A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi guys. Just a quick question. I'm 20 and my boyfriend is 26. We have been together for 8 months. I really love him and he loves me. Everything is great. The trouble is we have started to talk about marriage- I want to marry him and think that he is the perfect man for me. But do you think I'm a bit young to be thinking about marriage? Non of my friends are married or even thinking about it. They're all single and seem jealous of my relationship. Do you guys think I'm too young for marriage?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (10 May 2013):
 Well, yes, 20 does sound very young to me to consider marriage. And, in your country, where people gets married earlier than in Europe, still the average age for a female's first marriage is 26.9, so... it must mean something.
There are , though, plenty of individual exceptions and at 20 you could be already very mature, and ready for marriage and lifelong committment. What concerns me more than you age, is the newness of your relationship : 8 months ? and just only after 8 months you want to marry him. Too early. You are both still in the honeymoon phase, which clouds rational judgement, you still don ' t know each other enough, and have plenty to discover about each other. You still are probably on your mutual best behaviour and real issues have not surfaced yet, or been taken duly into account. Wait maybe a couple years more, then, if you still feel the same... at least you'll have greatly increased your chances to not regret your decision.
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female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (10 May 2013):
 In 8 months this is still at fairytale stage – he’s perfect; it’s all rosy and sweet just as it should be… So nothing has presented itself with regards to making you think twice about him? Other than being too young…Sure you can talk about it, BUT to marry – how well do you how his character in tough times/situations. I’d want to wait and see what I’m getting myself into before I get carried away by Mr. Prince Prefect. This will only reveal itself in time, give it another year + if he’s good fella :)Nonetheless, he may feel ready at his age of 26; although at 20 there’s not much life experience to guide you; so you’d be subject to his rules and persuasion perhaps. If that were the case; it’s hardly individualistic, independent or an ideal position to be in. Do you have goals of your own that you wish to pursue; or is your sole focus on him? Take Care – CAA
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2013): When you marry you are locked into that relationship in alot of legal and financial ways. I think its something best to think about when you are in a good financial position and have a career. If you plan on going to school or get higher education it can put a strain on the marriage. School is expensive and time consuming. One person might have to carry more weight than the other, especially financially, which might create tension in the relationship. Therefore, I think its something to consider once you've gotten your education, figured out what you want to do and start your career. If you love him, I dont see anything wrong with being together forever and planning on marrying in the future when you are both in stable places of your life as individuals. Otherwise, I do foresee there could be conflicts down the road. He may feel right now that you both are ready but there is a good chance he will resent you in the future if you jump into the marriage now and don't first try to make your own life/career/future independently of him.Something to think about.
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female
reader, xAx  +, writes (9 May 2013):
 I agree that it's too soon to consider marriage in your relationship. I suggest you live with him first before having that talk. Living happily with someone i think is a good way of saying that a couple is very compatible. My boyfriend and i moved in together after 4 months, it was a very natural decision. I got to see every aspect of him. For example, how often he cooks, cleans, if he has any mood swings, how good he is with money, can we settle arguments, his porn habits etc You get to see the person for who they truely are. The fact that we lived together for 8 months happily told me that we get along very well and can last. I personally am not thinking about marriage as i like our relationship the way it is.
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female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (9 May 2013):
 Laci Green from Sex Plus on youtube did a video about getting married young that I think you should watch. It'll give you some things to think about in regards to getting married at your age.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aalpoITtYxY
I got married relatively young, but just because my marriage so far has worked doesn't mean we will be together for the rest of our lives. Some of the things you need to watch our for is whether or not you two are on the same page on things like children, how to make and spend money, and frequency of sex. Children, money and sex are the three biggest causes of divorce, so if you two see eye to eye on those three things, you have a better chance at working out long-term. There is nothing really wrong with getting married young as long as you two are getting married for the right reasons rather than as a way to try and "keep" him, or legitimizing your relationship in the eyes of people that aren't involved in your relationship (like you parents or friends).
That being said, most young marriages do not work, and being realistic about your expectations and your chances at is critical for the survival of your relationship.
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female
reader, marcellaanne2 +, writes (9 May 2013):
I agree with the other posters.You are most likely too young to get married.Your relationship is DEFINITELY too new to be contemplating marriage with your current partner.While love is very important in marriage, it's not enough. You have to really WORK together. And 8 months is certainly not enough time to know whether or not you do. You must share common ground when it comes to religion, life priorities, whether to have children, how to raise children, how to solve problems, how to manage finances, how to maintain a satisfying relationship when the glamor leaves and the (sometimes) mundane reality sets in.Almost every person that enters your life will leave. I know, it sounds terrible. But that's how life works. It takes MUCH longer than 8 months to know that this is 1. A person who will never leave you EVER and 2. A person who you will never want to leave EVER.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 May 2013):
 In the past I would have said no you are not too young.
I'm revising my take on young marriage. I think that under 25 is too young at this point if you have dated less than 3 years.
At 8 months at your age, even talking about it is too soon.
And I disagree with long engagements or engagements that are OPEN ended. Once you are engaged... set a date as soon as possible and make the wedding happen... no being engaged without a set date and plans to make it so.
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female
reader, maisy1 +, writes (9 May 2013):
Hey! i had the same doubt after my bf proposed on my 21st.
I accepted his proposal but latter called it off. Im coming up to 24 and looking back i realise how crazy it was to even consider marriage at 21. i am not the same person any longer, realise how naive we were back then and understand how blinkered i was. At 20 we plan our adult life, a few years down the line we deal with the realities of life.
At 21 me and my bf, friends,etc thought we were "adults", now i see how young we were. To be honest i wouldnt trust my current life in the hand of my 20 yr old self :-)
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female
reader, Xx-Scorpio-xX +, writes (9 May 2013):
 There's nothing wrong with maybe discussing marriage for the future and thinking about it, but personally I think anything under the age of 25 is a bit young to actually 'get' married. If you're going to be together forever, then there's no rush to actually get married until later. I'm the same age as you, but don't want to get married till my late 2o's, early 30's :) Enjoy life in a loving relationship for a bit first :)
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