A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 21 and I want to lose my virginity soon, I don't want to drift into my mid-late 20's early 30's and still be a virgin. I am aware of the protection needed and please don't try and sell me any of the disneyland wait for the right girl and lose it on your wedding night stuff. This is the real world and a prostitute is my only hope of losing it.I live in England, please advise me what the laws are surrounding this because I don't know how to find out.
View related questions:
prostitute, wedding, wedding night Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, moomoomoo  +, writes (13 June 2012):
 you'll definitely feel better after, but over time when you can get real girls, you'll probably regret it.one more thing to add, when you see a prostitute, be sure shes hot and all you're looking for, and save up the money for it. cheap = bad, obviously they're trying to get you to finish fast and get outta there, so please find someone high-class, or a college student. be sure you're getting what you want. another thing: during your first experience you probably won't really know what you're doing, and it will be awkward... lol. prostitute will be like waaa??? he doesn't wanna do me? or why is he so nervous.. hahaha
A
male
reader, Ayan Ganguly  +, writes (11 June 2012):
 Wow ..go ahead and enjoy...but my friend fruits of patience is always sweet..but when you preserve certain things giving it away to son=me one special makes sense...it might sound disneyland story to you at the moment...but with time you'll understand...all the best and no law dares stop you from loosing your virginity...
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2012): Men wouldn't lie about going to prostitutes if women could handle the truth. Women have fragile female egos about this sort of thing. They are insecure. They just want to control a man's sexuality. They think they have the right tell a man what he was allowed to do before he ever knew she existed.
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (9 June 2012):
 "Secondly don't worry about what future women think just tell them you lost it on a drunken one night stand, you're not proud of it and you don't even remember her name."
Sure, OP, you could lie. And then start off every relationship you ever have with a lie. That bodes well. Why do something that you have to lie about, that's the better question. It is much easier, or better for your self respect, to own up to your actions. If you go to a prostitute at least show yourself, and any woman you date, the respect of being honest. If you can find a woman who will want you knowing you went to a prostitute then it's all well I suppose.
Or go the rest of your life with a secret you can't tell anyone, not even your friends, because it's a repel for women. That will damage your self esteem even more.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2012): It's not very illegal OP so I wouldn't worry too much as long as you do your homework.
First off you get what you pay for so save up and get a high class or look for a student doing this to pay her way through college. You don't want a trafficked woman or crazed drug addict so find one that's not doing that. In other words find a British woman who does call outs. To hotels etc.
Secondly don't worry about what future women think just tell them you lost it on a drunken one night stand, you're not proud of it and you don't even remember her name. If you have a beer before meeting the escort then all of that is true too and you need never mention the business aspect of it. That part is nothing to worry about.
Screw the Disney idea you have why not just go about getting a girlfriend or finding a girl who's up for a casual lay instead? It's not going to be better or worse really but you are kind of cheating yourself of the thrill of the conquest. The pride of having worked for and earned it, even if all you did was drunkenly chat some girl up.
Look you don't state your reasons why you would opt for a pro but you obviously have no idea how easy it is to get women for dates or one night stands because if you did you'd just do that instead. Personally I'll never get the prostitute thing most women are very easy when you know what buttons to press because believe it or not they want the same things we do.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2012): You know how women complain that men hold their sexual past against them, even if the woman regrets it later? Well, women are every bit as bad about judging men for their sexual past when that past includes prostitutes.
So if you want to have a one-night-stand then you had better not pay for it, or women will forever judge you. Go find some gal, give her compliments, buy her dinner, give her attention, listen to her boring stories . . . doing ANYTHING to get her into bed is more acceptable than just making a square deal and paying for sex.
(And if a woman throws herself at you for your good looks & charm, and gets paid with an ego-boost instead of money? Then that same one-night stand in your past will be sexy instead of a morally repulsive thing to keep secret.)
...............................
A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (9 June 2012):
Prostitution in the UK isn't illegal, but openly advertising for it and street prostitution is. Plus there are a lot of things you have to look out for. For example if she isn't 18 yet (you often can't tell) or forced into the industry (you can't tell) you can get in serious trouble if you get caught. There's no straight, easy answer to this.
But honestly, what's the rush? Just check out this section of dear cupid: http://www.dearcupid.org/category/virginity
There are so many people in their twenties who haven't lost their V-card yet, it isn't as abnormal as you seem to think it is. Also, do you really think going to a prostitute is going to help you? You'll have sex for the first time, yes, but you're not going to know whether you actually pleased this other person (she'll probably try and compliment you no matter what you do in hopes of more money) and afterwards your wallet will be a lot slimmer.
Okay, so say you do this. You lost your V card. You won't actually have gained experience, but you lost the stamp (and gained another.) And then you stumble upon a girl you really like. Relationships, etc. are bound to come up. You can lie and spin a story (but most of us aren't as good at lying as we think) or you can come clean. Which version of you do you think she'll respect more, the one that was so desperate he went to a prostitute or the one who doesn't give a damn about society pressure and waited for a person he liked to lose it to? For me it would be the latter.
Plus, if you can't find someone you like enough to lose it to, how do you think going to a prostitute is going to help you find a suitable gf in the long run? Your insecurities will still be there, only now you have done something no girl will like or respect. I sure wouldn't want to date a guy who went to a prostitute to lose his V-card, while I wouldn't have a problem with dating a virgin.
Really think this over well, because what you're doing will have negative consequences 'in the real world'. Good luck OP, whichever path you choose.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2012): Do what you please. Just know that most women wouldn't respect you for losing your virginity to a prostitute. A 21 y/o virgin is normal, but a guy who's desperate enough to lose his virginity to a prostitute is a loser. I would never date someone like that. Sorry but the truth is wait for the right girl or be looked down upon for making a low-classed decision.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2012): There's no law against it - go ahead - much better than a fumble with some equally inexperienced girl. You'll be all the richer for the experience.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2012): honestly...why would you want to? you should wait and i'm not sorry for saying this but if you give yourself to someone you don't love one day you will truly regret it...trust me in that you will...
...............................
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (8 June 2012):
 You're 21 and a virgin? That's not a big deal. Guys make a bigger deal out of that in a negative way when it comes to other guys. Girls are totally okay with it, and it doesn't hinder a relationship.
However, what's your story going to be if the question with a girlfriend comes up "When did you lose your virginity"?
I'm not selling you Disneyland. I'm selling you real life, and while I would (and have!) dated virgins, I'd *never* date a guy who paid for sex, especially to lose his virginity. That doesn't qualify as being sexually experienced.
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (8 June 2012):
"please don't try and sell me any of the disneyland wait for the right girl and lose it on your wedding night stuff."
Fine, I wont sell you any of that. I'll just say it so you don't go into some dreamland fantasy of your own: no woman will ever respect that you went to a prostitute unless she's in the profession herself. So, you can either do something stupid that you can't ever be honest about to a future girlfriend, or you can keep your dignity.
As for illegal or not, prostitution is illegal in many countries (Norway included), but you need to check the laws in your own country.
And there's no poor you if you have to enter your 20'ties still a virgin. People have real life issues, and that's not one of them. I know I sound harsh now, but this is tough love. There's no pitying virgins for being virgins. If you don't like being a virgin: get rid of it the same way every other normal person does, by getting yourself in a relationship.
Either that, or stick to prostitutes for the rest of your life, because women do not respect men, or want to be with men, who have lost their dignity by going to a prostitute. That's just a fair warning to you. We can accept a man who's slept around a lot, but not someone who paid for sex.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2012): I am surprised you posted this question on the board if you don't want anyone's advice. That's what this board is for...advice. With that being said, I'm also surprised you didn't just surf the internet for "prostitution laws in England" as Eyeswideopen suggested. A prostitute is your "only hope" of losing it? Hm. That is kind of sad, but like someone else said...do as you please. I'm assuming you will whether it is illegal or not.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2012): http://sw5.info/law/punters/This is the most accurate and informative website on the internet regarding the law and prostitution - I'm an escort, so I would know.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2012): Why not try posting in the craigslist casual encounters section? Someone should be willing to engage in intercourse with you without the exchange of goods or money. Because you would be with a willing partner, and no goods or money would be exchanged, it would be a legal encounter and not prostution. As with all sexual encounters, be safe, get to know her through email a little first, and WEAR A CONDOM!
...............................
A
female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo +, writes (8 June 2012):
 It is illegal to go out with the intention of finding a woman to pay for sex, i am a criminology graduate, trust me!
...............................
A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (8 June 2012):
 Hey man I lost mine to a hooker in cairo. I was 25. I feel ya dude I wish I woulda lost it wayyyy earlier I probably would have felt more accepted in the us amongst my peers. THINK about this hard. Make it a logical decision. Have u exhausted relationship attempts? Have you tried hard to attract women? Have you tried self improvement? You sound quite emtoional with this and thats alrite just be sure to balance your situation with logic or you will regret your decision. Good luck and man have fun.. i sure did lol
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (8 June 2012):
 Do as you please.
...............................
A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (8 June 2012):
 Prostitution in the UK isn't illegal but soliciting in a public place or advertising is illegal. As a potential client of a prostitute you expose yourself to possible prosecution and fines.
It isn't my business to tell you how to go about this, but it isn't a direct path or anything you will get a cut and dried answer to.
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (8 June 2012):
 You have a computer, google it.
...............................
|
