A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I'm scared that if i don't have sex with my boyfriend he will leave me. He's not pressuring me into anything, but it does make me wonder weather this is the only thing he's interested in? He's already done it with his ex girlfriend when they were thirteen and i feel like because of that he expects it from me. I understand that if he does love me he won't mind what i decide not to do with him. But do boys actually care about anything besides sex?(if boys could anwser that certain question) I try asking my mum about these things but she's still shocked at how old people are now when they lose there virginity. I don't really want to worry about sex or anything until im atleast 15. As ive only just become 14 and i am really not ready.
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female
reader, ChelsieSue  +, writes (4 January 2010):
 just make sure that when you do do it, he's the one, because if you do it with him and he turns around and wants his ex back, yourr just a poor little girl that he just used; and i dont think you want that. i'm 15, almost 16, my boyfriend is almost 18, were both virgins and were in no rush. i dont know about you but i dont want a baby when i'm still a baby, hahaa. just wait till you know your ready:) dont trust what a guy says, most of them just want in your pants. haha.
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (3 January 2010):
 Just because he had sex before doesn't mean he expects it from you. If he's not pressuring you into it, and you don't want to yet, then don't do it. The anon poster said it really well. "If you can't keep him without sex then you won't keep him with it either." It's totally true. Guys aren't only interested in sex. That's so not true. They like it a lot and it's a big part of their lives, but they typically won't stay with a girl too long just because she's really good in bed. If he breaks up with you because you won't sleep with you or even threatens to, he's obviously only interested in sex and is trying to manipulate you. Don't fall for that, even if you slept with him in that situation, he wouldn't want to stick around and then you'd feel even worse. Save your virginity for someone you trust and for when you're ready. 14 is really young to be having sex.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe was with his ex girlfriend for 7 months btw.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2010): If you can't keep him without sex then you won't keep him with it either.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (3 January 2010):
Apart from it being illegal until you're 16, if any guy ever pressures you he's not worth your time. Wait until you are ready.
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A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (3 January 2010):
 Smart girl for realizing that you're not ready at 14. :)
First of all, even if you WERE to have sex with your boyfriend, it's no guarantee that he would stay with you. He had sex with his ex-girlfriend... are they still together? Of course not.
Do boys actually care about anything besides sex? Yes, the ones that are worth dating do. You don't have to be a boy to answer that.
If he's worth dating, then he will accept that you're not ready and still be faithful to you.
Throughout life people are going to pressure you into doing things that make you feel uncomfortable. I'm not saying that your boyfriend is one of them... but you will run into this situation. You have to do what you know is right, even if it isn't easy.
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A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera +, writes (3 January 2010):
Smart girl for realizing that you're not ready at 14. :)
First of all, even if you WERE to have sex with your boyfriend, it's no guarantee that he would stay with you. He had sex with his ex-girlfriend... are they still together? Of course not.
Do boys actually care about anything besides sex? Yes, the ones that are worth dating do. You don't have to be a boy to answer that.
If he's worth dating, then he will accept that you're not ready and still be faithful to you.
Throughout life people are going to pressure you into doing things that make you feel uncomfortable. I'm not saying that your boyfriend is one of them... but you will run into this situation. You have to do what you know is right, even if it isn't easy.
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A
female
reader, cheekyme +, writes (3 January 2010):
 Well in that case, if you dont feel ready, tell him that Talk to him about this situation, he should understand if he loves you. Dont let him push you into anything! You need to do what YOU want. Dont do anything just because your afraid of what he will say or, that he will finish it with you. Because if there is somthing you dont want he should understand and wait till you are ready. And should understand you want to wait. But dont be pushed into anything you dont want!!
Take Care xx
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