| A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: hi,ive been with my boyfriend since we were twelve years old. we are childhood friends. our parents always use to joke about us getting married when we were older.who know he would actually be the guy to make me fall inlove?he's generally a major sweetheart, he bought me a ring for our four year anniversary. it costed over 2000$ dollars. our relationship is much more of a give, then a take. we are always there for eachother, and we buy eachother things and help eachother out whenever we need it.we are the best of friends, we always have been.well now i'm pregnant, and he says that hes not the father!! i dont know what to do, i am so hurt and upset over this because i would never ever cheat on him, and i know hes scared but i am too and i need his 100% full support right now, he is my best friend my boyfriend and basically my family..any advice???
View related questions:
anniversary, best friend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, always.you  +, writes (15 June 2009):
 good luck with telling you parents honey keep us updated on how it goes were all here for you
A
female
reader, meg2989 +, writes (15 June 2009):
 He is scared, but he needs to face the facts. He is the father and this is a hard/scary time for both of you. He needs to be here for you. Have you talked to him about it at all?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2009): hey guys, today he came over, and he started crying.
he told me he was sorry, and that it was wrong for him to deny our child, he was just in shock at first. we are not sure if we are going to keep it or put it up for adoption, but definatley no abortions!!
this is going to change our relationship dramatically either way, but i think we will get through it, and still be with eachother in the end. as we love eachother very much.
we are getting ready to tell the rents' tonight.
thanks for all your help
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2009): Most teenage boys aren't gonna be too thrilled about becoming a father and it may change your relationship entirely. Most kids his age are thinking about sports, sex, and how much fun they are going to have partying in college. Changing diapers and being tied down with a kid isn't probably the future he had in mind for himself. Give him time to come around.
...............................
A
male
reader, EllsworthT  +, writes (15 June 2009):
It's normal for a guy to totally freak out when his girlfriend tells him she's pregnant. Guys typically think very highly of themselves and have big plans for their futures. Those plans NEVER involve children. Girl, you just threw a wrench into his life plans (as silly and unrealistic as they probably are!).
Understand that your boyfriend didn't mean to hurt you when he asked, "Are you sure it's mine?" Mama's baby, papa's maybe, right? He probably knows it's his. But you just crushed his dreams, so he's desperately looking for a way to put things back on track.
Get ready for the "I'll pay for half the abortion" and "I'm leaving". I GUARANTEE you he will say things like this next. These are ways guys hide the fact they're scared sh*tless.
I'm sorry to say you're on your own. Guys are clueless on this stuff and way out of their league. Don't expect any emotional support: he'll be a cold zombie in denial for the next several months.
My best advice is this: If he has a good relationship with his father, you might want to go to him for help communicating with his son. Dad might slap him around a bit and get him to man up to his responsibilities. (Do NOT try this maneuver with your boyfriend's mom!)
Good luck, mom!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2009): I think he's in shock and in denial. I guess for him it would be easier to run away from the situation, so he doesn't have to face up to being a dad, if you do choose to keep it. I'm sure he knows you haven't actually cheated on him, give him time for it to set in, and then call him again and tell him again that he's the father and that you need his support. You need to consider all options and if he refuses to be a part of it then you can decide by yourself what you would like to do. You need to tell a family member and/or a close friend so you're not alone in this, if your boyfriend decids to go the other way. Good luck and keep us posted.x
...............................
|
