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anonymous
writes: Last night I asked my boyfriend to talk "sweet" to me and to tell me nice things. He said that he wouldn't and he did not have anything nice to say to me. He really hurt my feelings and I am at the point that I kind of want to break up with him. What should I do? This is not the first time that he has hurt my feelings, it has happened numerous times in the past. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2006): well honestly my girlfriend wants me to as well....and i want to i just dont know what to say...she means the world to me and i would do anything and everything for her i just dont know how to sweet talk
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2005): I think that you should wait a while. He may just be going through some rough times, and may need your support. Let him know you love him and that you care about him.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2005): I know the feeling of wanting your boyfriend to say nice things to you but you shouldn't just command him to. My boyfriend says nice things to me all the time but if I ask him to he wont know what to say at that moment.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2005): I am madly in love with my girlfriend, and whenever I think of something sweet to say to her I say it. If she is not available then and there then I'll make a note of telling her the first chance I get. And I think of lots of things quite often, BUT she has done that to me in the past. She would say "tell me something sweet". That was so hard I can't say "I can't think of anything". So I just don't say anything. I could tell her how beautiful she is but I feel awkward because I want to be more original. Basically you are putting your man on the spot when you ask him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2005): he might just feel insurcure make him relax and talk to him sweetly make it seem easy and then he will try it remember its the effot that counts
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (19 May 2005):
 It's possible that your boyfriend is just callous and a bit insensitive. You have to consider that he might never be able to gaze wistfully into your eyes and whisper sweet nothings when you want him to, 'cause he's just some lunkhead who doesn't care if he hurts your feelings. It might just be something you have to get used to.However.It's also possible that your boyfriend is not some cloddish oaf without a romantic bone in his body. I think it's more than likely that he resented your implied demand that he stop whatever it was that he was doing and "adore" you, on command.Maybe it's just the way you've phrased your letter, but it sounds like you were, well, a little overbearing about it. I can see where your boyfriend might bristle at the suggestion that his affection could be "tapped" whenever you think it's the right time. A person shouldn't really ask to have sweet things said to them, because it's a spontaneous gesture that can't be forced. You'd probably feel the same resentment if your boyfriend had said to you "Massage my feet now. Then cook me some dinner." You do those things (or not) because you feel like it and can't help expressing your love, not because someone told you to do it. It's the same with sweet nothings.Whether or not you choose to break up with your boyfriend because your feelings keep getting hurt is, of course, your business. But I think that you'll find that your bf's response is more common than not. Don't forget either, that someone who can come up with "sweet things" to tell you on command probably isn't saying very much that's heartfelt; he'll just be telling you what he thinks you want to hear.
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