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Are my ex's family being inappropriate?

Tagged as: Family, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 March 2011) 6 Answers - (Newest, 7 April 2013)
A female United States age 30-35, *argentsgirl89 writes:

My son's bio father, we will call him Cord, his family randomly called me the other day over and over and over and over.

WHen I listened to the voicemail it said,"Wow you sound really down on your voicemail. You need to call us. (pause) I need a FRICKEN job and I put my app in at (insert company name here) and so did my husband. You need to give me a good ref. Call me."

The company she put her application into is my grandparents company and the voicemail made it sound like she is demanding that I ensure her a job there, but I have no more pull than anyone else. And I know they won't hire her because they drug test.

I haven't talked to these people since December 5, 2010 and she is calling me for favors like nothing ever happened.

Does anyone else find this rude and inappropriate? Cause it is really iritating me.

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A female reader, largentsgirl89 United States +, writes (7 April 2013):

largentsgirl89 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

largentsgirl89 agony auntI have terminated contact with this family. She threatened to take my son away from me and never let me see him again.

Her son and I weren't married. He slept with me, knocked me up and then ditched me. I was on semi-okay terms with her but am no longer.

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A female reader, largentsgirl89 United States +, writes (18 March 2011):

largentsgirl89 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

largentsgirl89 agony auntI don't have communication with them as they to my knowledge are currently using recreational drugs and the only time they have ever talked to me is when they need something that they can't get for themselves.

I'm more afraid of this woman than obliged to do her a favor. I did wish her luck and I did inform her that I have no pull or say in who is hired. She hasn't talked to me since then because she didn't get what she wanted.

There was no "hinting" there at all. It was demanding. "I NEED a fricken job. You need to put in a good word for me. (pause) and my husband."

Demanding.

Thank you all for your answers, Honeypie, I def agree with you on that one. I know they won't hire her, they drug test.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2011):

Whether or not this was rude and inappropriate depends on what type of relationship you had with these people prior to the break up. Most folks remain on good terms with their in-laws after a divorce. It's the minority who don't that we hear about.

If you got on well with them in the past there is nothing wrong with continuing to do so now.

Her message didn't sound demanding to me. She may have been hinting about you putting in a good word for her, but that's about it from what I read. Let's be honest, if you really liked and respected her, you would have been happy to do so.

If you do speak to her I suggest you say nothing about it and let her bring it up again. If she does tell her you have no say in who is hired, but wish her luck and resume talking of something else. Keep the conversation light and somewhat formal. She's going to be in your life for years to come so learn how to protect your boundaries without making enemies.

Good luck.

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A female reader, lovelyeyes United States +, writes (17 March 2011):

Omg!!! How dare she talk to u like that. She's pretty much demanding u get her a job. I would call that women and tell her the truth and say I don't apreciate u speaking like that to me. Omg she's lucky that call wasn't made to me. It would have been trouble for her. She is realy rude!!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (17 March 2011):

Honeypie agony auntAll of the above, rude, inappropriate and jsut plain wrong.

Honestly I would call her and let her know that you have ABSOLUTELY no pull with the hiring and wish her good luck. And.. then I would tell whomever is in charge of hiring NOT to hire that woman. Yeah that might be mean, but there is no way I would want someone like that around me or my family (or the family business).

Call me a Witch with a big B.

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A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (17 March 2011):

dirtball agony auntDefinitely rude and inappropriate.

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