A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok so I started seeing this guy and we dig each other. The other night we had sex for the first time and everything was going well.... we had amazing sexual chemistry and couldn't keep out hands off each other. Throughout the night he kept telling me that it's been a long time since he's had good sex like we had just did and thought it was amazing. The next day he seemed normal and we texted per usual but after that he said.... "Can I tell you something?" I was not expecting to get the answer I got but he then said... "Your butt smelled". I was shocked and embarrassed to no end. I have never had any guy tell me that before.. i shower twice a day and am completely girly and pride myself in that. Guys always have told me how good i smell so this really hurt my feelings and left me extremely confused. All I said was... I dont know what to say to that. And all he said was... Indeed. I'm honestly hurt and offended that he'd say something like this and why he did.... I havent replied back to him since because I don't even know how to get over that awkwardness. Im extremely clean so what gives?? and for a disclaimer... hes not trying to pull some joke on me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2013): If you do not use soap and water down there after you do your business or wash down there before sex there is a good possibility he is telling the truth. Every time I do my business afterwards I wash down there with soap and water whenever it's possible. Nobody likes to be told that they smell unpleasantly. When i was in the military at one time I didn't use underarm deodorant because I read in a book kit was unhealthy and I was very health conscience. I had a roommate who tried to hint to me that maybe i should start to use deodorant and I would explain to him my reasons why I shouldn't. Seeing he couldn't get me to understand he just became blunt and told me i stunk. I was startled and shocked but i knew he wasn't trying to be mean or hurtful. Afterwards i was thankful ( and so were the other members of mine platoon )that he alerted me this problem. The first female i had sex with had that problem. This was before the internet so I thought it was normal. In the moment I could get over the smell because the sex was good but days later that smell was associated with sex for me. I started to think if sex smelled like all the time this then sex was not all that it was claimed to be and i could do without it. Luckily the second female i was with did not have this problem and it restored my faith in sex could smell good and feel good. So what I am trying to say be thankful he alerted you to this problem because if he didn't every time in the beginning of a relationship the minute after you would have sex would be the minute they would break off the relationship. Then you would be wondering if they really liked you or was they just after sex when there was another reason they stopped seeing you that you was clueless about.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2013): I suggest you text him back and say "so does yours but you don't see me bringing it up"
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2013): You are not alone. I had guys telling me things not often but a few time I had to listen to a peculiar description of my vagina. It went from me being very tight to big. I think it's. Very low class to describe someone in this manner. By the way his butt smells no different than yours, becaus we poop from there. If you wash it before sex it wouldn't smell anything for a couple hours. and then the natural smell comes in. I have a habit now to put some good smelling lotion there that lasts. But anyway his remark is just awfull. He is obviously is not very smart. If he was smart he would put some nice body cream on you next time without saying something very rude
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2013): Hi - Completely agree with Caring Guy. Unfortunately this person is intense, gets what he wants and then turns abusive to get rid of someone because he has no intention of a relationship. I am absolutely sure your butt is just like everyone else's so please don't become concerned. You sound clean to me :-) I would personally not respond at all which will demonstrate you are the better person. He is horrible and immature and nobody would text someone that who was a decent honourable man. Learn not to give yourself until you are happy you know someone better - I'm not judging you just have been in your situation. I slept with a guy quite soon for example and then he told me he thought that up close I was quite ugly which temporarily made me angry and upset. I then found out he had a long term girlfriend and that he did this to make sure I had nothing to do with him (hated him in fact) afterwards to preserve his 'relationship'. The joke was that because I did not rise to his horrible words about a year later he got in touch with me by email to say that although we had ended badly he still thought about me and wanted to chat. I completely ignored him and blocked his emails. Feel amazing for being strong.... x
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female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (8 July 2013):
 His text reflects how totally inappropriate, rude, insensitive and ridiculous he is!
Anyone with half a brain would understand that odours are about within certain positions/conditions… And whilst he may have a sensitive nose and you’re extremely clean; the only ‘bad smell’ is obviously coming from him!?
It’s no wonder; …“throughout the night he kept telling you that 'it's been a long time' since he's had good sex” Well of course it’s been a long time for him; his text just proved why; HE STINKS! :(
CAA
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (7 July 2013):
That's something that happens once in awhile no matter how clean you normally are. For him to KNOWINGLY embarrass you like that is unforgivable in my opinion.
He also could just be an asshole who likes to make people feel bad.
Either way you're lucky you found out sooner than later. Block him!
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (7 July 2013):
 He sounds like an idiot. What man doesn't have the courtesy to keep quiet about things like that, if indeed your butt did smell? Why was he sticking his nose up your butt for, I wonder. Of course you smell, everyone has natural odour. But if he meant that you smelled like poop then what a rude comment to make, and especially like that. He's really rude!
If you did smell, and to the point where it actually bothered him enough that he wanted to tell you, then he should absolutely say these matters in PERSON, not on a text message. And then it should be because he wants to know how things can improve, not just leave you hanging with an "indeed".
So, there's two options here. And, no, no potential smell of your butt justifies this comment. Your butt probably smells just fine. So the two options really are these:
1) He's an idiot, literally, as any man with intelligence would know better than to say such a thing over text message (or say them at all).
2) A friend of his pulled a prank on him and texted you the message just to screw his friend over. In which case, he's got an idiot friend.
I suggest you don't contact him, and see what happens next. If you haven't heard from him in a week just let it go and move on as it appears he wasn't worth much after sex. If he does contact you then bring it up. You deserve an apology. Forgive the trespassing based on how good of an apology he gives you. If he honestly can't see where he went wrong then he's an idiot, and I wouldn't waste my time on him. This one is up there with visiting the in-laws and telling them how ugly their house looks, or how bad the dinner was...
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female
reader, Sarahss +, writes (7 July 2013):
 I think this is his line to get rid of the girls after having sex with them. He probably has said this to other girls too, but this is not something that a person shares with others about herself, so his words would not be spread among the girls. This way he keeps dating girls snd using his old line to get rid of them every time. In summary, he is a total jerk and you should not bother thinking about him or what he said even for a sec.
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female
reader, theres_always_a_loophole +, writes (7 July 2013):
 Is he from a country where people wash their butts after they go to the bathroom? If so, he would be able to sense an odor whereas other guys you've been with might not. If they were all American, and he wasn't, that would make sense.
Another possibility is he's just making up a lame excuse not to see you again.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2013): Dump him!
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2013): Hi. I think he.s a horrid uncouth guy,and you should have nothing to do with him again. He probably said it to stop any more contact. Delete his number, don.t take any calls from him,and move on to someone who deserves you. Good luck. X
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female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (7 July 2013):
 Wow...I can imagine how you must feel..hurt/embarrassed/confused and maybe even angry. How awful! He's not too classy, that's for sure. I have to agree with Caringguy..I think he got what he wanted, had no intention of seeing you again and wanted to make sure you wouldn't want to see him again so he said something totally offensive to make sure all the bridges were burned. Forget him, do not ever contact him again. I seriously doubt if you have an odor problem, sweetie.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2013): where does he come from and where do you come from? Some things are normal in some parts of the world but not in the other parts.I was grown up in a country where there was a bidet hose in every toilet and everyone washed the backside after doing their business. When I moved into another country where people wipe, I could clearly sense the smell coming from their rears. But they don't sense it because they are used to it.He may have been trying to hurt you, or he may really have sensed something that you don't.
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male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (7 July 2013):
 Loool ahh at least he was honest. Would u rather have him hide this from you?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2013): I'm not too sure why he felt the need to tell you that.I mean, you're human and sometimes things like that naturally occur.You need to ask yourself whether this is something you'll be able to move past. Will you feel uncomfortable/paranoid if you were to sleep together again?Has he attempted to contact you since? Maybe wait for his next move, and if he doesn't message/call within the next few days... forget about him.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2013): That's such a bizarre statement to make. You've got yourself a very insensitive, immature guy on your hands with absolutely no filter or any concept of having concern for your feelings. I wouldn't even try to figure out his intentions. He has got a lot of growing up to do plain and simple. I'd dish it right back to him and tell him, "well, I apologize for my foul smelling butt. Since we're on the subject I thought I too would let you know that your breath is disgusting. And you're terrible in bed." And don't let him know his crass statement hurt you, act like you don't care and then don't talk to him again. This guy sucks.
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male
reader, Illithid +, writes (7 July 2013):
 That's weird. My girl occasionally is a little ripe after a long day, that's never stopped ME from going back to her for a little something-something, even if maybe I'd be hesitant to be oral that night. And good god, I've never said anything to HER about it. Newsflash, women have human bodies.
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (7 July 2013):
To be honest, I'm not sure I'd bother seeing him again. I think maybe that he wanted just the sex and has decided he doesn't want to see you again. Whatever the reason, to be honest I just wouldn't bother with him again.
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