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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I have a question.When losing your virginity,is it better for the female to be on top or the male ?.Bearing in mind, we are both virgins.Any other tips would be great too.I've thought of us having the light off and just having candle light,and perhaps some music.I could do with some advice since i'm quite nervous,but eager,lol.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2009): That is awesome you don't meet many virgins over the age of 15 anymore. You will have to figure it out for yourselves I did missionary the first time. I suggest that you go to books-a-million there is an entire section of how to sex books that could help you. If you can't find any books there you might try some adult videos which are not a very accurate dipiction of how most sex really is. You can also do some online searches to help with this. You just need to feel each other find out what you like together. Your first time will probably be awkward maybe even uncomfortable or it could hurt but making love to the one you love can be the most intense, euphoric experience you can ever have. Good luck
A
female
reader, Quiet.Kisses  +, writes (12 February 2009):
 Missionary is probably the easiest for your first time but sometimes the best way to have sex is to just let is happen without plans (although do use precautions like condoms). Personally, I lost mine standing which was a little more work then most people would like for their first time. The best way to find the position you enjoy most is to experiment and to have fun with it.
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A
female
reader, lightningrod247  +, writes (12 February 2009):
They say its best if you are on top and I tend to agree. You can take it your own pace and usually it feels better.
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A
male
reader, Tomas +, writes (12 February 2009):
from a guy's standpoint (which is probably the least relevant one), i think it depends on what things are most likely to make you nervous.
traditional missionary can seem claustrophobic to some women, as there is this guy over you and you've got nowhere to go. i think you need more trust for this position. on the other hand, it is probably the most intimate, allowing each person to see one another very closely, kiss, touch one another. it also means that the guy is doing most of the work.
When the woman is on top, she sets the pace, can better control her level of stimulation (such as knees together while sitting atop him, or rubbing the clitoris into his pelvic bone ... the guy will get largely the same effect from any position). There is the most freedom for her, but she also have to do most of the work (he can thrust as well, but the one on top as a rule is the one breaking the biggest sweat). Another consideration for some women is that when you are on top, especially if you are in a sitting position, you are very visible. Guys generally LOVE this (we're very visual) but if you are shy around the guy you could be unnerved by him staring at you. Or turned on. It's something to consider.
Spooning is another option, both on your sides, him behind you. He can put his arms around you, hold you, kiss your neck or back, and can still touch your front parts easily enough. You also avoid someone in your face (for the claustrophobic) without having someone looking at you (for the shy). The challenge here anyone knows from going to sleep snuggling ... you're pretty much both on one arm, and eventually that will get uncomfortable.
Generally people start with missionary, as they are facing and the guy is more aggressive. So he tends to get on top of her. But she can roll him over to switch, or start off by spooning/cuddling and then guiding his hands / touching him behind her to get things started.
Any of those tends to be fine and straightforward.
And candlelight is very flattering. No fluorescents, no how, no way.
Enjoy.
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A
female
reader, lah mouw +, writes (12 February 2009):
 There is no best way to have sex. You've just got to do what feels right to you guys. So, just do some experimenting until you feel comfortable! Just enjoy yourselves.
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A
male
reader, moonlightwolf13 +, writes (12 February 2009):
 first off i have to say that this is soooo sweet and that to answer ur question any position is good i am a virgin as well and i am going to start with missionary with my lover and my advice is that have u talked do u know wat u both like? and i say this wear a condom!!!!!!!!!!
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