A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey aunts and uncles. I have been wondering about something for a while, and would like your opinions on it. My question is, do men see women differently than women see themselves? The reason I ask is because a lot of my female family members and some coworkers tend to insult their appearance, yet they all have men in their lives who think they're beautiful. I've also seen a lot of questions come up on this site by women who don't like the way they look. Yet almost every woman that's posted a question like that mentions a boyfriend or husband who tells them they're perfect. So do women look in a mirror and see something completely different than what men see when they look at them? Like almost as if they're looking at a different person?
View related questions:
co-worker Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2013): Oh dear god yes. Take freckles. My gf has them. I bet you anything that all the women who do NOT have freckles go "ooh freckles are so cute" and all the women who have them go "awh, the poor girl"...
Blonds want to be brunettes, brunettes wish to be red, reds wish to be dark and black haired girls want to be blonds.
But hey, just wait for a guy to loose his hair... and you think breasts implants sound painful, read up on penis enlargement. They cut it in hal*fainted*
A
female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (8 May 2013):
 For example; here’s me looking in the mirror… Now if my partner was ever so stupid to say I look fat and that I should you something about it… I’d simply say to him; well at least I can loose the weight, whereas you’d be hard pressed to grow a brain in 3 months time! :) Or better still; Sweetheart how much do you weigh? 85kg why? Well there’s a weight I could easily choose to loose if you keep this up! :) So YES he would be seeing what I see, but more importantly; his perception is not based on my body type or how ‘I’ see myself.Whereas there is such a thing called MY Self-Confidence; even in a society that dictates us to become stick-insect figures etc… Fortunately I am not influenced by this rule, except for my teeth – I like dental hygiene and have had minor oral corrective surgery.Meanwhile my partner, the Sweatheart that he really is, can be assured that 'if my health' was ‘his primary concern’ I would attend to it. For now, he can keep his ignorance to himself without advertising it.CAA :)
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (7 May 2013):
 Yep the new dove ads are rocking... I would love to do that to see how I see myself vs how say my husband and other friends see me. I am sure I am way more critical of myself than others.
hubby and i were sitting together last week and I realized I was sitting near a full length wall mirror and I must have made a face and he said "being critical of yourself AGAIN?!?!?! clearly he thinks me just fine and perfect... and yes I see a fat dumpy old lady...
...............................
A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (7 May 2013):
 Yes - there is something that exists called 'body dysmorphic disorder' (link to a website for more info here http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/body-dysmorphia/Pages/Introduction.aspx)
I think all women have a bit of BDD, regardless of who they are and how old they are. Women for centuries have been judged by others on how they look, there is always a huge importance on women being attractive so we all seem to beat ourselves up for the tiniest things.
Men are not the problem at all, in fact most men are just happy to be with a woman who is fun and happy, what she looks like is down to individual taste so while one man might like a curvier woman with big boobs, other men like slim women and boobs are not so important, they'd rather have a woman with long slim legs.
Women place the pressure upon themselves to look perfect, and this pressure comes from other women (we are all guilty of bitching about how other women look) and from the media. One minute the media will criticize someone for being too thin, then they put on 1 pound and they are fat again. The media love to do stories on celebrities weights, but the problem with these celebs is they all have millions to spend on looking good. If your career was to look good and you got paid well for it, then I'm sure we'd all have our own personal chefs, dieticians, make up artists, personal trainers.....and we'd all look amazing.
However real life is not quite the same, we cant all afford most of that so we make do with throwing a bit of make up on before rushing out of the house in the morning and then we dont worry about what we look like again until we catch a glimpse of ourselves in the mirror when we go to the toilet, feel horrified we look such a mess and then feel awful all day.
The media criticizes celebs, so when we compare ourselves to these airbrushed beauties who apparently look terrible, we feel even worse about our non-airbrushed, lumpy bumpy selves.
Men will never notice if you have a bit of cellulite on your bum, or if you havent had your hair professionally blow-dried in weeks, or if your nails are a mess, or if you have put on 2 pounds last week - men are really not that perceptive! Women will analyse their bodies down to the last out of place hair, whereas men wont notice anything unless you suddenly decide to dye your hair neon pink.
All of these pressures to look good come from ourselves, men are happy as long as you are wearing nothing but a smile.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2013): Yes we do.
But we don't grow up paying any attention to what the perfect woman is supposed to look like we like the way women look as they are now.
Women are perfection already. Doesn't matter your shape, your size, your age, how many scars or cellulite we have. We think you're beautiful.
When we see the face of a woman we think is gorgeous we see all the beautiful aspects of that face and the tiny blemishes are endearing to us. That woman has looked at that face all her life and probably focuses more on the blemishes than anything else.
But men are also susceptible to personal expectations. Lots are the same about their beauty, loath the fact they're bald or fat etc. lots think that not being muscular or tall makes them less desirable to the opposite sex. I mean you may find a guy very attractive and he may not think so at all. You too see us a different way than we see ourselves. You don't think a guy not being a meat machine of muscles matters all the much if you find him attractive. You too have the potential to view a guy with a receding hairline as gorgeous yet he may think it makes him ugly.
...............................
|
