Hey Big Sis, I see where you're coming from, but I don't think Southern Man would have been able to come up with 'mandatory priority' and a whole post spelt correctly, so it looks like there's two scary male virgins in this thread!
(Im 34 so have just scraped into the 18-35 age limit! Oops but Im unmarried and have (gasp) had sex, so better pack up my lack of standards and get ready for hell!)
:o)
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reader, BigSis +, writes (17 April 2008):
 So Mr Male Anonmous, does SouthernMan, happen to be your alta ego by any chance?
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2008): I think some of you angry answerers are just as big of hypocrites as anyone on this thread.
I don't agree with bashing people for having different religious beliefs and moral choices. However, you people are full of crap if you bash this guy for deciding that marrying a fellow virgin is important to him.
It's HIS life. If you really are as "tolerant" as you accuse him of not being, then you would not bash him for making this a mandatory priority during his search for a spouse.
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reader, Danielepew  +, writes (17 April 2008):
 Last word from me. Yes, Southern Man, I will take my chances with God. Unlike you, he didn't enjoy feeling any better than anyone else, and certainly didn't cast stones at adulterers. He did dislike pharisees who took good care of making their "good works" noticed. These, he said, had already got their prize.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2008): I personally don't see the point in waiting til marriage for sex. Why would you deprive yourself of that? For what reason? It didn't make it any the less special for me. It surely takes everyone a long time to truly know whether they are ready to spend the rest of their lives with someone. For me, sex is a factor in that decision. It is one of the most intimate experiences, and during and afterwards you feel so, so close to your partner. Closer than in any other situation, and you feel completely and utterly comfortable with them. It is essential for a relationship.
Also, why would you not marry a person who has been divorced?? It just seems so terrible to me how Christians, and people of all other religions, are indoctrinated with views of what is right or wrong. What a generalisation! What if it had been a case of domestic abuse?? If you met someone who was divorced, fell in love, you would not marry them, because they have been married before?! I found my soul mate. He is alot older than I, and has been married twice before. In his last marriage, his partner was adulterous, and was controlling and generally not a nice person. She was a Catholic, still attending mass every week, and with children at a Catholic school. Isn't it wonderful how such a religion has helped to shape such a morally just person! Not. There is no way i would even have consider not marry the man i love with all my heart and soul because he has been married twice before. I lost my virginity to him, and he is the only man i have ever loved. He is not my flavour of the month.
What you have suggested is ridiculous. I have standards too. My requirements are to be in a loving relationship, where i completely trust my partner. Not what some book tells me is right.
I have no problems with Christians. Only with the self righteous ones who get up on their high horses at every opportunity. I DON'T believe in God, but i don't feel i have to take every opportunity to tell anyone who'll listen. Think about when the bible was written. Think about what times we live in now. It is NOT adultery to marry a divorced woman. Its just not.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2008): To the last answerer:
People can have preferences when choosing a spouse. It's not wrong. And it does not make them unforgiving & judgemental. (Do you wanna marry a man who is 50 years older than you? Why not? Are you age-ist or something?)
It is not this guy's politically-correct duty to go against his own personal choice & morality when choosing a mate just because you or I don't have his same priorities.
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reader, duskyrowe +, writes (16 April 2008):
BLESSED ARE THE FORNICATORS AND THE ADULERERS The Gospel according to St Dusky........... LMAO
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reader, SouthernMan25 +, writes (16 April 2008):
SouthernMan25 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUncle Phil...... you didnt have to respond to the question I posted to begin with, and you still dont....
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reader, SouthernMan25 +, writes (16 April 2008):
SouthernMan25 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou dont need to Bible( The Word of God) to believe in God..
Then who is your God? So live wicked and do as you please, Ariel.
You feel that people should not obey God, and you feel that the Holy Scriptures and the Word of God is nothing, but you believe in God?
Does that make any sense. If the word doent exist to you then why even follow God??
You have nothing to live by, you are living by your "soul", then you are your own God?
You believe in God but you dont follow his word, that is your belief...
If that is your belife that is Cool
But the things my God speaks against, I have seen those sins damage houseould and people...
Fornication:: Children growing up in pain without fathers... AIDS, Herpes, Cancers, Mothers and Fathers feeling ashamed because of the loosnesss of their children..
Adultery: AIDS, Herpes Stds, and Chidlren and women and men devastated and in pain because of the hurt....
While you spit on my Gods words Ariels, you must admit he has a pretty Good Argument agaisnt Fornication and Adultery and you can see it world wide...
I myself have seen the results of people who feed theirflesh, who destroy familes, kill people....
Spend your entire life running in and out of relationshipsm, marriages and it brings to you nothing but bitter lonliness in the end...
God upholds the righteous but crushes the unrighteous...
I believe in the Word of God, if You Dont then you believe in vain...
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reader, SouthernMan25 +, writes (16 April 2008):
SouthernMan25 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAriel, can you please make some sense when you speak. I didnt condemn anyone. Who have I condemned. I am on a romantic site asking were there any woman who had morals and standards? I think you need to read the question I posted. I have no problem with women who divorce or have children out of wedlock, I know I wouldnt be inloved in a romantic relationship with them because that is my prefrence.And I do live by the words of God and you live by your soul.Sins are forgiven but you must but crazy to think you can continute to Sin against God and then get forgivness over and over again and you constantly break the Law. That doesnt even work in MANS LAW. If i continute to break mans Law will he not lock me up...The Lord Jesus Christ says do not test me for in 1 DAy 23,000 died because of sexual immorality...I see I shook you too the core because you have backed up off much your rhetoric...Let pose this to you, YES THE LORD FORGIVES, BUT HE ALSY SAYS OBEY...I seem to have no problem taking the entire world of God but you are the one who seems to only be concerned with Forgiveness...... If I slap you in the face once then ask for forgivness, then do it again and again you wont continute to forgive me...The Lord does grant forgivness but once you cup of sin spills over you will get his wrath... The Lord is JUST... If you want his forgivness which he gives about abundandtly be not fooled, he also gives out bowls of wrath...I put myself under this same Law, and many who live are Lawless as you are... But like I told you before Ariel, I post scripture, you speak from your OWN UNDERSTAND, and that is the folly of many. God Bless You You see I have a set of standards I have before I enter in to a relationship, it will take a lot more than flattery, as I am sure as all these abused womens who you defend, husbands used flattery to get them. I come with my measure, which I also measure myself by......Most of you who seem to be offended? Why becase you had children out of wedlock and have multiple marriages?As a teenager athlete I was ridiculed for being a virgin. It was my choice i heard it my entire life from even friend you are crazy, I never took offense to it because I follow God.... They dont..I think if you go around entering in and out of marraiges having children out of wedlock, and you are offened because someone wouldnt want a relationship with you because of that. That shows to me that you do at least have a concious... Daniel, take your chances with God.... Good Luck111Ask yourself this Ariel, if a person values sex and marriage why would they want to be with someone who makes bad decisions and enters in and out of bad marraige, your argumen is: Well he changed.... MEN LIE, THEY USE FLATERY, whos fault is that???Here you have a 25 year old, God fearing man. I dont want to abused a wife, nor do I want to beat her too much with the word of God. I want a nice moral girl who has the same standards I have so when I do have children and maybe a little girl she wont just let any jive talking man in her panties so then one day after he has gotten what he wants for her he wants to beat her and leave her fatherless. I believe a wife should be a mans helper and partner. A believe a man should cleave to his wife and LOVE HER AS HIMSELF so the bible tells me this in Scripture,....But while I do believe in forgivness, when it comes to picking a life partner,unlike so mnay of you I am picky.... I dont want a woman who has been worn out, who goes around having children for slock talking men, I need a woman who when she was young respected her bbody, didnt let just anybody sleep with her, because I think she would be suitable to raise a young lady.... Finally :ALL YOUNG GIRLS WILL BECOME YOUNG WOMEN, BUT SO FEW YOUNG GIRLS BECOME YOUNG LADYS.... God Bless ALLModerator please post this ...
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reader, BigSis +, writes (16 April 2008):
"Bless'ed are the Cheese~Makers!"
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
The Gospel According to Monty Python...
....Chapter: 3 Verse: {about} 12
1979 AD
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reader, Danielepew +, writes (16 April 2008):
Wow. I think we should all let Southern Man be. He seems to enjoy this crossed fire. Let him live by his own standards and let us live by ours.
I believe he has a strong interest in sex, like everyone else, but, instead of just recognizing that and making a personal decision to stay chaste, he wants the world to know he lives by rigid standards, maybe because he is missing out on the fun and we aren't.
Personally, I don't care if he has managed to keep his flesh under control. I'm happy that I let myself lose control of mine, and I take my chances with good God Almighty. Like Oscar Wilde, I can resist everything except temptation. I wouldnt' sleep with Southern Man anyways :-), so his decision to stay chaste might just make another Sinful Woman available for me. I certainly hope so.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2008): And another thing - as far as I'm concerned, God is a myth. There's no such thing. You believe in a god if you wish, but you're not going to shove your beliefs down MY throat.
You're entitled to your opinions, just as I'm entitled to mine. So how about a deal - I don't tell you how to behave and you do me the same favour eh?
To me, you're little more than a joke, but keep going if you want to amuse me further.
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reader, SouthernMan25 +, writes (16 April 2008):
SouthernMan25 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionModerator please post this:::This is funny... Ariel says that I am speaking from the Flesh saying someone should abstain from sex before marriage and adutlery.Using the words of Jesus Christ, saying I am speaking from the Flesh??Sins of the Flesh are Fornication and Adultery... Think about it.And to the even more riduclous.... you are focusing on Scripture that are you own personal belifs??Fornication and Adutlery??? Foucsing on that???No, Jesus Christ focuses on that because he spoke against it all through the bible...Jesus Christ and the Prostitue... Did you not know that in the Days of Moses that the Adulter and the Adulteress were to get stoned?So how could those men stone that women only and not the men she slept with... Jesus Christ was correct...... unless you have not sinned cast the first stone to the men who USED the services of that prostitute...In the Law of Moses if you read through Exodus a Man and a Woman found guilty of Adultery were to be stoned..How is it self serving from me to avoid sexual relations???That is discipline...I was a star athelte in high school and a college athlete I am not a hypocrite trust me, I turned down sexual relations from many women. If you have fornicated and commited adultery .... Remember what Jesus told that Protitute.... YOU ARE FORGIVEN SIN NO MORE...Yes, Lord Jesus allows DIVORCE but not REMARRIAGE unless your first spouse is dead.... That is the lawWhy even enter a marriage with a person who belives in divorce that defeates the entire purpose...And many women who get these bad men, UNLESS they were FORCED To marry them... You get what you ask for...God didnt tell you to marry that man, you decicded.... Yes you should pay for the rest of your life with your poor choices or decisions./..SOme of you are funny, Why should I suffer because I married the wrong person??You made the vow before God, you are the one who more than likely didnt have your mind on God...Life is not fair at all, but God is just...SOme of you are too funny??Should I suffer for marrying an abusive man?? Well did you marry him? Did you test him to see how he acts when he gets angry???We are taught this in my temple... get to know peoples beliefs..All you woman on this board who reject what I say, most of you on your 4 and 5 husband or boyfriend...Maybe you are the ones who should be looking for young men like me... there ar emany men of faith who wouldnt mind a woman with a child, but a divorce woman never. You married him and if you have to divorced because he beats you then sorry for you, but you married him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2008): Let's face it buddy - RELIGION is MAN-MADE!
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reader, SouthernMan25 +, writes (16 April 2008):
SouthernMan25 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFurthermore ... I dont like Christians myself.... Christianity is one of the wickedest religions in the world with out a doubt to the Person who quoted Ghandi the man who called Black People Kaffirs which is a racial slure.....I believe in Holiness as God say ye be holy as I am holy...Christianity is a man made religion but I respect man in their faith and many in the Muslim faith...Did you not know that the Prophet Muhammaed said the Arch Angel Gabriel took him to a wide pit with a narrow opening and a wide bottom, and he seen naked men and women in their and he said Lord who are they and the Arch Angel Gabirel said those are the Fornicators, Adulters and Adulters.....God speed to all and continute this great topic, and hopefully some young person will be encourage to keep that chaste for their husband or wife... Dont do as pagans do young people trust me you will be rewared .... One marriage, many children, great wealth Divorce and out of wedlock children are costly both financially and emoitionally...Use your mind young people, be careful in entering marriage do your homework for warning signs...Children out of Wedlock ( Alarm)MAny sexual partners in their past (Alamr)Claim to not have sexual desries ( Alarm)Dont get me wrong sex is a great thing, anyone who doesnt want to have sex has a great virtue but dont marry someone who claims to be so HOLY they dont want to have sex. Many live that way but if you have a mind to marry and have sex dont punish yourself...Ask yourself, if the Lord can deliever the Sparrow to find amate, cant he help you to have a mate??Give you spouse a Gift, Keep Your Marriage Bed Pure.
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reader, SouthernMan25 +, writes (16 April 2008):
SouthernMan25 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSandman my good friend.(This will be my last response to you)Malachi 2:13-16Another thing you do: You flood the Lords alter with tears. You weap and wail because he no longer pays attention to your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. (14) You ask, Why? It is because the Lord is acting as the WITNESS between YOU and the WIFE of your youth, because you have broken aith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage convenant.(15)Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit, and do not breat faith with the wife of your youth.(16) " I HATE DIVOCRE," SAYs THE LORD GOD OF ISRAEL, I HATE A MANS COVERING HIMSELF WITH VIOLENCE as well as with his garment SAYS the LOrd Almighty..JOHN 4 16:17 He told her,"Go call your husband and come back."(17) I have no husband, she replied.(18) Jesus said to her, " You are right when you say you have no husband. The fact is you have had FIVE husbands, and the man you have now IS NOT YOUR HUSBAND. What you have just saii is quite true".1 CORIN6:9 Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexially immora, nor idolatoers, no ADULTERS, no male prostitues, nor HOMOSEXUAL,thieves, nor greedy, nor drunkands etc etcSandman: Chess not Checkers my friend.Fornication and Audltery are NEGATIVE, but telling someone they should refrain for such things is a POSITIVE.I posted a question to ask ARE THERE ANY PEOPLE WHO HAVE MORALS AND STANDARDS that dont believe in SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE or ADULTERY? All divorced women who remarry while their spouse is still living are considered an Adulterers to Jesus Christ... Maybe not you but I dont worship you Sandman.Jesus Christ said that over and over again in the New Testament and infact the Law of Moses Men and Women were stoned for adultery.If you dont believe in Christ that is your right, I am talking to believers not you or anyone else who does not want to follow the will of God Almighty. LUKE 16:18, Romans:7,1 Corinthains 7:39,Malachi 2:16,Matt 14I did not write the bible, I did not inspire the bible, Sandman you dont hurt me or offend me. I live by faith not by sight. I believe in what the scriputes says no matter how SWEET it is or how BITTER it isFurthermore.... Matt 14 John the Baptist Beheaded.....Matt 14:13Now Herod had arrested John and bound him and put him in prison because of Herdoias, his brothers Phillps wife, (4) FOR JOHN HAD BEEN SAYING TO HIM:" IT IS NOT LAWFUL FOR YOU TO HAVE HER."Herods wife wanted John dead because King Herod tole her from his brother.... He was beheaded...Now if John the Baptist was beheaded for speaking out against adultery.... I could careless about your words because I dont hate you, nor am I angered by your positionI will take everything you say to me and I will measure it against what Christ says... and as you know I will use what is written that is what I live by. You live by your own beliefs that is find. I dont hate you, wish death upon you, nor do i condemn you, Why would I condemn the adutler or fornication??? People who die as those fate is already written, but I come here to appeal to those who hold the standards and morals of God Almighty, and the morals and standards I have that we may begin a conversation..To the moderater I come here not to offend, but to talk about Holy Romance based on a spirtual connection between God and to builda relationship before you enter marriage and begin to have sex...I know it is popular to have sex, get pregnant, get married then get to know your spouse..But I believe in getting to know them, get married, have sex and then have children....If God created man to procreate, how could you not talk about God when talking about sex when he created sex and gave ruled to sex?As I said, live as you want, but dont hate me because I dont want to be a fornicator or adulery for it far worse things to be like a whoremonger, prostitute, these things are destestable even to those who dont believe...You can get gods grace but if you think you can contintue to sin against God as if he is stupid.... Goood LuckLove and Peace to AllI enjoy all your comment, just wish it was more nice women on the formum who have a little more stricter standards with their body, language and how they carry themselves..
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reader, Sandman +, writes (16 April 2008):
 "One writer boastfully says, The words of GOd arent meant to be take literally but by grace we are saved... The bible doesn say that."
Ephesians 1:5-12
5 having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, 6 to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved.
7 In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace 8 which He made to abound toward us in all wisdom and prudence, 9 having made known to us the mystery of His will, according to His good pleasure which He purposed in Himself, 10 that in the dispensation of the fullness of the times He might gather together in one all things in Christ, both which are in heaven and which are on earth—in Him. 11 In Him also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestined according to the purpose of Him who works all things according to the counsel of His will, 12 that we who first trusted in Christ should be to the praise of His glory.
Again I reiterate verse # 7, which YOU said the bible doesn't say - "In him we have REDEMPTION through his blood, the FORGIVENESS of sins, according to the riches of his GRACE"
I don't pick and choose verses that suit me. You will find a way out of this one, yet again. Picking and choosing your personal bible verses which suits to fuel your flames, but it's not going to work. Not all divorced women are adulterers. Not all divorced men are adulterers. I refuse to allow you to continue to pervert the word of God to promote your internal issues. I've already said it, adultery IS a sin, fornication IS a sin. But you WILL NOT state ALL divorced women and men are adulterers because this is simply not so.
I'm praying for you.
Hope this helps.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2008): I think it might be a form of abuse just to have to listen to you all day rant on about your views of human beings....and all your negative judgements about people who are clearly doing the best that they can in their lives and in their marriages all while carrying their own burdens and faith in the Lord.
You clearly are a confused soul and I pray for your sins of omission and lack of contrition, so there.
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reader, duskyrowe +, writes (16 April 2008):
LOOK SOUTHERN MAN DO NOT KNOCK WHAT YOU HAVE NOT TRIED. GO GET YOURSELF A WOMAN AND SHAG THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF HER. IT IS CLEARLY THAT YOU ARE SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED AND CANNOT GET A WOMAN AS YOU ARE A FLAMING NUTTER!!!!!!!
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reader, SouthernMan25 +, writes (16 April 2008):
SouthernMan25 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAll you people talk about love, most of you have already given your virginity away to a person you havent married.Most of you have been in multiply marriages or plan to get into another marriage.....Jesus Christ set up these Laws not me... I think a person past history says a lot about their morals, judgement and character.... Arugemtn : what about repentence... Most of you arent even sorry for getting a divorce or having sex out of wedlock because you were in love, but if you were in love what happen to the partner of your youth??When i say something I back it up with scripture, then you mock the words of god.....One writer boastfully says, The words of GOd arent meant to be take literally but by grace we are saved...The bible doesn say that...... Jesus Christ said unless a man be born again by water and blood he cant enter the Kingdom of Heaven, the word of God is Bitter and Sweet, you just cant pick through and take all the sweet parts but when something doesnt agree with you you want to spit it out....Who have I said I hated....NONE...... LOve and being in Love are two differnet things, I love my father I dont want to marry him, I cant love a divorced woman, or a woman who has had children by several men because she falls in love easy but deosnt mean i will be in love with her
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reader, SouthernMan25 +, writes (16 April 2008):
SouthernMan25 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIf I offend you by saying you souldnt have sex before marriage and you should not commit adultery? How is that?When you fornicate or commit adutlery (mod note: please, its spelt ADULTERY - good grief! )you offend yourself, I wont go to hell for your sins, you will.I will be in a horrible marriage because I wouldnt want to date a LOOSE woman, a woman who has kids out of wedlock or a woman who is in and out of marriages???And to the person clearly from the United Kingdom. who says I will be abusive towards a woman......Because I respect myself enough not to defile it with adutlery and fornication and look for a mate with the same belif I will be abusive...Deerjuilet husband abused her and I am sure he didnt have my same beliefs clearly...
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reader, SouthernMan25 +, writes (16 April 2008):
SouthernMan25 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo me a form of self hate is fornication and adutlery because Jesus Christ not I said that those people will not enter the kingdom of heaven...You follow God but you dont take what he says literally???So you basically laugh in Jesus CHrist face..I doubt this will get posted...(moderator note: wrong again.)
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reader, SouthernMan25 +, writes (16 April 2008):
SouthernMan25 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI find it funny that this site wont post my responses(In the eyes of the Lord you are a sinner if you remarry after Divorce...I never said a divorced woman is a prostitue....Jesus Christ himself not I said fornicators, adulters won't enter the Kingdom of Heaven....Struggle with Sin.... Who doesnt, it is a fight for the most righteous.( moderator note: we are posting this so there goes that theory out the door: and please try and use a dictionary it is most frustrating having to correct your spelling/grammatical errors)...
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reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (16 April 2008):
 Also, Dr Pete had an amazing answer I just read. I agree 100%.
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reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (16 April 2008):
EXCUSE ME? I do not have morals and standards because I am not delusional and wait until I am married and spend my life with someone I care nothing about just so I am not sinning? Are you kidding me? Do you realize you can have morals and standards without shoving them down people's throats and judging everyone you would date? And so that makes you a good christian, really? Calling divorced women prostitutes, yes you are one great guy, I commend you. I only wish I had your standards and morals and overall betterness in myself so that I too could judge people whom I know nothing about. For a 25 year old you sure are an immature moron. "you women who have been divorced and have children out of wedlock maybe you should look in the mirror at your so called mistakes and maybe you should have had some values instead of letting you vagina contol you...." I can't even describe my anger right now. So being in love is being crazy? I was in love and had sex with my boyfriend, damn I am a messed up mistake. So being abused is okay, the man is not at fault, but a woman who leaves him is a prostitute and a sinner? What the hell is wrong with you? Living by the bible means you can insult good people who you know nothing about. I get it. Have fun spending the rest of your life alone/miserable. Because what I have learned from you is not to love someone for their personality and for them being themselves, but instead to care about things they have done in their past and for leading with their hearts. Find yourself in a horrible marriage with a woman who abuses your children and sleeps around, then take a hard look at what you are calling other people who get a divorce. Go f*** yourself.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2008): Things are more than just black and white then you seem to be thinking.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2008): Well, maybe at 25 you can successfully weed out the contenders and find exactly what you are looking for.
However, life is not so black and white as you paint it, and as deerjuliet's story portrays, she is not a sinner in the eyes of the Lord....and she did the right thing by getting a divorce for herself and her children, she showed a lot of bravery and loads of character.
Reading your last post, quite frankly, you scare me. You are so narrow in your view that you are completely dogmatic, as if what you preach or think is infallible, and it isn't! I think you may have the propensity to be abusive to your virgin bride if she should show any original thought that doesn't line up with your way of thinking and viewing the world, it's people and the morals that should guide it.
There are many statements you make with the word should in it...psychologically this defines you as someone who has very weak ego boundaries and is someone who would have a difficult time in in a relationship due to mistrust, shame and guilt and also having trouble defining yourself as seperate from others, so you rely on maladaptive defense mechanisms like dogmatic thinking to cope with your insecurity caused from lack of knowing who you are and being able to set healthy boundaries with people, confusion of knowing where you begin and other's end.
More than seeking a strict type of person to marry, perhaps the work is yours to do, to learn to have healthy boundaries between you and others, you can stand for something and others can be different from you and you can let them get close when you want them to without losing your belief in what you stand for...without passing judgement on them you have the strength to love them warts and all.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2008): I think this guy is weird. He only PM's the women on here. I also think in all probability he's a closet fornicator who would fornicate at the drop of a hat and then pray for forgiveness. That would make it ok in his book, no doubt.
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reader, SouthernMan25 +, writes (15 April 2008):
SouthernMan25 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionPost a Question on your owns and get a response for your foolihsness.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2008): You are too literal. Not only that, you are only focusing on certain verses that equate with your personal beliefs. You are also JUDGING by calling divorced women prostitutes and the like. ALL divorced women are not sinners! Since you seem to be such a fanatic of the Lord, I assume you know your bible well and therefore do not need me to walk you to the specific verses which states when divorce is ACCEPTABLE.
There are many, MANY women out there who are verbally, physically and emotionally abused. There are women out there who's husbands cheated on them - some many times. A lot of these women stayed with their husbands for a long time before leaving. These MEN have caused these women much stress and hardship - but you call them prostitutes. You have effectively JUDGED them. But again, you don't need me to walk you to the verses that talk about judging.
I agree with another poster that stated you might want to consider counseling before entering into marriage. Not because you love the Lord and follow his word. Not because you are trying to be a good Christian and live your life right - but because I seriously believe you might have some deep seated issues that need to be brought to light.
Dude, I love the Lord too. I seriously do. I'm not attacking you. I applaud your love for our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. I'm trying to get you to understand that you can't use just some parts of the bible and not see others. YES, the bible states "what God has put together let no man put asunder" and that people who divorce with proper and due cause are committing adultery when they remarry. But there are some - actually, many who are not committing adultery because they fall within the spectrum of what is acceptable for divorce.
And don't ever forget that we are ALL saved by Grace. God's grace is sufficient enough. All we have to do is believe in the Lord and confess our sins to him and they are FORGIVEN! Forgiven, erased - expunged. Why can't you do the same?
Hope this helps.
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reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (15 April 2008):
 At 47, I'm too old too, but I'm with Eyes here in sending a great big hug to Deejuliet too.
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reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (15 April 2008):
 Since I'm 56 I guess you don't want my comments on your post so I won't make any (although the aunts on here who know me know exactly which side of the bread I'm buttered on). I just wanted to tell deejuliet, good answer albeit very heart-rendering, and to give her a big hug!
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reader, deejuliet +, writes (15 April 2008):
 I loved my husband with all my heart and married him with full intentions of being with him forever. For several years he treated me very well and we were happy. But over the years he developed mental illnesses that were not there when I married him and therefore I should not be judged on my choice of him as those conditions did not exist when I chose him. I did not marry a wicked man, but he BECAME a wicked man.He refused to get treatment for these illnesses and only got worse. He began to physically, sexually, verbally and financially abuse me. He began to physically and mentally abuse our older son. He raped and sodomized me, hit me, and stole my money from me. He even stole the childrens money from their piggy banks! He refused to be a part of the family. He would not even eat dinner with us, let alone go to any function or activity with us. He was delusional and insisted that not only was I out to 'get him' so was the government and aliens.
Now you are saying that because I finally had the strength to leave this man to protect myself and our children that I am a sinner?!?!?! Because I divorced the man my husband became I do not deserve to EVER find happiness or to get married and grow old with a life partner? How dare you! I do deserve to find someone who cam be the man my ex husband was supposed to be. Someone who will love me AND my children for the rest of our lives. How dare you say that I am a sinner and an adulterer if I should ever find this rare gem. I am a good, moral person and I should not have had to suffer the rest of my life in a marriage that was so abusive. Do you really think it would have been BETTER for my sons to remain in a house where their Mother was being so mistreated that they felt that they, at 6 and 9, had to protect me from their Dad? Do you think my older son would have grown up to be a good man when he was being constantly belittled and hit by his own Father? Do you think that either of them would grow up to be good husbands and Fathers themselves when the example put before them was so distorted and abusive? I had to protect them! I feel it would have been more sinful to stay with this man than it was to leave him.
Walk a mile in my shoes and then tell me I am sinful and dont deserve happiness.
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reader, SouthernMan25 +, writes (15 April 2008):
SouthernMan25 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAs a follower of Christ I would be a liar to say I have no sinned because I have.
Jesus Christ is my God, and my lord says:
Luke 16:18 "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
1 Corininthian 6:9 do you know thatthe wicked will NOT inerhit the kingdom of God? Dont be decied Neither the sexually immoral, idolaters nor ADULERS......
No way I would ever marry a woman who has been divorced because that is adultery.....
Jesus also told the Pharaies that Let man not seperte what God put together...
I should not have to pay with my soul for the mistake some woman made by marrying a wicked man....
I would encourage and love to be a sister of any woman who has had a child out of wedlock, The Lord Jesus instructs me not to in anyway put down a young child born without a father.... but his mother I would be marrying, I could never respect her... I could forgive her sins and love her as a sister but she would not be a person I would consider as a mate........
I spent most my life a nice and respectable young man, you are darn right I am fantic about the Lord.... Just like some people are fanatic about SIN....
I love all people sinners, the righteous, I do not stick my nose up at a sinner because I was a sinner and from time to time I sin, but not with my body, I sin with my heart but I keep my body in check...
When and IF I get married, I would not marry a woman who has been married before because I will not take away what God put together... and a woman who has a child for another man,unless she is a young widow would be unacceptable to me.....
As a young man I dont believe I could respect the mom. For that mistake of laying down and giving her body to some man and then me having to take care of his responsiblies the same measure I measure a spouse I to greatfully would like to be measure....
I dont want to marry a woman who has let any slick talking man test drive her and give her children..... Doesnt make me better than her, but it does mean we have different values and that is what the question is about DOES ANYONE SHARE MY VALUES.....
Funny people claim they love Lord Jesus Christ but in their post they would marry a divorced person... Young Widows Remarry it is god for you but you have women today that let this slick talking men get in their pants whenever and after the let those men turn them out sexually and give them children I should be punished. certainly lot.... brother and sisterly love i have no conidtion but as a wife there are many CONDITIONS I HAVE and maybe to you women who have been divorced and have children out of wedlock maybe you should look in the mirror at your so called mistakes and maybe you should have had some values instead of letting you vagina contol you.... God Bless All we were all sinners and allcan be forgiven but to makea prositute mywife would not have me equally yoked.... I get into the marige bed, Igive her a gift and she might not be please with me sexually for waiting for HER... Question was to talkto people who have morals and standards, not people who jump in and out of the bed with anyone whom they love at the time, I think more of myself than to be your flavor of the month
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reader, deejuliet +, writes (15 April 2008):
I applaud you for wanting to save yourself for marriage. I wish more people felt that way and I hope my children do. However, you should not say that you WILL NOT EVER be with someone who does not live up to your same ideal. You can say that you would PREFER a virgin, or someone who never married or had kids, but you really should not rule them out entirely. As other people have pointed out here, you could be missing out on someone wonderful by being so narrow minded. Maybe she has changed and now feels as you do, but it is too late to change her past and if you could only accept that that is how she will be in the future you could be happy? Maybe she did wait until marriage, but he beat her or cheated on her or left her and now that this wonderful, virtuous woman is divorced you feel she isnt good enough? You see? You also, might at some time ending up losing your virginity. It might be a moment of weakness or because you really fall for someone, or because you get to a point that you are so old you feel you might as well. Then you will not like being judged so harshly as you are judgeing others.
Try to wait for marriage. I am glad you are trying to do that. But when you meet someone, judge them on the whole package, of which virginity is only a small part.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2008):
I'd wouldn't agree that people who have sex out of marriage are in some way without "standards" as you put it, but then again I'm not some kind of religious fanatic.
Respect if you genuinely want to save yourself for someone you will marry, but don't think you are in any way better or more moral than the next person who doesn't, because I assure you, you're probably not.
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reader, LTron  +, writes (15 April 2008):
I believe in waiting until marriage too. I'm 20, so I have a few years to go yet.
In regards to not marrying a divorced woman etc., we have the right to choose our own standards. However, as others have said before me, sometimes we limit ourselves too much in these areas. As a Christian, I believe that a person's past is not for us to judge. I am given a fresh start by God every day I wake up breathing. This is a good sentiment to extend to others.
Having said that, I applaud you in sticking to your pledge. There are very few men your age these days who are willing to wait. Well done!
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2008): I believe there are people who think like you do. I was virgin until I turned 31 going on 32 because I got tired of waiting and knew I would not be getting married soon for money and health issues and felt I was too old to not know what sex was like. I understand that a person who willingly waits is more respectable than a person who engages in whatever the pleasure he/she wants with each partner before marriage. It's not fair to those who have waited. I still believe I'm smarter than those people who have kids out of wedlock and/or are divorced so I wouldn't marry one of those. Specially since I don't know if I want kids of my own. Imagine what it would be to tolerate the fruit of your partner's old flame who only God knows if he/she is going to like/respect you. Those people should get married with people with a lot of history like them. I believe there are a few people who think like you but of course, with time and age they tend to dissapear. At 25 it's still easy because I could hold it too. If you get to 32 virgin then I'll have to admire you. God blesses better those who wait.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2008): I'm 25 and waiting. I don't like children so I could never get involved with someone who had them. As for divorce it would depend on why. There are good reasons to get divorced such as abuse or cheating. Of course I would want to be sure that she wasn't the abuser or cheater before getting anywhere near marriage.
Don't let the world force you to change your standards.
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reader, Danielepew +, writes (15 April 2008):
There are other people like you. And there are other people who don't follow your standards, but that doesn't mean they don't have any.
A child out of wedlock is a child born when his/her parents aren't "legally" married (The Webster's definition, just in case). Which is a funny criterion to think less of a person. Civil marriage has no religious value whatsoever. From a strictly religious point of view, it is just the same as giving in and lying in the mud, in the hands of lust.
These remids me of a story I read somewhere. They made you choose which person you wanted:
A. A bad student who used to cheat on exams and was a heavy drinker.
B. A liar who had a fixation on his mother and cheated on his wife.
C. A very good student who was an excellent son and always true to his word.
In case you chose C, you just chose Hitler over Churchill and Roosevelt.
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reader, Cherriepie +, writes (15 April 2008):
 okay....I repect you views and whatever reason you have for being celibate until you marry, that's up to you....but really, I think you are narrowing you selection a bit too much..and the older you get the fewer virgins are out there to be found. People have live and have pasts, and that is something you have to accept about everybody. How can you condemn a woman who has a child out of wedlock...how do you know what choices she had to make to have that child. Maybe the baby's father was a jerk and she chose not to marry him. The fact that women have babies without a father around is brave by itself and should be respected not looked down on. Would you rather she made the mistake of getting pregnant and getting an abortion...would that make you feel better?
I imagine your reasons for being a virgin are religious, right? So my guess is the girls you meet in church would have to be the few you can choose from. Good luck! I hope you have a big church!
I hope you do find that one virgin girl...who is also a good match for you. But you might come to realize if you never find her in the next few years that you might be wasting your life waiting for that one special one, while rejecting some real quality people with your narrow view.
But how long will you go if you never find her? Are you planning on being a virgin all your life? I hope you dont waste your youth and let the experience of sex pass you up while you have your health. Sex is a great fun experience and you should not pass it up.
There is the ideal life you want to live, the life you should live and the life you actually end up living. the ideal and the actual life dont always match up, hunny. As you grow up you learn this. So my thing is dont let the good things in life go by while you wait for perfection...which is another thing, nothing in life is perfect.
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reader, lovingheart  +, writes (15 April 2008):
I'm sure there are lots of people who would prefer to stay virgins until they marry. If you and you partner have the same values then that's a great thing before entering into marriage.
I wouldn't avoid a relationship with someone who had previously been married though. If you have a strong love for someone then you really do love them for who they are and everything they've been through. That's what makes them the person they are today!
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2008): I applaud you for not wanting to engage in sexual intercourse before marriage. It says a lot that anyone - let alone a man, would want to wait until marriage before engaging in sexual intercourse. Not too many people believe in this virtue and as a Christian, I am glad to see someone so bold as to state their desire to wait.
However, you are denying a great number of wonderful and God-fearing women by ousting women who have had children out of wedlock. We as humans will make mistakes everyday of our lives, some more serious than others. We ALL sin and fall short of the glory of God. I can understand that you have a preference - but what if the woman now believes as you do? Would it be because you haven't had children out of wedlock that makes you spiritually superior than her? Is she not on your level? I implore you to think about that because to me, it seems like you've judged the person before getting to know them. I know a wonderful woman right now who is pregnant out of wedlock. In everything, she is perfect. But on one night she made a mistake and now will bear a child as a result of that mistake. But it doesn't change the fact that she loves God and will continue to do God's work.
Peter denied even knowing Jesus - THREE times! And he still found himself within the good graces of our Lord.
So before you oust them, give them a chance to at least explain.
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reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (15 April 2008):
I'm sure there are a lot of people like you with your standards. However I don't feel people should be judged for their past and who's to say the one for you is going to fit exactly what you want? No one is perfect and expecting someone perfect will only have you end up in heartache. Sure lets say you do find a nice girl who hasn't had sex. She turns out to be extremely needy. She is boring and you are unable to keep up a conversation but are not allowed to talk to your friends because she needs you. Does the fact she is a virgin matter so much now? And then you meet a wonderful girl. Sweet and nice and she just seems to fit you. You get along great and are truly happy then find out she is not a virgin and has been married once before *gasp* oh my goodness, how horrible! Do you see how stupid it is? You should look for the love of your life, not judge someone by things they have done. To limit your true loves to just virgins who have never been married at the age of 25... good luck. I doubt any of this got through to you. Might just be me being a romantic. In any case I hope I answered your question.
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reader, Collaroy +, writes (15 April 2008):
 I agree, women who have been divorced or had kids out of wedlock should be put in front of a firing squad. Then we would only be left with god fearing souls like yourself.
Ready , aim..... fire!!!!
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