A
female
age
30-35,
*essabarela505
writes:Hi yall the name nessa. Anywho I have a slight problem. So my bf's been asking and complaing...he wants to have his noodle doodle up my a*s and to me that's just going over the limit... I don't know what to do I want to satisfy him anyway I can but whoa this is like more than I can handle. I'm actually frightened... I've heard so many things like one which is horrid where the girl just couldn't help it and let her bowels do their thang as well as her on him I don't want to go into details and that it's very painful as well. So I'm wondering a lot of lubrication??? I have no clue maybe this is one thing I won't be able to satisfy him in. *sigh* Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2010): To completely avoid pain and wierd things from happening, just don't have it. You can't damage your asshole, then. If he has a hard time swallowing that then ask him if he would take a huge dildo up his.. You know he won't. It's that easy to shut it down when he persists. People pretend it's safe, but there are sooooooo many risks involved with doing it, as safe and careful as you try to be. It's better to remain a tight ass, literally. You have to be firm about it when you tell him or he'll just keep sneaking his penis there and trying to talk you into it. That's just guys for you..it's not that he doesn't feel satisfied with going in your pussy, but it's the curiosity that's killing him. Better him than you, though..
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female
reader, dorothy2342 +, writes (3 March 2010):
 I agree with all the post. If you are not comfortable with the idea then don't do it. Some time ago I watched a progran call talk sex with Sue. She was a nurse with a call in talk show you could ask any type of sex related question and she would give you the honest clinical information about it. Her information about anal was this; He must always use a condom, even when toys are used they must also have on a condom, get a good thick anal lubrication, they are different than other lubes. The rectum or sphincters (muscles) automaticlly contract when something is inserted in the rectum. He must slowly insert his penis a short way until your muscles relax and then a little more and stop until you relax. Slow and gently if you decide to ever try it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2010): If he does talk you into doing it, give yourself an enema first....or better yet, if you wish to avoid having him bug you about this in the future, let your bowels go..all over him. That should stop him from wanting anal sex.
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reader, nessabarela505 +, writes (3 March 2010):
nessabarela505 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all this is all very helpful stuff. I'm actually talking to him now and he understands it's something I really don't want right now or not in the near future besides It Hurts! :P so I guess in my case I'm sticking to good ol fashion sex and yes he is a little of a porn see porn do? Kind of guy doesn't bother me but this is not for me. I try to satisfy him in bed because I love him and I feel we get so intimate when we do have sex he is very passionate and gentle not wam bam thank you mam kind of lover. Thank you all for taking time to answer my question. :)
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female
reader, BagLady +, writes (3 March 2010):
he sounds like he doesn't understand what anal sex is or what he is asking you to do. It is not like vaginal sex and the pain is not like losing your virginity and you grow out of it. The pain is something totally different-actual damage is being done when you feel pain back there.I think you should really have him try to penetrate himself back there with his finger or a toy of similar size to himself. Not as a prank, but anal sex is penetration both sexes feel THE SAME WAY. It is not the female thing like some misguided or clueless dudes think. Just because you have a vagina and your general sexual role involves you being penetrated to have heterosexual intercourse does not mean that goes for all holes.If he can do this than he will know how it feels for you and probably be more tasteful in his insisting. It will also show you if he is thinking about just himself or has a chauvinistic view for sex. You will not find it pleasurable sexually for a long while and perhaps not at all.I have anal sex with a great partner, but he actually understands how it feels. And when we tried it he didn't pay attention to just how awesome it felt for him, but to me-to make sure I was enjoying it and that he didn't cause me pain. And yes you can have anal sex without pain-we have it and I have been able to actually orgasm from it. Anal sex is very very intimate and if he is approaching it like a kid at the door of a candy shop, then he's not ready-At All.baddogbj is write (and he's a guy-so you are getting a male point of view)...how would he react to you wanting to mount him with a strap on if you thought it was hot and sexy? Straight men like anal sex too, so he can't pawn it off as a gay thing. Also, your limit is your limit-tread carefully with stepping over them, especially for a dude who is thinking about the thrill of sex in the ass.
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reader, Angzw  +, writes (3 March 2010):
If you don't want to do it then say no. But I would suggest that you tell him you want to try it but on him first with a dildo. I don't think he will bother you again after that.
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female
reader, BagLady +, writes (3 March 2010):
he sounds like he doesn't understand what anal sex is or what he is asking you to do. It is not like vaginal sex and the pain is not like losing your virginity and you grow out of it. The pain is something totally different-actual damage is being done when you feel pain back there.
I think you should really have him try to penetrate himself back there with his finger or a toy of similar size to himself. Not as a prank, but anal sex is penetration both sexes feel THE SAME WAY. It is not the female thing like some misguided or clueless dudes think. Just because you have a vagina and your general sexual role involves you being penetrated to have heterosexual intercourse does not mean that goes for all holes.
If he can do this than he will know how it feels for you and probably be more tasteful in his insisting. It will also show you if he is thinking about just himself or has a chauvinistic view for sex. You will not find it pleasurable sexually for a long while and perhaps not at all.
I have anal sex with a great partner, but he actually understands how it feels. And when we tried it he didn't pay attention to just how awesome it felt for him, but to me-to make sure I was enjoying it and that he didn't cause me pain. And yes you can have anal sex without pain-we have it and I have been able to actually orgasm from it. Anal sex is very very intimate and if he is approaching it like a kid at the door of a candy shop, then he's not ready-At All.
baddogbj is write (and he's a guy-so you are getting a male point of view)...how would he react to you wanting to mount him with a strap on if you thought it was hot and sexy? Straight men like anal sex too, so he can't pawn it off as a gay thing. Also, your limit is your limit-tread carefully with stepping over them, especially for a dude who is thinking about the thrill of sex in the ass.
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female
reader, veronika  +, writes (3 March 2010):
 Just because he's been asking it doesn't mean you have to give it to him.
If you're not wholly comfortable with it, don't do it. If he gets annoyed or starts complaining, ask him how he would like it if someone stuck a penis up his ass.
You can satisfy him without anal sex. Anal sex, even if one enjoys doing it, should only be a "sometimes" activity, because there are a lot of risks associated with anal sex, especially frequent anal sex. Only do it if you're comfortable.
If you are going to do it then, yes, a lot of lubrication is essential. You need to make it as painless as possible. Also, ask him to play with your clitoris at the same time, it helps it to be more pleasurable for you.
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reader, billy bilou  +, writes (3 March 2010):
 I don't understand why a woman should go that far to satisfy a man. If you don't like the idea and is frightened, just tell him the truth. He is trying to make you feel guilty that you cannot satisfy him at all levels unless you accept to have anal sex. He wants to experience anal sex with you and does not care about what you want. People watch porn films and want to do the same disgusting things they see. I believe it's not possible for a woman to enjoy anal sex because our anus is designed for another purpose. Why do you want to go against your convictions for a man? Don't you have a little bit of self esteem for yourself?
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reader, baddogbj  +, writes (3 March 2010):
 I have a generally pretty liberal attitude towards sex BUT anal sex is just not something that any girl, especially a young girl like you, should be pressured into. It CAN be painful if the guy doesn't know what he's doing. It IS NOT something that "everyone does" even though it appears in almost all porn films.
OR you could say "OK. But I have a really hot fantasy about doing you with a strap on." and see how well he likes it.
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