A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay so ive been seeing this guy casually who about 5 months ago broke up with his fiancé for cheating. His bestfriend told me he really liked me which is how we ended up casually dating and Everything was going fine, i hung out with his friends,we went out on dates, i even met his brother and went on a double date with his bro/gf, but then about two weeks ago i asked if he wanted to hang out but he said he was busy. So we text back and forth and he was busy all week so i tried to hang out again on the weekend but he was like im busy with my friends. So then after the weekend he kindof slowe down on the texts then stopped. Which from what i know from him is hom trying to end stuff so i just stopped texting him, but then he messaged me on fb that is phone is ***** . So i tried talking with him but he dodnt really talk so since it might of just been his phone being messed as to why he didnt text me so i asked if he wante to hang out but he was like im busy i wont be back until sun. So now i dont know what to do. Do i just say **** it and get my stuff back? Or should i keep trying and maybe he really was just busy ?
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (8 July 2013):
Hi there. There is a slight chance, that he isn't fully over his fiance, as yet.
It is possible, that perhaps you came on too strong.
Because, you have mentioned here that you asked him to go out, and he said that he was busy.
And then this happened every time you asked him, over a full week.
That he was busy, every time you asked him.
And it is possible, that you were texting him a bit more often than he was texting you.
And what I mean, is that you may have initiated most of the text messages - rather than the other way around.
And so he might be feeling like he is being stalked, or that you are a little controlling.
And men usually, like to do the chasing.
Even though it is the 21st century, it still is usually preferred by most men, that they do the chasing.
Men really enjoy a challenge, when it comes to dating women.
And they don't like it if they win a girl's heart too easily.
They EXPECT to have to work hard, for that to happen.
And they DON'T really want it to be too easy for them.
So keeping this in mind, probably the wisest thing you could possibly do now, would be to just give him some space.
And DO NOT text or call him.
And instead, let him contact you.
Even if it is one week, 2 weeks or more.
Still, just let him come to you.
And if he likes you enough, well then he will come to you.
No matter how long it takes him.
And supposing you give him some space, and then after 1 or 2 weeks, he calls you again - to ask you out.
And when that happens, don't act over eager, and if he asks you out - giving you a few days notice for Saturday night - well then say to him something like - "I'm not sure what I am doing, but I will check and let you know."
Even if you KNOW you are doing nothing on the next Saturday night, still say this, just so he knows you are NOT just waiting by the phone for him to call.
You don't want to come across to him as desperate.
It will turn him off.
And just stay calm and relaxed, and go back to the phone and say to him - "At the moment, I have nothing planned."
And then see what he says.
And go from there.
And supposing you go out and have a great time, well then DO NOT text him anymore after that.
And let him call YOU instead.
And it could be a few days to even a week, or slightly more - so be patient.
Because, if you did decide to text or call him, well then it could be the last you ever see of him.
Believe me, men enjoy the chase.
And it makes YOU all the more interesting, I promise you.
Don't make it TOO hard for him though.
Because, he does still need to know you are genuinely interested in him, and so you can't play TOO hard to get - for that reason.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2013): Busy is another word for asshole.
Excuses is another form of rejection or should I say, I'm not interested.
It is exactly what you think it is. He doesn't like you the way you like him.
I suggest for you, not to take guys seriously.
Their words are like bubbles. You may see it but poof its gone, right off the bat.
I am saying this to you, not to hurt you but for you to open up your eyes and stop yourself from agonizing over a worthless person, Who doesn't care that much for you.
If he cares for you, he will definitely not make you wonder.
He will initiate to call you, everyday, NO Misses.
He will text you everyday, no misses. You don't have to ask him to hang out. Because He will ask you first. He will spend time with you no matter how busy he is. He will let you know why if he can't. He will never have the nerve to make you wait and disappoint you EVER. Most of all,, you will never find yourself writing and asking about his action, why he did this? why he did that? what should i do? Because you will be busy spending time with him.
What to do? forget him.
Pls. read my article about how to forget someone you love (the quickest way)
Good Luck!
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