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anonymous
writes: Wealthy man or sexy man? I have two chasing me, and almost cannot believe how this blew up all of a sudden. One is stable and caring, another is like lightning bolts in terms of our chemistry, and just kissing him gives me chills. It would be practical to accept the good provider because we both have good jobs and could enjoy a nice lifestyle. He wants me to move in with him and get married. The other man turns me on far more, but works in a lower-paying field and the marriage would probably always be uphill. They both know of each other, and I have not yet slept with either one. This has been casual dating for awhile, but when one proposed, then the other also quickly proposed, saying that he had planned to all along! My head is still just spinning. Mom says take the provider, Dad says go with the guy for whom I have more romantic love. Do other women struggle with this kind of choice?
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reader, star3482 +, writes (19 May 2005):
just keep dating them both till you know them better then when you decided who is better - go for that one, theres no need to get married though - try just dating for a while!!!
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reader, wwww.datinghaven.com +, writes (19 May 2005):
SAY YOU ARE NOT READY FRO MARRIAGEThen keep going on dates so you can pick one.
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (19 May 2005):
 Other women only struggle with this choice if they are very lucky! But seriously, when you have doubts like this and are indecisive, it is always best to do nothing. Don't marry either of them! You can see advantages and disadvantages with being married to both of them. Don't listen to your mum or dad, instead find someone who has all the qualities that you need. I know, you may think, impossible! But there is someone out there and being married to either of these guys could result in misery ultimately. I mean, if you go with the secure man, you may well find yourself bored and hankering after the 'wild, sends shivers down your spine' man and may find yourself tempted into an affair with him or someone similiar. If you go for the exciting guy, you may discover yourself living an insecure, where is the next penny coming from type of lifestyle that will be based on lust more than anything else.If you think you can settle for either of these, then indeed go for it but consider whether you do actually love either of them. You haven't mentioned this and this is the most important thing of all.Remain friends with them both and find someone you can love for all the qualities that you desire.Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2005): It doesn't sound like you're ready to make the life-long commitment of marriage. You don't have to get married just because someone(s) asks you.
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reader, Infiniterealism +, writes (19 May 2005):
Well, you got quite the dilemma haven't you? Wish I had the same problem. lol. No, but seriously, I can understand your internal conflict. After reading your question though, it seems like all the answers are all right there in front of you. First of all, If you choose passion over practicality then expect that the intial heat in a relationship dwindles after some time, usually when you realize that the drama of his breezy outlook on life can produce certain problems that will soon invade this union. It's good to have balance in life, a certain level of attraction as well as intelligence is a far better basis for marriage. You will have more time to focus on each other and being productive without having to struggle with other matters. This is actually a pretty common choice we have to make as woman. Usually we tend to be more attracted to the 'bad' boy as opposed to the 'good' guy. It's time to give those good boys a fightin' chance.
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