A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Ok so im 13 and me and my boyfriend had sex,we used the take out method and now theres only 1 week of august left and i still havent had my period.I dont want to tell my mom that me and my boyfriend did anything but i did tell her i think i missed a period.Im scared to death about becoming pregnant.And if anything happens my dad said him and my mom will get a divorce.I asked to go to the doctor but i dont know if she'll take me.My boyfriend is poor and might not afford to help me get an abortion. But his parents would help me if they could.truthfully I dont know what to do.And theres an 8% chance that i am pregnant.Pease,i really need help.
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abortion, divorce, period Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2010): abortion is not an answer dear, if thats the case your parents will know it, sooner or later, much better if you would tell them.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010): Your afraid of being preg.. But you had sex at 13? That was dull. Chances are you ARE preg. You better tell your mom soon.
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A
female
reader, banditsmom1124 +, writes (23 August 2010):
 the first thing i advise you to do is call a women's care clinic...there you can get a free pregnancy test and someone to talk to who wont go report back to your parents! another thing is if you goto your local health department i know they atleast used to give out free condoms. i really hope everything turns out good for you.
hugs!
oh and btw i doubt your parents will divorce over this but if they do get a divorce theres other problems in the marriage too!
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A
female
reader, Over..worried.  +, writes (23 August 2010):
 First, tell your mom.
Second, you don't have to pay for an abortion.
I am fairly sure.
BUT TELL YOUR MOM!
And can I give you some advice?
STOP having sex! Your 13!, that is 3 years older then my little sister, and many young kids who still play with DOLLS. If you can't even tell your mom or be mature enough to use proper protection obviously you were not ready for sex . I am not telling you people need to wit until they are older or married, but mature enough to be safe.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010): I see you are from the US...the Dollar General Stores and the Dollartree stores both carry pg tests for a dollar or two. You need to tell your mother, now. If you are not pregnant you need to be more responsible. The pull-out method is not reliable. I have a sister and a brother from that method. If you are going to be sexually active, and in my opinion you should not be...please ask your mother to help you get some birth control.
It will be scary to talk to her but more scary to be a mother at 13, or to walk into an abortion clinic. Grown up actions call for grown up actions...
Meaning if you are going to do grown up things, then you have to be mature enough to do them right. That means being safe. Always make sure he wears a condom...and use another form of birth control also. There are a lot of diseases out there and you dont want them.
If you are pregnant the sooner you find out the better...please talk to your mother. mal
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A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (23 August 2010):
 If you used the pull out method there's more than an 8% chance... Stop wasting time and go and tell your mother what happened.. They'll find out anyway if your pregnant and if you leave it too late you will have less choices about what you want to do.
If your old enough to have sex, your old enough to deal with the consequences.. GO AND TALK TO YOUR MOTHER RIGHT NOW!!!
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A
female
reader, Morrissey-fan +, writes (23 August 2010):
Sorry, but there is a big chance your naive behaviour has just changed your life.
Take a test and tell your boyfriend now. If he really cared about you he wouldn't risk ruining your life by using the "pull out method"
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A
female
reader, LilPixie +, writes (23 August 2010):
 How long ago did you first start your period? And when was your last period due?
I'm guessing that you haven't had your period for too long, about 2-3 years max? There is a possiblity that your body is still getting used to getting a period every month and it could take a while till it's more regular.
If it has been regular for a while then it could be delayed through stress. Just waiting for your period to start can delay it so try to relax about it as much as you can.
Try to get a pregnancy test from the store if you can. Most stores sell them quite cheap and they usually do the same job as the more expensive ones.
Try not to stress yourself out too much until you know if you are pregnant or not.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010): I don't know where you get the 8% figure from; the withdrawal method is not a method of contraception. You could well be pregnant, these figures mean very little.
I would suggest you buy a pregnancy test from the pharmacy or try speaking to your school nurse. You don't need to see the doctor to confirm that you are pregnant. Testing kits are cheap, you can probably even get one from the supermarket. Do the test and then take it from there. If your mum won't take you then you will have to take other steps as I mentioned above. Why not get a test anyway? Come on, be proactive, give it some thought. Do something off your own bat and take the initiative.
Finally, don't have unprotected sex. It seems that you can't even go to the doctor without your mum having to take you. How on earth do you think you can bring up a child?
Unprotected sex = pregnancy. Until you learn this lesson DON'T do it again, apart from the fact that you are underage and it's illegal.
Get some sex ed and smarten up. Post back when you have the results.
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A
female
reader, FluffyPie +, writes (23 August 2010):
 I'm sorry to hear that. So, your boyfriend is THAT poor, that he can't afford buying a condom? You see, pulling out method is not 100% secure. Pre-cum can get you pregnant too, the same as sperm does, it's the same "material". But a pregnancy test can say it, so go take one as fast as you can, with or without your parents.
If your parents are reluctant to this situation, you need to find support from another adult, close to you, someone from your family, who can understand you and help you out with this. Or you can ask for help from your boyfriend's parents, from what I can tell, they could help you with money. But think twice before getting an abortion, it might outbalance your mental health for life, especially now, that you're very young and easily depressed after such life experiences.
Also, since you've already started your sex life, you MUST be aware of the risks as well. Having unprotected sex it's not only pleasure, it's STDs too (aside unwanted pregnancy).
Best of luck!
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A
female
reader, kokeshi +, writes (23 August 2010):
 you must deal with quickly go a sexual help/advice centre or to your dr today. take your boyfriend with you. If he will not go with you confide in someone you trust maybe a big sister an auntie or a kind friend.
sexual health clinics deal with these situations all the time do not be embarrassed x they can also provide free condoms which are essential to use to prevent not only pregnancy but sexually transmitted diseases and nasties x.They will also talk to you about IF you are pregnant what options you have which you will need to consider very carfefully.
The pulling out method isn’t protection because even before ejaculation some sperm come out.
you do not say how old your boyfriend is?
I may sound like an old lady but please bare in mind there is no rush at all to become sexually active you will have the rest of your life to do it. Legal ages to have sex have been to in to place so a person is physically ,mentally and sexually mature enough to deal with consequences such as this situation you find your self in now.
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A
male
reader, Pazush  +, writes (23 August 2010):
 Hi,
most important! get your mom to escort you no matter what you do. ask her to keep your dad out of it so you wont get embarrassed.
THIS has no relation to your parents being divorced at all.
both of them are willing for your good.
you should not end your future while 13yo.
no relation AT ALL. no matter what you heard them saying, when you get in trouble, both of them will rush for your good.
dear, please adopt the idea of using PROPER PROTECTION.
sex is not a thing you just do without any preparations.
another thing, your period is also effected by hormonal changes might occur, stress, age, and lots of others... so breath deep first, now do not relex yet untill youre sure.
btw, even if you are pregnant,
you should not be afraid about the proccess.
abortion can be made evan with pills and no intervantion, as long 1-1.3 moths last from the time you got pregnant...
which we yet dont know if truth, but means you must act NOW.
its not for nothing that the law dosnt allow sex under 16. you must be more mature not only for the act itself, but for its implications. such as this one...
dont think im judging, im truely not.
PLEASE, DO TELL YOUR MOM ASAP! NOW! she will be the best source of support you may have right now. let her handle things. she is much experienced, pregnancy is a well known thing for her.
and again, dont trust no others, tell you mom!
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (23 August 2010):
 Hun, can you get one of your friends older siblings to buy you a pregnancy test kit?
Obviously there is a chance you are pregnant, but also being so young your hormones might be playing up a bit as well as being stressed out about the possibility of being pregnant might all contribute towards your period being a bit late.
If you are not pregnant and want to continue having sex, please, please get some contaception!
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A
female
reader, Georgiee +, writes (23 August 2010):
 This may not be anything to worry about, you missed one period everybody's cycle is different so it could just be a matter of timing. I would suggest going to see your doctor before deciding about what to do, because up until the fourth month you can have an abortion. But other than abortion I can suggest other options such as: adoption or following through with the pregnancy. But this is a really difficult decision to make and I really admire you. I really think that you should tell your mum. And don't worry about your boyfriend being poor because there is more to people than money and if he is willing to raise a child then money won't matter. I hope everything goes well and good luck :)
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A
female
reader, spiderweb +, writes (23 August 2010):
 I feel so sad and quite depressed when I read this. In the first place sweetheart, you are too young to be having sex at 13. Even if you do terminate the pregnancy, it is something that will live with you for the rest of your life. If you're pregnant, this is also going to cause problems in your family. Get a pregnancy test kit from your pharmacy. If it's positive, you'll have to discuss this with your parents, your bf and his parents. If you're not pregnant, please speak to an adult who can give you wise advice about sexually transmitted diseases, birth control and yes... sorry to lecture, but some moral guidance too about sex, relationships and maturity.
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