A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I had two friends. Il call them friend A and B. We have been friends for 5years since grade 7 (now in grade11). Well, we had conflicts here and there but they never lasted this long. Unfortunately, something unexpected happened the day before yesterday. Let me tell you a lil about them; friend A is a understanding, fun and very patient friend. .when friend B is an absolute opposite of friend A. What happened: I was on my way home after school with both Friend A and B. B stayed behind a lil then they both began to laugh. I asked them what was funny when B abrutly pushed me from behind. I almost fell. They laughed again. I didnt like what she did. I told them how i felt about it but they never listened and kept pushing me even harder and laughing. I got upset and almost punched B. She took a step back and was like 'look A. She is upset. We did it!' and A was like 'yeah..this thing is a mama s baby. Let her go cry to her mama' both laughed. I turned with tears filled in my eyes and ran home. That night A called me and told me that it was just a joke, but never apologised. So i didnt believe what she said. From that day we never became friends again. I don't know what to do now. Im still hurt inside, having to face them everyday is a challenge to me. What can i do? I never told anyone about this. Was it really a joke? :-( Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Got Issues  +, writes (9 May 2013):
 Some friendly ribbing is fine but they were ganging up on you and being horrible. They are bullies and friend A doesn't sound fun or understanding, she sounds like a total bitch. In a way, the person who stands by and watches or eggs someone else on to bully others is even more despicable than the person who bullies directly. It might have been a joke to them but most decent people would see that it wasn't funny, just cruel. Your friends should care about you and be kind to you. From now on, promise yourself that you will only be friends with people who treat you well. The danger with friendships, as with romantic relationships, is that toxic friends can eat away at your self-confidence and self-esteem so that you continue inviting bad people into your life. Make a decision now to do what you need to do to eliminate toxic people from your life. You may still be in class together but you don't have to give them a moment of your time. The world is full of bad people, there's nothing you can do about that. You have to live alongside them but you don't have to waste any energy on them. Get involved in sports or after-school activities to meet more people who share your interests and make some actual friends.
A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (9 May 2013):
With friends like that you don't need enemies.
Don't worry and wonder about what people like that do. Just be a good person and have enough strength to leave people when you realize they aren't right for you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2013): No, it was not a joke! You were being bullied.I understand how you feel. Your feelings are hurt because you really expected friend A to behave better. They both ganged up on you. What they did to you is unacceptable. You did the right thing by no longer being their friend.Pushing, hurting, and name-calling is not a joke. It's mean! A is just as guilty as B!You also have to be a little tougher to let people know they can't just push you around. Be brave as you can. If you act too afraid, they will continue to bully you. Neither will apologize for what they did. That proves that they are not really your friends. Sometimes you have to stand up to bullies. By ending the friendship, you stood up for yourself. Good job! So forget about them and make new friends. They only said they were joking, because they are afraid you might tell someone what they did. They're afraid of getting into trouble. If they push you again, TELL SOMEONE! Your parents and the school principal. Don't let words bother you. Ignore them.Pull yourself together. Do the things you like to help you forget about it. This is all a part of growing up.You'll become stronger and braver over time. You do that by just facing them at school and acting like nothing ever happened. Never let them know you're scared.
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