A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Scenario: After meeting her through a friend at a salsa event, we connected through Facebook. I live about 6 hours way. I picked her up from her flight after New Years so she could take her week long course. I hosted her when she was back for a networking, and it was really nice to be able to make her dinner, and that day it turned to more cuddle buddy and such.My questions:She's graduating from her Master. I'm wondering if I'm crazy to drive back to see her walk? She seemed clear she wasn't interested in long distance or dating. I know I need to drive up because she's spending another week. And I'm also asking if this is even a good idea...I haven't felt like this strong of feelings about a person in a long time. Advice and point of views are much appreciated.Thank you!
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAlso her family won't be able to make the event, but that adds only a small factor. Only known her since Sept 2011.
And well to have her stay for a week for a summer course. Should I be okay with that? I guess I said I can host her. I don't want to say nahj not a good idea or all of a sudden say no. Maybe I just answered my own question.
A
male
reader, Tom Obler  +, writes (10 May 2012):
 Hi,
She has already said no to dating and long distance. So, ask yourself, if the reason you are driving 6 hours to see her is the "hope" you might date her. I believe you would need to be invited to go up there and not gate crash it. Has she invited you there? Have you both spoken about the graduation? You see, an important event like this is that she would want to share with you if she had feelings. Don't go unless she invites I'm afraid. Save the gas and disappointment.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (10 May 2012):
 Don't do it.. She made clear she is not interested, she does not want to date, and you aren't even longtime friends or close friends. Just Facebook friends that ONCE got a bit cuddly, and she left it at that. I think she could see you driving 6 hours to pop up uninvited to her graduation as intrusive, or downright creepy.
Women love excessive, romantic gestures... only if they already like the guy; if they don't, big gestures piss them off :)
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (10 May 2012):
 I would definitely see what she thinks about this idea. Chances are it will be a family event and since you have not known her that long I could see it being a bit of an awkward situation even as just a friend.
It's nice that you want to be there for this moment but you should definitely ask and accept the answer that she gives you.
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