A
female
age
51-59,
*OSTONE01
writes:At 34 i became divorced form my husband (MAJOR ISSUES and we had a friendly divorce)I had two children age 5 and 7. A year later I met the MAN OF MY DREAMS..a gift rom God.Although the man was divorced and 18 years older. He acted young and fun. He was a wealthy Jewish man and I am a devote catholic. he had 2 married children that he provides for to this day. They never liked me...He was powerful and controlling , but treated us liek gold and provided everything to raise my boys the best way possible.I felt I hit the lottery..I loved him so much !I never ever went out with the girls and cooked and cleaned every single night. I am 5'8 blonde and 115, therefore i looked the part he needed for his armAfter 10 years of marraige my husband left me for his fitness instructor that is 32 years younger!The econlmy fell and he stopped making money. He could not handle not raking in his millions anymore and making NOTHING. I thought I would shine,as I can be very frugal and know there is more to life than $$. He is 64 and she is 32. I was in the hospital having surgery (from stress to the liver and kidney,as my husband would never speak to me and was out withthe girl all the time)He packed up and left me.Three months later eviceted me and the boys form HIS home and divorced me. He had never spoke to me since the day i wnet to surgery. He was cheating on my for years, but I acccepted it. That is what Jewish men do.He moved her right in and they are in REAL LOVE according to his friends.I hurt more than words can express. The holidays are horrible. Most days I DO NOT want to go on.Life is so lonely and NO ONE CARES!
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female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (5 December 2010):
 Don't worry. the 32 year old is going to drop his ass as soon as she finds out how broke he is. I hope you're getting spousal support.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2010): Cheating is not particular to Jewish men; it is very common.
You have had your heart broken and that is very hurtful. But although you are hurt, life goes on, and you need to pick up the pieces and continue. Get support from family, friends, counselling. Make social contact, find things to do, get some things in your life that take your mind off your cheating husband.
Make someone care. Make yourself care. The rest will follow.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2010): Remember, he left because he doesn't know who he is, or he can't face who he knows he isn't.He left being 62 and broke. The sad part (for him) is that no matter how many 32 year olds he sleeps with (or is in loooooove with) it will never make him 32 again. And... that is what he is trying to capture.Okay, then there's you. Because someone we are devoted to isn't worth it... doesn't make you or what you gave worth nothing. As difficult as this sounds... you may have to just look at this as being set free from a schmuck who is afraid of himself and what he's not. Now, you've had a life with him and its over. Dust yourself off and remember who you are and what you stand for. A woman of true value doesn't REALLY want a schmuck. Deep down I bet you don't either.So perhaps life has given you another chance to figure out the life you WANT TO lead.... no longer living with the scraps of a life a shallow idiot gave you when he was through with whatever he was doing.You can turn around and finally grab that brass ring called... you... and find someone truly worthy of you. Perhaps you were never tested on this before... and now your test returns to you. So take the test and pass it... live like a lion. AND... don't ever allow anyone to dictate to you what you are worth or... what you should TAKE from them. You decide.I hope you took him to the cleaners.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 December 2010):
 First off I agree with Cindycares! Jewish men in general do not cheat, whomever told you that crazy story must be delusional (or your ex husband).
I'm sorry you got replaced. I don't think a guy like your husband knows what love is, if he keeps getting a new wife when the one he has gets older.
You are 44 now, half ways through your life, you still have PLENTY of living to do and things to experience. He on the other hand... is 63? so he's got another 10-15 years left? (statistically).
I'm sorry you married a man, who just wasn't worthy.
(Psalms 146:9 DR) 9 The Lord keepeth the strangers, he will support the fatherless and the widow: and the ways of sinners he will destroy.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (3 December 2010):
 No, that's not what Jewish men do.
That's what men who wants a trophy wife do. When the old trophy gets tarnished, they get a new, shiny one.
Or, that's what men who put all their self worth into making money do. When the money stops coming they feel like
absolute crap and in the pathetic attempt to get some respect in the eyes of their peers ,and in their own eyes, they get a flashy new toy that can make up for their loss of self esteem.
I know that realizing this is not of much help to you right now. I understand how this change forced upon you must have hurt you and shocked you horribly, and I could only come up with the classic cliches : time heals all wounds.
The night is darkest just before dawn. It has to go worse before it can go better. Etc.
Being the optimist that I am, I'd suggest you perhaps to look for the silver lining. Oh yes, there are more than one : for instance :he is 18 older than you. In a few years he is gonna be an old geezer. Let the new wife be the one who buys him his Viagra, or take him to the urologist for his prostate screening; you'll be the one who is still enjoying her life, and having a great time with her kids, her friends and new dates your age or younger.
Then, you've got 10 memorable, very good years, when there was still the love, and the respect, and the money , and when you were still naive enough to see this very average guy as a God. It was good till it lasted- and nobody can take that away from you. What they took away from you is ... what he is now : a vain insensitive cheap materialistic old bully that no self respecting woman would accept.
Nobody cares ? Nah. I bet your kids family and friends care. But even if they would not , the important thing is that YOU care, that you care about yourself , and you want to heal and put all this behind you, and go on savouring till the last drop all the good things that life has in store for you, and that you are gonna get. Because you deserve them.
Best of luck.
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A
male
reader, Cupid Boy  +, writes (3 December 2010):
 Ah, rich people and their problems. You got to live like a millionaire for a decade, happily being this guy's "arm candy". But women can only be trophy wives for so long until they are traded in for a younger model. For sure, he acted reprehensibly toward you but were there really no indications at all of this guy's true character before you married him? Maybe next time give more weight and attention to the man's values and a bit less to the material assets he provides for your children.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (3 December 2010):
 You have your children and they care about you. What would they do without their mother? Read through what you have written. You are the type of woman so many men search for and yet never find. You were devoted and loving and he was wrong to have taken you for granted. Believe you me that the relationship he has with his current girlfriend, although full of what appears to be love, will slowly crumble one day. Judging by his behavior, it will not last and the large age difference does little to support them. Do not stop being who you are and please, do not assume all Jewish men are like this. There are a lot of men who take their lovers for granted, no matter how perfect they are. But that does not mean ALL men do this. There are men out there who would do anything just to spend the rest of their lives with a woman like you.
You have such a positive view on life and you KNOW that there is more than just material wealth. That makes you richer than he could ever be. Eventually he will fall as a lonely man with nothing.
You have people who care. If you seek, you shall find a better man who will always love you and devote the very essence of his soul to ensure your heart sends pulses of happiness every day.
I was evicted from my home once and like you, I only had my family with me. I thought for sure that it would be that way for a long time. I thought my education was about to die away along with any hope of a bright future. Things change for the better once you reach a low point as long as you never stop looking up. I shall pray tonight that you and your children find happiness once again.
I hope that helps.
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