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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: How can I be comfortable with the fact that I dont drink or do drugs. Last night, I went out with my friends to a partyhiuse and there was rndless amounts of drinks and drugs there. I never drink, so I am the sober one. I have some friends who do smoke and drink because I dont judge them for doing it. Sometimes they make me think about why I dont do that stuff. The only response I had in my head was that I dont like drugs/drinking and that I want to meet a girl who will like that about myself. My only ex broke up with me because she thought we were too different. She liked getting drunk and I would take care of her. Is my dislike of this stuff going to hinder my ability to find a loving and beautiful girlfriend? I feel like if you dont drink people think you are a loser as do girls. Is that true?
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female
reader, lmao1989  +, writes (22 January 2013):
 I am 24 years of age and i really don't like clubbing! You don't always find girls from clubs i never found my boyfriend from there i met him through a mutual friend.
Just because you don't drink or do drugs doesn't mean you can't go out clubbing with your friends and dance and find a girl. If they're shallow and dislike you because you don't drink or do drugs they're obviously not for you.
My boyfriend hates clubbing he does drink but both of us don't drink on occasion but sometimes he drinks when i don't and same with me i'll drink he doesn't.
Just something we do.
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female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (17 January 2013):
 I like what Sageoldguy said.
You are not a loser, you are the opposite of it. I dont smoke or drink either and I'm proud of my choices. Good for you, to stick for what you think is right. Always stay true to yourself.
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female
reader, Dayzy  +, writes (17 January 2013):
If I didn't smoke when I was young I would now breaathe better and have better skin. If I didn't drink and take drugs I would now have more brain cells. If I didn't sunbake for hours I wouldn't have so many wrinkkes and be having to check for malenomas.
The only things I regret in life are smoking, drinking, taking drugs and sunbaking.
Also have you seen how stupid drunks are.
Eat healthy, drink plenty of water, smoke nothing, exercise and only get some sun. You won't regret any of these.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2013): "I would love to go out clubbing with a future girlfriend from time to time. That's what makes finding that girl very difficult. Not a drinker, but definitely a girl who would love dancing with her 'not so good' boyfriend."There are girls who would love to occasionally go clubbing and dancing with a not-so-graceful boyfriend, but as kenny astutely points out those girls aren't hanging out at clubs every weekend. If you want a smart, responsible girl who knows how to enjoy herself but also appreciates moderation, then start frequenting places and events that would attract females with compatible POVs. When you do go clubbing, perhaps you could master the art of nursing an alcoholic drink by keeping it in your hand for hours, using your free hand to occaisionally quench your thirst with water or soft drinks. As long as you have a beer in your hand, you'll feel less conspicuous and nobody will be keeping score.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all the answers everyone!I was concerned that I wasn't going to meet the girl I want because of it. Mind you, not drinking and doing drugs severely limited the amount of girls interested in me in high school and college so far, but these answers make me feel better about myself. I don't dislike dancing/clubbing however and while I'm not the best at dancing (very far from) I would love to go out clubbing with a future girlfriend from time to time. That's what makes finding that girl very difficult. Not a drinker, but definitely a girl who would love dancing with her 'not so good' boyfriend.
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female
reader, oldbag +, writes (16 January 2013):
 Hi
At least if your sober you will remember meeting a gorgeous girl, plus no beer goggles so she will actually be as you remember!
Look its sort of a right of passage the drinking, carefree stuff at your age. Drugs is always a definate NO and I admire your strength of character avoiding them.
You don't have to get blind drunk, just a couple, or even soft drinks, if you want to socialise with them.
Not every girl wants to be out of it every weekend, just like you don't and there are other ways to spend your free time, that's where your likely to meet girls who have the same outlook as you.
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female
reader, confuzzledamethyst +, writes (16 January 2013):
 Where I live its really uncool to do that stuff anyway. I would stay the sober one, at least you show responsability and can take care of your mates, no one can force you to do that stuff, if people try to then they aren't very good mates to you are they?? stay sober it's a hell of a lot safer :) xx
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female
reader, lmao1989 +, writes (16 January 2013):
Not at all, your ex should have appreciated the fact that you'd take care of her when she was drunk and be grateful you aren't the losers doing drugs... doing drugs get's your nowhere! and if you did that'd be wrong for another girl!Drink, well it's not that great tbh, I don't really like the taste of it. I do drink, don't get me wrong and it's a good laugh, but I can go a hell of a long time without drinking.You just need to find the right girl who'll appreciate how down to earth you are and appreciate that you're not a drug user and you don't mind if they drink.You're far from a loser. Just got to find Miss Right who'll accept your personality as you are.
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female
reader, person12345  +, writes (16 January 2013):
 Why would that make you a loser? I have smoked pot, but it's always been for some sort of ailment (nausea, anxiety, etc...). I just plain hate the way alcohol makes me feel so I don't drink. I haven't been called a loser since middle school. Most people who know me would say the opposite.
There's nothing wrong sticking to what you want to do. If people try to make you feel bad for your choices, then they're not the right friends for you. I don't think I would be compatible with my boyfriend if he went out to bars and got drunk as an activity and that's fine. The right woman for you won't judge you.
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (16 January 2013):
 You ask: "How can I be comfortable with the fact that I dont drink or do drugs?"
Here's how:
You "say" to yourself: "Anybody who drinks to excess or does drugs in any form, is a LOSER,.... and, by not partaking of either of those,.. ergo, I AM A WINNER"!!!!!!!
If necessary, it's OK to repeat this message to yourself until it sinks in.....
Good luck....
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male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (16 January 2013):
 In that culture if u dont drink, ur weird or lame or whatever. Ha look at me that's what I say, can't get big if ur out boozin. Conform. Have one or two drinks but dont get drunk just show ppl ur moderate they'll accept you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2013): No. You would be a loser if you did do that, so well done for not for not giving in to peer pressure.
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male
reader, kenny +, writes (16 January 2013):
 Good on you for being your own person and not drinking and doing drugs because everyone else is doing it, that takes a strong willed person and you should be proud of your self, you are anything but a loser.
As for hindering you finding a loving beautiful girlfriend i would not say it will hinder you atal. When you find the girl for you it will be seen as a positive. Your best bet would be to frequent places where drinking/smoking ect does not take place, the gym, book/coffee shop, evening class, where you have a common interest with girls you meet, and you can both be yourself.
Good luck
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2013): "Is my dislike of this stuff going to hinder my ability to find a loving and beautiful girlfriend?"No, it will only enhance it. Just be forewarned that finding a compatible girl who meets your high standards may take some weeding out before you find the right girl, although by then she will have also weeded out her share of losers. But the wait will be worth it; be patient now, and in a few short years that will go by before you know it, you will be glad you did."I feel like if you dont drink people think you are a loser as do girls. Is that true?"Not true at all. Drinking and drugs have damaging long-term effects that are not yet apparent at your age. There are a lot of people in their twenties, thirties and forties who now regret their drinking and drugging as teens; very few (if any) who regret being sober.Never lower your standards or compromise your principles to follow the crowd. You will never regret being true to yourself.
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