A
female
age
36-40,
*ender
writes:I volounteer at the local youth center, and with the help of my mentors have building up a good network systems. About 4 years ago I met this particular youth worker, at the time I really didn't see how amazing he was till after I got to know him. We work together on a few workshops and program during this one time and very traumatic incident. How we reacted to the situation, lets just say it was the first time I really saw him and fell for him. We got along really well, and had a lot of similar interests, chemistry was def there. Part of me almost believes we were somehow psychically linked, at that stage I could always tell when his upset or happy.Everyone saw it, only prob when the topic comes up he deny any feelings or attractions. Even though he was caught eyeing me few times, and was really quiet with other co-worker but has quite a rockstar mouth with me. Some how I was convinced he was the one for me. He was my sector mentor. One of the thing we have in common is this motto. "No B-----T " Just be upfront. If I like u I like u, if I don't I don't, easy to deal with. So one drunk night I txt him my true feelings and he rejected me 2 months later on valentines day . He left the sector shortly after, to follow his music dream. Years past, both of us have change completely. We don't get along any more, if anything we bug the hell out each other. He's more rude and distant. Treats me like dirt, when we do talk it is either stand offish or we fight. No longer talking but still haven't delete the other off fb. [Network thing]So I still get updates, despite being our difference. I find myself worrying when I think he losing too much weight especially when I hear he's going through a tough times. Despite how much he hurt me I still I hoping he is ok, and not got himself into any trouble.We far from perfect for each other. It's ok, we both change, that's life. I still remember him, the old him. Find myself listening to one of his song that he produce when I miss him. Question is why.
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female
reader, citadel  +, writes (30 January 2013):
Oh I don't agree with the status quo on this at all.
When I remember my ex (ex's) I can write the best poetry.
I have used all the things that I loved about them to discover what I DO like in men and of course because of the expired RS what I DONT want in a man.
My experiences help me with unraveling new relationships.
Some good, some lessons.
Use the memory as a sweet thought, not to be an obsession or abused. Keep the moment something precious, like a locket you keep in a drawer in a box in a trunk. Something to pull out and embrace every so often. You don't have to erase the past, if you do you will not take those lessons with you.
Embrace don't erase.. give yourself permission to do what human's do best FEEL...
A
female
reader, Fender +, writes (20 January 2013):
Fender is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks I for you're right I haven't fully moved on if look back. I can't really delete him from FB cos he's one my network in youth work field and he changed his number and email like pair socks. FB is my sure way of emailing him, if I have to send him a client who wants to do hip hop.
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A
female
reader, mrswaldhauser  +, writes (16 January 2013):
 Whilst you still continue to invest yourself in this man you are not allowing yourself to move on and find someone else. You may have felt before that this man was your soulmate or "sector mentor" as you put it but you've said yourself he has changed now and has become a totally different person. Do not waste your time trying to get that person back because to be honest, even when he was that person he never made a move on you and rejected you on valentines day also. So it doesn't sound like the old him or the new him is very interested. I say leave well alone and move on and find someone who will really appreciate you and echo your feelings.
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A
female
reader, xxxnattybumxxx +, writes (15 January 2013):
You still think about your past love because you're not allowing yourself to move on. You don't talk and he seems like a bit of an idiot so just delete him on facebook and move on with your life..keep yourself busy and eventually it will fade.
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