A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:After breaking up with me last Thursday, she's already posting pictures online of her with another guy. How do I get over this?This past week has been tough on me, but I've been able to move on fairly well through the support of my friends and family, but after seeing this I feel my heart has taken a big step backwards.We had been friends since high school and had been dating for two years. We loved each other so much and in the last month she just started changing, wanting other things. Its only been a week and she's with this guy, after such a loving and caring relationship/friendship.What do I do? Don't just say "move on," because that's exactly what I was doing until I saw this. Did these last two years mean nothing?
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you very much everyone for the responses. A few things I should note.I do know that this guy has liked her for some time, so its not some random cousin or something to make me jealous. Also, a mutual friend of ours told me today that she was angry with this guy for posting these pictures of them on facebook (he was the one who posted them) Apparently she did not want me to see them, so it wasn't some ploy to get me to see her "moved on"Basically when we broke up, I told her some part of me would always love her and she told me the same, but she said she feels like she's "growing up too fast and wants to sample what else is out there; live college life." So I knew it wouldn't be too long before she was flirting with guys.BUT its been less than a week and this looks WAY more than flirting... the pictures were of them kissing/snuggling, etc. Definitely something I didn't want to see for even another few months if not never at all.I guess it hurts because I do still love her and she's already told me some part of her still feels "we were meant to be together." But she still wanted to go through the break up. I just can't bear this any more.So I'm stuck. I'm hurt too much to see this, yet I still care for her too much to block her from my life completely... And a special thanks to americanpatriot... your advice really resonated with my heart, because that's exactly what I want to do... I want to show her that even through the worst of times, I was there for her and always better than the other guys. But it sucks during times like now when I'm convinced she doesn't or will never see it.
A
female
reader, americanpatriot +, writes (17 November 2010):
 My advice is a little different. This girl that you love is pretty young, and she might be wanting to see what's out there. Sometimes the grass seems greener on the other side, but then we find out that it isn't. The last two years were not wasted. You taught her what it means to have a boyfriend that really cares about her and loves her, and if any guy starts treating her wrong, her thoughts will probably turn back to you. I think that if you love her, you will want to be available when that happens. Don't try to forget her if you really love her, but do keep yourself occupied. Work out at the gym. Keep yourself always looking and smelling good and hold your head up. Wait it out, be patient, and don't give up. If it's not meant to be, you'll know when you have to let her go, but don't attempt to cross that bridge until you come to it.
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A
female
reader, Princess Aunty  +, writes (17 November 2010):
1. well you mentioned that she changed lately. It might be possible that the guy you are talking about has came into her life when you was still in relation with her,..and that is what has caused her to change and most probably has distance her from you.
Maybe the guy has influenced her to leave you and she was provoked. Boy he might be the reason for your breakup.
2. a second possibility might be that something has forced her to end up that relation and thats why she changed trying to show she has no interest in this relation and that she wants to discontinue. AND in order to show you that the break up did not hurt her much and that she can easily get someone else, she might have upload these fotos to show off. that guy might be her close friend or a cousin
well to get over her, y0u need to distance you from those things that make you remind of her. examples her gifts. throw them away. your pictures together..burn it. and the most important one..delete her from your facebook friend list as such you won't see her photos and it won't disturb you..
but still remember that the best remedy for a break up is time
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): Yeah pal block this girl from your life. It makes things so much easier. Block her entirely including her phone. Ive done this a few times and do not regret in the slightest at all. She's a lost cause anyway lol...chances are she may be demeaning herself with this guy to get closure with u or she's already gotten closure at the end of ur relationship before u split up and now shes being crazy lol. either way bud...get rid of her as she does u absolutely no good. Look out for number one.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): 1 of 2 things,either this is a rebound relationship for her,or this guy has been in the picture awhile before your break up.Sounds like the latter,because you said she has changed in the last month and wanting new things.He may have contributed to her change in behaviour and wanting new things.Unfortunately theres nothing you can do,just let it go.It will only bother if you let it.Go out and get another girl,it mite help
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (17 November 2010):
 How do you even know if thats a new boyfriend or not. 95% chance she put that picture up just to torment you. Don't check out her facebook (or whatever it is where she puts out pictures), better yet, just block her/delete her altogether. Then you wont have to look or be tempted at looking.
After a breakup: avoid avoid avoid. It's the best cure.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (17 November 2010):
You can sit there and try rationalize this. You can sit there and try to work out what those last two years meant. You can tell us not to say 'move on'.
But, at the end of it, you'll never be able to rationalize it, yo'll never know what those two years meant, and the only thing you can is move on. Stop looking at her site, never contact her again and go out with friends, study, do more work.
Just don't sit there torturing yourself with what she's done. Those two years will have meant something, but clearly at some point it died off and she chose to move on. That's how it work, I'm afraid, and there is no other way around it other than to move on.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (17 November 2010):
 This is always the worst set back on when you are moving on, even if it was after a month or more you would still feel hurt from seeing this.
Am sorry but you just need to accept this, dont go on to her forum or social networking sites online, as its just going to keep upsetting you even more, and you wont be able to move on as it will always set you back, you need to stop checking up on her online and get out with your friends and not think about what she is doing or who she is with, more than likely this other guy is just a rebound as am sure she was hurting as well and she has just falling straight in to the arms of another person many people do this as a way to get over there ex no it does not mean that the last two years meant nothing to her, am sure she loved you and cared about you.
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