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*obert Edwards
writes:OK, here's one that has to top it all. I am a boss, I met this straight man 20 years old. I am 50. This is so crazy that it is hard to believe it happened. At any rate, I told him about me, and when I did, he said, well anything is possible for the right price. He is married to top it off. We ended up at my place like within the first week of him working for me. We did something. Then it became a thing where we both wanted to stop it, but it continued for 10 months. He went to kiss me on at least 4 occasions. Embarrassingly, I have to say I have never been this in love with anyone in my life. It got to the point where I was totally his slave. I mean I never did anything like this in my life. He pretty much can get anything he wanted from me. Now, his wife is pregnant and he has changed jobs. Of course, he has shown no interest in me at all. I know my thoughts are sort of all over the place, but frankly, my heart is broken. We do have some contact, but it is not physical, meaning we do not really see each other. I am happy on one hand about it and on the other hand, I am burning up inside with desire to be with him. This is the most awful experience of my life. I feel betrayed and hurt. Listen, I realize he is married, and I should not have gotten involved at all. He seemed to want it. He wanted me to fall in love with him and obsess over him. He would rub his feet for hours at work no less. Anyway, the at work part is gone, he dont work there any longer. He did get a LOT of money from me and favors and you can imagine. I would do it all over again, if there was something there on his part toward me. Am I that much of a lush, that much of an absolute idiot, to not realize I have been used. Yet I still want to be his haha "friend". We are Facebook friends and all. I go through feelings of rage and depression over this thing, and I CANNOT get him out of my damn head.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2011): Hi, You fell for a gorgeous, sexy, young stud. Wow, a fantasy come true!Well, you know what you have to do. Wake up from that dream.You know you have to close that chapter, that book, and never open it again.You know that. Do yourself that much of a favour. It hurts and will hurt for some time but eventually you'll get over it.You know that--just do it!
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reader, aaringurl  +, writes (31 July 2011):
Okay, little part of it is your fault. Okay I lied, a big part of it is your fault. Honey, if you really were that strong of a person, you'd know right then and there when to stop because it's going too far. You're the boss of your life. No one should dictate you against your will. You forgot to set some boundaries because perhaps you two got a little too familiar with each other. When money's involved, and you feel you've been giving and giving and giving, there could be something wrong there.
Well, there's not much you could do about it but move on. Learn from it and try not to fall for it again. I know those type of guys, one of these days he'd come back to you and ask for your help. But my advice, don't ever fall for that trick again. Because if you do, I'd really call you the dumbest gay beyatch walking on earth.
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reader, Robert Edwards +, writes (31 July 2011):
Robert Edwards is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAmazing how people call me a douche bag. I left a lot of details out including what she may have known. Best thing is for someone like you to hold your breathe for a long long time and God pity your children.
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reader, theresag  +, writes (30 July 2011):
Learn these lessons:-Never ever get into a relationship with anyone who is already in one.Never ever get into a relationship with someone you work with especially if you are the boss and vice versa.Life and love is hard enough without these complications.Listen to me ...NEVER!
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reader, JustAGirl.x  +, writes (30 July 2011):
 at your age you should have known better! 50 years old, falling in love with a 20 year old guy? i can't believe you could be so naive.
you need to get over this, he used you for gifts and money as you stated yourself, he used you because you would do anything for him, he is no more of a douche like yourself, how could you do this to his wife? people like you annoy the hell out of me, you dont think how she would feel if she found out or knew? she probably is going to feel 100x worse than your feeling right now.
tbh, for what you did you deserve to be in this position, you should of known better and not got involved with somebody in a relationship.
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reader, iloveblue  +, writes (30 July 2011):
 It really does seem that this guy got you based on the emotions that you are pouring here. However big or small the heartbreak is, it's still a heartbreak. And it's a heartbreak for which you cannot do anything but sulk it up and help yourself move on.This guy, as you yourself admitted has used you, abused your weaknesses and broke your heart. All reasons are screaming at you to just forget him. Forget him. The feeling of a broken heart might be too terrible to bear but you have your own life and it can't stop only because of this. Remember, you had a life before he came...there is still life after him. Whatever it takes, help yourself forget this guy. Stop sulking and crying. Get out and meet people. See your friends or family.Lastly, promise yourself you will never be carried away with this guy again. Block him and delete him in all your online and telephone records. Remember that there is no way to go but out of this misery and heartbreak.Best of luck.
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reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (30 July 2011):
 Hi,You are a smart, successful man and I cannot understand why you are letting this feelings control your mind?I understand that you don't choose who to love? However, why do you miss him so much? We all need partners in our lives, but we need someone that can be available to you everyday, any time of the day. Ok, it was fun in the beginning, but later on, don't you want someone to be with you all the time? There when you come home? Share meals, conversations? Spend time? Cuddle? Be able to reach whenever you want?Why do you have such strong feelings for someone that is selfish? Gold digger? Bad heart? Cheat? As far I see, there's not a positive thing about him to love? This person has no character, integrity, such a ugly heart... Sorry, I know I shouldn't judge someone I don't even know, but I am just trying to help you to see the truth, face reality and get out of this nonsense suffering. Like I said before, you are a wise, successful man, completly aware of the situation, yet choose to be in this situation, knowing that was wrong from the beginning. Its hard to understand and have sympathy for you... You are making yourself suffer, feeling the pain, anger, while this guy is home, happy with his wife, his life continue as nothing ever happened? Just few bucks richer? Commom!!!Isn't this enough? For you to snap out of it and move on? Don't waste any more of your precious time w/this guy and think of you for once. We cannot change the past, what's done is done, so look towards the future, find someone that deserves your love and devotion. Find someone that will love you, appreciate you back as you, not your money, what you can do or offer... I am sure your future love is out there and you are too busy wasting your precious time w/this looser. Good luck! Hope you feel better! Tomorrow is a new day, the past is past, nothing you can do about it, will not solve, will not change and just burn you inside!
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reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (30 July 2011):
 He gave prior warning of what sort of person he really is when "he said, well anything is possible for the right price". He was in it for the money, nothing more, nothing less.
Why do you still want to be his friend? Why not limit contact to only the unavoidable? You need to protect yourself a little while you work through this, you sound intelligent enough to be able to determine what there was about him that you permitted him to do this to you, thats the only way to ensure that next time your eyes and ears will be open, and you will be less likely to be so hurt.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2011): Seek counseling help. Seriously, this is where the rubber hits the road in ALL affairs, straight, gay, lesbian, or otherwise.
Also, realize that in the USA, having sex with a subordinate employee can cause you to get fired, be a blackmail victim, and on top of all that lose a million dollars in a lawsuit.
All three.
Lots of bosses have found this out with their employees. Don't speak to him again, don't email, friend on fb, or do anything else. Get professional help.
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