A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Boyfriend and I have been trying to get work in another state. He just informed me he got a high paying job in the state where we both have talked of going. He said he's going to look for a place there this weekend. He also said that we should see other people because it will be a long distance relationship now. This is after being together for 7 years. He did not even offer for me to come down with him to help me get started. I have been a great girlfriend to him and feel like I have been kicked in the stomach. I don't know how to respond or what to do? I'm pretty much in shock right now.
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female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (5 February 2010):
 I'm so sorry, but I have to agree with Caring Guy. I think its over and he isn't man enough to just come right out and say so. 7 years is a very long time to just end it so coldly, but that is what he has done.
A
female
reader, Brooklyngirl +, writes (4 February 2010):
 I believe CaringGuy is right! And there is no easy way to say it. He is telling you he's leaving you. I'm sorry! I know how much that must hurt you! Seven years is a long time. But you can do better! Don't give up! Find someone is willing and able to commit!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2010): I am so sorry for your pain..I just went through a similar thing recently..My girlfriend was supposed to move in with me, we spoke of engagement, ect and she decided to take a higher paying job where she currently resides. I tols her that it would never work for us , yet she took the job anyway..I left about a month ago and there has been no contact except for her wanting her stuff back.I don't know how to console you except that it isn't anything you have done to cause his actions. He will not know what he had until it is gone, so I suggest you tell him "you want to see other people, fine by me" and hang up the phone..After a few weeks I will bet you he comes crawling back after he starts to picture really losing you..he knows he has you right now. The only problem I see is that after seven years, you shouldn't have to play these games..On your break you should really consider if this guy is worth your time anymore after being such a great girlfriend to him..If he can just say that now, what about if you got married? I'm sorry for your pain..stay busy and keep your head up, you sound like a great person..
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (4 February 2010):
 I'm afraid he seems to have made up his mind about the future (non-future that is) of your relationship. It does not sound as though there is any room for negotiation as far as he is concerned.
Not much you can do about it - except to let him know it came as a big shock and disappointment. Hopefully he will respond to that and perhaps say more about his thinking. He may well genuinely care about you and appreciate all your support in trying to get work and other things. Long distance relationships are difficult because you don't get to meet very often and gradually will grow apart. He realizes this fact.
He has gotten the job he wants, and unfortunately, you have been unable to obtain work in the same area where he will be.
Sorry.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (4 February 2010):
I think this is his way of saying that it's over. No easy way to say it, but I think it's over. You would do better to move on.
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