A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi! I have a really confusing situation here, every help appreciated.I'm 27 she's 19. I've met this girl 2 years ago and we were dating for a year and a half. 6 months ago she moved temporarily to another city (some 40km away) and soon after she moved she started acting funny. Not calling as often as usual, being cold toward me etc. It was tough for me since I really like her but I wasn't surprised at all I was expecting something like this considering her age. But, after we broke up she never stopped calling me, from time to time we even see each other, going out, kissing, having sex etc., until few days ago she told me she just want's us to be friends. I explained to her that I still have some feelings for her and I don't want her as a friend... but she is really insisting on being a friend with me, calling me almost every day. She told me she likes to hang out with me, talking with me and all that stuff, but doesn't want a relationship with me or anyone else for that matter. What should I do? By the way, I wouldn't even consider her friendship but she got the job in my town and is coming back next week, this time for good! Is it smart to stay in friendly relations with her and try to win her back slowly or should I move on and cut all communication with her?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Orbiter  +, writes (2 April 2011):
What makes you think she won't start acting funny again? It's doubtful a relationship would ever work out between the two of you.
If you still have feelings for her and she moves back and you're seeing each other frequently, then you could well end up getting hurt by falling for her again while she just wants to be friends.
It's probably smarter to stop all contact and move on, considering you do still have feelings for her and especially if you don't want her as a friend. Explain your feelings to her then stop contact and if she rings don't answer the phone.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2011): Tell her you have all the friends you need and you aren't taking any more applications. If you still have feelings for her you can't be "just" friends. End it.
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