A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I've been married for 10 years and when we were dating my husband would kiss me passionately and frequently. Then after the wedding I have spent the last 10 years letting him know it is a part of foreplay that gets me into the mood and that I need this form of intimacy, however he only does this for a day after we talk and then it is rare that we kiss other than a peck here and there. I feel cheap when there is no kissing before or during sex and he knows this (I am a woman who expresses her needs so not to keep him guessing) and yet he always "forgets". Do men enjoy passionate kisses after marriage? I am not a cold fish, I need fire and passion. I need long passionate kisses for intimacy and without it, I feel ripped off, especially since I am always the initiator and I have been very open about needing this form of intimacy. I feel like I am starving but only being fed bread crumbs..help!
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male
reader, Bob Loblaw  +, writes (9 July 2012):
I understand your situation and feel for you. I have likely been a culprit in a situation like this, as I was married for a number of years (it ended in divorce a couple years back). I was probably guilty of not being overly passionate in foreplay in the last year or two, and deep down I know why, although at the time I don't think I really did.
Is everything else about the marriage going well? I mean, I know there are always issues, at least day-to-day ones. But in general, are you two happy together? I know that issues like passion and general happiness are connected, and sometimes things like lack of passionate kissing can be symptomatic.
Then again, it might not indicate anything too significant. Some men really just don't "get it", but it doesn't mean they're bad or that there's something deeply wrong. Some men are slow learners. :)
I will say that you are doing a good job in communicating your desires, and that you should be commended for knowing what you want and like and letting him know. That really helps...and it sounds like he would do well to let you know what he wants and likes. You should ask him if you haven't already.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2012): In every relationship that I have been in, kissing was always in the beginning ( the "falling in love stage" ) It always tapers, on the guys end anyway. I guess I have accepted it. It doesn't mean that they don't love us, just that there is a certain comfort zone in the relationship.
In my current relationship I don't really need to do deep kissing in order to get turned on, I guess some women do. He gives me awesome hugs, we cuddle and still look at eachother and know that we turn eachother on.
I wouldn't push the envelope with this one, I think there are other matters that are more important and need addressing when it comes to problems in a relationship . ;)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2012): My hubby can really really kiss. After 20 years of marriage I'm still amazed by his kissing
HOWEVER
I don't think I'm a good kisser. I sometimes feel inadequate.
We went through a stage for a while: where he would just plug in with no intimacy. This used to happen over a long period of time. Until I asked him why. No real answer but suffice it to say we got back to the passionate kissing a few years ago.
So do MM like kissing passionately: hell Yes . But it does taper off: it depends on in which stage of your marriage/ the level of your closeness.
I agree that as time goes on, the intensity does wane. Its a great pity because I have realise that intense kissing does take a relationship into another dimension. People lose focus, and also I've noticed that because proper kissing is so intimate long married couples shy away from it.
I'm married for over 20 years and have been through all the married stages: I'm currently in the 2nd run of marriage, somewhat in the honeymoon stage after renewal of vows, so let the great kissing begin!
LoveGirl
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (4 July 2012):
 In most marriages the passionate kissing sort of goes away. I think it's because kissing is part of the initial intimacy couple cling to when they are still getting to know each other, maybe even before they have sex. Once the relationship advances to the point of marriage the kissing gives way to more intimat things like a regular sexual relationship.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2012): Oh Aunt Honesty, if I withheld sex that would only be depriving and torturing myself ;) We had a stint where I would beg for sex (How crazy is that? A woman begging a man for sex!) since I was in my early 30's and needed to be wanted and desired. I couldn't understand what was wrong since I am attractive, educated, and fun (outgoing and adventurous in bed *wink wink*). He had some issues from his past and thankfully he received some help. However, our intimacy still lacks that deep kissing that makes you want to rip your clothes off and ravage each other. If he kissed me, I mean really kissed me, he'd be in for a very wonderful surprise but I beg and he is lazy and that is tragic. I am very relieved to know it isn't just a "male" issue since I cannot imagine that men don't enjoy the charge that a good gently chew on your lips kind of kiss can bring. Oh well...we have children and I am just getting back into my career so I will have to watch the Notebook again and wish that I was getting kissed like that. Damn! ;) I'm not a fool, I know Hollywood is fantasy but I've been kissed in the past and I know that it can be so much better than what it currently is.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 July 2012):
 I think sometimes people just get lazy in a relationship and just settle in to it. I am assuming this is what has happened with your husband. You both got married and settled down and now he is not as passionate any more. Sure yes he still wants sex but he doesn't bother trying as hard any more, or kissing you passionately as he probably feels like sex is just part of the marriage now and he does not need to work up to it.
You are sick of telling him that you need the intimacy I can see that, and yes he may listen for a day or two but never long term. I suggest that you simply say to him there will be no sex unless there is passion. Therefore if he tries to have sex with you, then you just simply say to him he needs to kiss you passionately and get you in the mood and not just when he wants sex but throughout the day as well. He will soon get the message if you are stubborn enough and remind him enough times.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (3 July 2012):
 I don't reallly have an answer for you as I had the same issue. My ex was passionate for awhile, then completely turned on me. I was always the one who sent suggestive messages to him, called and talked dirty to him, tried new things in the bedroom, and he played along...for awhile. Then, all intimacy stopped. I honestly do not know what happens to these men. All you ever hear about is how women don't want any passion in their relationships, but for me, it has always been the opposite. I too, told my guy that I needed him and wanted him. It fell on deaf ears. I was always very considerate of his work schedule and did everything they say to do to make things work. I talked to him in a respectful way about it, etc. Nothing worked. Maybe some of the men on here could give you some advice.
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A
male
reader, unknown2u +, writes (3 July 2012):
In our marriage the situation is reversed. My wife gave up kissing years ago, and I miss it terribly. Sorry, I have no suggestions, but just wanted you to know it's not necessarily a 'guy thing.'
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