A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my girlfriend of 3 months is a virgin. i am not a virgin and hav been in 1 relationship so far in my life. im not looking for anything 2 serios yet due 2 my former heartache but my gf keeps pestering me for sex n im afriad 2 give it 2 her. if i take her virginity then what??? am i going 2 be stuck with her for good?? i alredy had 2 tell her b4 i dont want 2 get married in the future. if i leave her in the future will she be morbbidly heartbroken as well due 2 me takin her virginity??? 1 more question, she is very tite. i have not been with a virgin b4. if i decide 2 have sex shuld i just ram it in there with plenty of lube, or do i need 2 ease it in?? please help!!!!
View related questions:
heartbroken Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (3 January 2010):
Most people - girls more than guys, but it's common in both sexes - get especially attached to their first sexual partner. Yes, you are likely to do some emotional damage to her if you split in the future. She may be subconsciously thinking that by giving herself to you in this way it'll make you want to stick around. The fact is that if you're not really committed to each other, taking her virginity will likely make the break-up happen sooner.
As for the "ram it in" thing - Don't even consider it unless she actually asks to be done like that, with all the blood, tears, and screaming that accompanies the wedding-night rape traditional in some cultures.
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (3 January 2010):
 Yeah taking her virginity and then dumping her would be cruel. I wouldn't advise you have sex with someone you've been dating for a fair amount of time only to KNOW you're going to break up with her. I agree with the below posters. Why even date her if you're only using her? If you know you can't be with her, why stay and get her hope up?Also, what do you mean lube up and ram it in? She's not just some tight hole that is waiting to accept your penis if you put on enough lube. She is a person. Just like you she needs to be turned on to have sex. Guys don't seem to understand that a woman's arousal is just as important for sex as a man. Would you try to have sex before getting hard? No so why would you expect her to have sex before she's wet and her vagina has expanded? It will hurt her a lot otherwise. So no you don't just ram it in there. You give her enough foreplay so she's really turned on and then take it slow and listen to her. If she makes a noise of pain or grimaces, then STOP! But like the below poster, I think you should have some more respect and break it off now if you're just planning on breaking up with her anyways. Don't use her for sex. Don't be "that guy."
...............................
A
male
reader, Beingblack  +, writes (3 January 2010):
 Young man, I am quickly getting the picture, the more I read your question.
The more honest you are, the more help and sound advice you will receive.
It really doesn't matter who is a virgin, and who is not.
A person generally knows if and when they are ready and willing to have sex with someone they love.
There is not a right or wrong way to have sex, and there won't be a panel of judges present, waiting to give marks on technical abilty or artistic presenatation.
Take your time. Wait until both of you are ready. No need to ram anything anywhere.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (3 January 2010):
If you don't want to marry her or be with her, then please don't take her virginity and end it now. She obviously thinks you two have a future, but if you take her virginity and dump her later, she will feel used. I think you should reconsider this relationship.
...............................
A
male
reader, alejandro +, writes (3 January 2010):
Ok I am in some what of the same situation as you (I guess) I two am dating a virgin but unlike u I love her. Don't just take her virginity to get your rocks off man thats not cool. If you really don't care for her , break it off now, go to your room grab some lube and please your self. And come on "ram it in" have a little respect fot her.
...............................
|
